


What He Wanted

by Avenger_Hawk



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anti-Naruto Ending, Character Study, Control Issues, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mental Instability, Non-Graphic Smut, Non-Graphic Violence, Psychological Trauma, Sibling Incest, anti-canon pairings, read at your own risk because ending and pairings are depicted VERY negatively, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 14:38:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11187210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avenger_Hawk/pseuds/Avenger_Hawk
Summary: Everything is changed after the war yet everything is the same. Sasuke swallows his pride and forgets his ideals because they say it's what Itachi wanted, until the need for him becomes too strong. A different development of canon ending, which is portrayed very negatively.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfiction is a rewriting, under the same title, of my first Itachi/Sasuke fanfiction. The plot hasn't changed at all but Itachi and Sasuke's dynamic has. It used to be my first and last attempt to write Sasuita/Itasasu fic, now it's just Itasasu, because I see their relationship differently compared to how I used to.  
> And yes, I make clear distinctions between "who tops" and "who bottoms", not just because of sex, but because they mean much more: Domination, submission, power, control. I'm talking about these.
> 
> It's connected to my darkfic"In The Dark" (oneshot, about Sasuke's jailtime in ep. 479) that I consider a prequel for this, although because of its peculiar plot the connection is vague, so reading it is not necessary, in order to read this story.
> 
> Every fanfiction is an AU. Even if it's set in canon universe, the author changes events according to their own taste. One of the many purposes of fanfictions is to rewrite what wasn't liked and explore new possibilities. I hated the ending and its pairings so my story reflects my opinion. It's a way, together with In The Dark, to fill in the blanks between the plotholes and inconsistencies, and explain myself why canon happened, although this fic will diverge from canon (luckily).
> 
> In short, if you don't want to see canon depicted in a negative light, don't read my story.  
> Also, observations in my end notes aren't meant to bash other authors, but to justify my choices.

> _"You can tie my hands to the walls  
>  _ _But you can't tie my dreams to this place" (White Lies, E.S.T.)_

 

Sasuke is where everybody wants him to be: in Konoha.

With the battle and the arm he also lost the urge to fight. He's had enough of traveling. He's tired of chasing and being chased. So tired that even if he meant every word about starting a revolution, being the Hokage and build a new era, he had wondered, though only for a moment, if he would be able to really accomplish such tasks all by himself.

He was lonely. Meeting his beloved brother again, being praised and protected by him, fighting by his side as an equal for the first -and only- time, and finally being told the truth before losing him again, this time forever, left him vulnerable.

Joining the battlefield, where his old comrades were fatigued and scared but together, praising and protecting each other, only added to the excruciating pain for the loss of his most important person.

He felt so lonely that suddenly Naruto's words, although the same as the previous time, didn't sound childish and shallow anymore.

He is brought to Konoha Hospital.

The room he shares with his rival is always crowded. People come and go to see their friend and savior. They are nice to him too. Soon he feels part of the group, even if he doesn't talk much and he glares at those who come too close.

Sakura visits almost every day. He doesn't throw away the apples she gives him, but he doesn't listen to her stories either.

Kakashi is the Sixth Hokage.

His first official act is signing Orochimaru's permanent exile. Even if he helped during the war the Sannin had destroyed Konoha and killed Hiruzen, he can't be pardoned. Team Taka is asked to choose between him and a new life in the village, as Leaf shinobi.

Unexpectedly they all choose their former master.

They all agree that they have no roots there, nor someone to stay for, as Karin adds with a tinge of regret.

Sasuke has something important to stay for, instead: rehabilitating Itachi's memory.

He has already told the truth about him and the massacre to as many people as possible – _those were the only times when the usually silent Uchiha Sasuke became talkative–_ but it's not enough.

He wants everybody to know. He wants a memorial. He wants to face the remaining elders and ask them how they managed to sleep at night since that day they forced a 13 years old boy to kill his whole clan. He wants to hear their apologies.

Nevertheless, none of this happens. Kakashi explains it would create chaos and disorder, which cannot be allowed in the aftermath of a war.

Besides, Itachi didn't want it to be public, Naruto reminds him.

He adds that Konoha is his family. Team 7 is his family.

They are alive, right beside him, and they love him as much as his real family did.

The blond cannot forget that Itachi entrusted him with Sasuke's care. He wanted his little brother to live in the village, surrounded by friends and comrades.

Sasuke insists, more and more vehemently. Kakashi lets him talk, but his answer is firm.

He is in charge of the village now; he cannot treat him differently only because he has been his pupil. So he forces the boy to consider the facts.

The massacre would have never happened if the Uchiha clan had not planned a coup. As horrible as it may have been there was no better option. Itachi himself, a prodigy and a genius, had agreed for the same reason.

His brother had willingly decided to stay in the shadows to protect the village. The acknowledgment of the truth would mean dishonoring the clan, destroying everything he had worked for.

The system is already changing, although less dramatically than how he wanted. Besides, Kakashi adds with a stern voice, the last Uchiha is in no position to claim any rights.

The list of his crimes is long. Just like Orochimaru, even if he had been undeniably essential to win the war it doesn't mean he has been pardoned. His friends may have forgiven him despite the pain he had always put them through, but what he did, to them, to the village and to the whole ninja world, was still there.

He must look ahead, not behind. Instead of focusing of what the others can do for him he should ask himself what he can do for the others, and start fixing his errors. This is what Itachi wanted.

Kakashi's speech reminds him of his father's scolding, severe but for his own good, as Itachi and his mother used to say, and suddenly Sasuke feels like the little child he had been, facing Uchiha Fugaku, chief of Konoha Police, fearing his authority and wanting to make him proud.

His good will isn't enough though, not after the multiple subversive exhortations to destabilize a village that is still recovering from a war, that's why both his best friend and his former sensei suggested him to keep quiet, that's why he's arrested and put in isolation, because he hasn't listened to them, as always, that's why, once released, the copy ninja suggests him to leave for a while and come back when his journey of redemption has cleared any doubts on his resolve and loyalty.

Sasuke accepts. He wants to see with his own eyes how the world is changing for the better, and help where needed.

He apologizes to Naruto, thanking him for everything. From saving him to letting him live in his dirty and cramped house. He was alone and starved of love –they both were –while now he might remember what being part of a family means.

The blond gives him back his old forehead protector. He kept the promise made to Itachi. His brother is leaving, but he will come back.

Sakura begs him to bring her along. It is not the first time she says she'll renounce to everything she worked for, just to follow him. She doesn't understand that he's not going on a leisure trip.

He's not starting an adventure; there would not be a place it in for her anyway.

Her pleading look though reminds him of his childhood, when he was constantly seeking his brother's attention. He didn't imagine that his beloved brother was spying both the Hokage and the Uchiha, trying to stop a coup d'état, losing his best friend for the cause, and sacrificing everything for his future. He was too young and ignorant to understand why his brother always kept him away.

Unlike the child he was, Sakura is not so young and she's not ignorant anymore.

Her feelings for him are not a mystery. His lack of isn't, either. He has never been interested in her.

Not romantically. Not even as a comrade, for most of the time they had been in the same team.

Now that he has come back he has learned to feel gratitude towards her, who forgave him for every single time she had been mistreated. She is family too, like Naruto and Kakashi.

Something close to a little sister craving for attentions.

That's why he makes a gesture he has only received: he pokes the girl's forehead saying he will come back.

It's not exactly what his brother used to tell him. Itachi tried to spend time with him, but he was called back to more important matters almost every time, so he would jokingly poke his forehead, promising to make up "next time". It was his gentle way of keeping him at distance, of shielding his little brother from the terrible situation he was living.

It's not that he cares or wants to protect Sakura, unlike Itachi did to him. He surely doesn't love her like Itachi loved him, like he loved –and loves- Itachi.

Kakashi said he should start giving back to his friends, show them gratitude. This is the right moment to do it.

Not having received much kindness in his life, he can only imitate Itachi's, even if it doesn't have the same meaning.

His brother entrusted him to Naruto to make him live in Konoha, surrounded by friends and comrades. It's what he wanted, and he cannot fail him.

Itachi was perfect. Therefore, he acts like him.

* * *

It was about time, says Naruto, the Seventh Hokage, when Sasuke's journey of redemption is over.

He traveled so much. He traveled so alone. He's tired and lonely.

He saw the world and its people, parents, friends, sisters, brothers – _brother –_ and he was always alone.

He looked for team Taka and Orochimaru, but he never managed to find them. The world was bigger than he expected. _His route had been set with indications to guide him, even after he had taken some wrong turns, after all._

Konoha is bigger and more prosperous than ever. The atmosphere is different too. Shinobi look more relaxed, almost happy. After all the deaths they want to think about life, they all say. That's why many of his friends and comrades are married.

Like Naruto.

Kakashi, who retired early but is still a precious advisor, tells him that it's time to settle down like the others.

That there is someone who has waited for him since he left the village – _to kill his own brother and learn too late that everything he knew about him was a lie. To change his path and destroy the village that turned his brother's life into living hell and made him miserable –_ in spite of all the times he mistreated her.

She deserves to be loved back. It's his responsibility to make her happy.

His redemption journey may be over, but he still has to make things right with the ones he hurt the most, adds Naruto.

It's weird to hear him talk like this, not only because he was the one always in love with Sakura, when they were younger. He's the Hokage and his words sound like an order.

Itachi would have wanted him in Konoha living a normal life, which is also made of this.

_He never paid attention to girls. He had no time for petty thoughts. He was an avenger._

_He only thought about his brother._

_He always thought about his brother._

This is for him. This is what he wanted, Sasuke tells himself when he asks Sakura to marry him.

She is confused, and delighted, even if there is no holding hands or kisses under the moonlight.

Sasuke is not that kind of person anyway. He finally accepted to stay with her. He will be hers forever, that only matters.

_The Seventh Hokage rebuilds the Uchiha shrine as Konoha's tribute to his lost family._

_There is no secret room underground. And the truth is still unknown to most of the people. And those who know aren't interest in it._

During the ceremony an old memory resurfaces in Sasuke's mind: his father, saying that marriage was a serious thing that had nothing to do with love. His mother, half jokingly scolding him for his words. Itachi, bowing his head. He had been betrothed and had no right to object.

_In a week they would all be dead anyway._

Kakashi's speech was not so different, the young men muses. He owes Sakura happiness, and he owes Konoha peace. This way he can do what's expected of him and get something in exchange.

The restoration of the Uchiha clan. Didn't he say he wanted it?

* * *

Sasuke is bound to the village not only as a shinobi but also as a husband and a father.

If the massacre hadn't been forced upon Itachi's shoulders this is how he would live too. Even if Sasuke has no clan to lead, and his daughter would change her name when married.

Nobody cared anymore about keeping the bloodline pure and strong, in the aftermath of the war, when everybody only wanted to live, and love.

If Itachi had lived, if nobody had been killed, he would have been a wonderful clan leader. His wife would have had the same blood. His children…

_He doesn't know why the thought of his brother with a family makes him uncomfortable._

_Is it because he's afraid that, just like Naruto, Itachi would not be close to him anymore if he had a family?_

_Is the thought of his brother being intimate with someone disturbing?_

Sakura is a mother and a housewife now.

She's mature; she doesn't complain when Sasuke volunteers to patrol borders and outer areas, that take him far away from home most of the time.

She doesn't smother him with her undying love when her husband is more silent than usual.

She doesn't even ask what's wrong. She wouldn't listen anyway. She never did.

He wouldn't answer. Or would he?

Would Sasuke tell her that suddenly when he was alone in the woods he felt like his life was one of those dreams where one sees himself falling down a precipice knowing that it's not real but still being terrified, not being able to save himself and not being able to wake up either?

But he is awake and things are painfully clear.

He's trapped.

He's bound to the village and to a woman he never cared for.

He's thrown away his ideals. He's living a lie.

The friend who promised to change the system with him –if he stopped rebelling –is the symbol of that very system and the only thing that he changed is their friendship.

Naruto gets angry at him for talking like that.

_Is it because Sasuke is disrespecting him, or because he doesn't love Sakura?_

With a stern look the Kyuubi vessel says that the Hyuuga clan could be dangerous if unsatisfied. Their heiress married to the Hokage was a peaceful way to keep them loyal to the village.

Not all revolutions are violent and chaotic. Some are slow paced and silent.

Sasuke wonders when Naruto has become so pragmatic. So much to give up on his special person and chose a more convenient one.

He doesn't know that it wasn't his idea.

The sixth Hokage Hatake Kakashi was not just smart. He was cunning.

He had forced into the Uchiha the idea that the truth about Itachi was not as important as Konoha's safety, that he had to redeem himself for having tried to change things, even if it was so that no Uchiha massacre would happen again.

He knew that it was useless to fight against Sasuke, for he was too strong. He also knew that it was a risk to put their trust in him, for he was too unpredictable. The only way to manage him was to weaken him, or, since that option was out of his reach, to make him feel weak.

Kakashi was Anbu. He was a keen observer and a fine strategist, and just as he knew Naruto's need to be constantly acknowledged from every single person he met, he knew Sasuke's loneliness and his need to stop running, so he guilt-tripped him into becoming the person he wanted. Someone who wouldn't be a liability for Konoha, the same village for which he turned Naruto and Sakura into pawns.

The Copy Ninja loved Konoha more than his pupils.

_Danzo died claiming he always loved Konoha. Kakashi isn't different._

_Both alone, both manipulators, one hid in the shadows and killed swiftly, leaving a trail of blood, the other hid behind a mask of lies, and killed slowly, leaving a trail of minds and hearts unable to properly function anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I wrote my own fics I used to hate Itasasu clichés, I wasn't satisfied with the average Sasuita either,but I preferred sasuita. once I started writing (and trying to "fix" the flaws of this dynamics) this fic my understanding of both Sasuke and Itachi changed. Writing is amazing, if done with the right concentration: even after the plot is thoroughly planned out, the characters move on their own. So the more I wrote the more I changed my mind about this dynamics.  
> Yet this was my first Itachi/Sasuke fic, uploaded after the shitty ending, when Gaiden was being released. I felt a sort of pressure to write what was "expected" from me and my sasuita-ish blog, as I initially planned out, but the more I kept writing the more I felt forced. I later rejected all that period and I ended up associating this fic with it and those people and it's wrong, since this is my work. Now I feel it's fitting for how I see Itachi and Sasuke's bond, finally. And I also feel that I took the story back to myself, taking it away from awful memories of a few awful people.  
> The reason I was into Sasuita was mostly because I disliked most fics where Itachi is possessive, jealous and vain, while Sasuke whiny and slutty. I think that Sasuke is naive in a different way, and Itachi is protective to the point of being harsh if he deems it necessary, but not possessive. He growled, in the original onomatopeia, when Kabuto mentions Sasuke as his prey (seeBlueviolin on tumblr), which speaks volumes on how protective he is, but it's not jealousy and not possessiveness. As for Sasuita, it's a common fan opinion that Sasuke telling Danzo "don't you dare talk about Itachi" is a proof of how possessive he is, but SAsuke was protecting Itachi from disrespect. There was no jealousy or possessiveness in him, not as a kid, when Itachi spent more time with Shisui than with him, not as an avenger, not when Edo Tensei Itachi himself is leaving him, when at first he yells at him, but then he accepts his will, with sadness but no jealousy. His love is not possessive at all. He adores Itachi, he put him on a pedestal and he put himself below, not at the same level.  
> The way I see it, Sasuke wants Itachi to take care of him, to lead him. Not the other way round. Sasuke accepts Itachi's lead against Kabuto naturally, and Itachi just as naturally gives him orders. Sasuke is Itachi's younger brother, he has been raised as a subordinate. Itachi has been raised to lead, his brother, his team, his clan. Sasuke respects force, and he respects his brother and would accept the submission because he accepts Itachi's role. Because he doesn't really want to lead. He wants Itachi to lead instead. He wants Itachi to show his dominance, his strength, because he respects, admires and loves strength, and he respects, admires and loves Itachi.  
> Also Itachi is not passive and Sasuke is not assertive: Itachi is actually very assertive, he has always controlled the environment and engaged with it actively, so much that he controlled every single aspect of Sasuke's life, so much that he literally decided when and how to die. He is calm and polite, thus many see him as passive. On the contrary they see Sasuke as assertive because he acts bratty and arrogant, and he always moves around. But it's wrong. He is passive. His many actions are actually reactions to what life (Itachi mostly) throws at him, he doesn't engage the environment or try to control things first. He has strong goals and he's determined, but that is a different thing. especially in relationships he always lets the others take control.  
> Another misconception is the whole arrogant Sasuke and humble-weakling-dorky Itachi, unless it's for comical purpose. Itachi is not weak, it's pretty obvious. And he's extremely self-confident and self-reliant. He did everything on his own because he was a genius who always saw himself as better than others. And he hated to lose it's said. Sasuke had self-esteem problems on the contrary. He acts bratty and arrogant at times but he doesn't have the same confidence that Itachi, or Naruto, have in themselves. He constantly improves but he never deems himself enough, because he has been neglected by Fugaku, because to everyone he used to be not as good as Itachi, because Itachi called him worthless, because Naruto got stronger in short time.  
> And I am tired of this psycho Sasuke/submissive Itachi. I just can't see it anymore...I like mentally disturbed Sasuke, and Itachi who submits to a "figure of authority" but this is different. I can't help but see Sasuke as having a masochistic side, not a sadistic dominating one, and I can't help but see Itachi's controlling side and his old brother side stronger than his submissive side, another reason why I think Itasasu is a better choice.
> 
> (more on Kakashi on the notes for ch. 2...no more space here)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy and honored to announce that part of this chapter has been illustrated by the amazing Wynillustrates on tumblr, Wnarya on deviantart.

 

> _"Wake up young man, it's time to wake up..." (Wake Up, Mad Season)_

 

Nobody knows the woods better than Sasuke.

An old cabin, once used by smugglers, becomes his hideaway, his safe haven from the place he should call home.

He places invisibility seals so that no human would detect it. Not animals, for they are different from people.

He likes animals, unlike people.

Animals don't judge him.

Animals don't make promises that they won't intend to keep.

Animals don't force him into doing whatever they deem fit, in order to keep him under control.

Animals don't remind him that his brother entrusted him to someone else to make sure he would walk on an unerring path.

Sasuke is angry with Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura, all Konoha.

He is furious at himself, for having dropped the guard and having let them use him all but too easily.

He is mad and confused at Itachi for abandoning him again. For telling him that no matter what he would do from that moment on he would always love him, but telling something entirely different to the friend he entrusted him to.

* * *

The Edo Tensei is easy to perform with enough chakra and a perfect control.

Sasuke's eyes have recorded the seals Orochimaru used to summon the past Hokage.

The vessel is one of the many former low class shinobi who became small delinquents, now that new peaceful times didn't need their services anymore.

These people often attacked villages and travelers, thus the need for patrolling borders.

Sasuke doesn't feel the least remorse when he kills him; no one would miss such useless scum anyway.

Although he excelled in every discipline at the Academy, even theoretical ones, he used to prefer physical and practical subjects such as taijutsu or ninjutsu, more useful, he thought, to defeat his brother.

_Until he realized that they weren't enough against him, and he sought Orochimaru to learn more and more._

This time is different. His dedication is different.

Orochimaru would be delighted by his improvements in the jutsu. In fact, Sasuke's own version is much better not only of Tobirama's experimental one, but also of his sensei's and Kabuto's ones.

His Rinnegan provides a greater stability.

His Rinnegan makes him incredibly strong. Maybe the strongest.

_Too bad that his powers are raw and unpolished. In times of peace, he's been told, there's no need to use such a chakra draining and powerful weapon._

_Now he understands that Konoha fears his power._

The key for a perfect Edo Tensei is waiting. He's very good at it, even though not many acknowledge this quality on him.

_He waited to become strong enough to defeat his brother, thinking about him every single day, every single moment, briefly distracting himself when training, going on missions or spending time with his teammates, only to return and think about him even more._

The life infused has to fill every cell of the newly transformed body, so that everything will be exactly as it was before dying. This way the skin won't be cracked and the sclera will be white.

Conscience needs time to resurface as well.

At first it's just a faint breathing, then it becomes steadier and steadier, the regular rising and falling of the chest becomes visible.

The body seems simply asleep.

_Sasuke never saw Itachi sleeping, not even during the rare moments they slept together, he was always who closed his eyes._

_He did the same towards to the truth about his older brother._

Itachi's body stays like this, still, alive but unconscious, for a whole month.

_Maybe he doesn't want to be brought back again Sasuke wonders, hoping to be wrong._

He is: one morning Itachi opens his eyes.

_He can't ignore his little brother's call. No matter where he was, no matter if he's dead._

His pupils flicker from one corner to another.

He opens and closes his hands while his mind awakes in a reality he doesn't know and he can't control.

Unlike last time he feels a warm touch on his shoulder and familiar chakra – _he recognizes him and wonders what happened, his heart beats faster envisioning the possible reasons, hiding his internal struggle behind his usual impassive demeanor because this is who he is, a shinobi who conceals his thoughts and emotion, especially during a crisis-_ flowing through him, giving him the strength to lift himself up on his elbows.

Then he sees _him_.

"Brother..."

His voice is the same, Itachi thinks, slightly opening and closing his mouth, until he is finally able to speak a couple of strained words with a croak voice.

"Sa...suke. Why?"

The way Sasuke looks at him is the same nostalgic one. He's older, probably the same age as him when he died. His hair are longer, not spiky anymore but still unruly. Long bangs cover his left eye.

He is speechless.

Sasuke admires him like he did when he was a little boy and his big brother performed some difficult exercise, but there is something more, something foreign.

He is proud, like a parent looking at his son doing something perfectly, like an artist who stares at his masterpiece, muses Itachi as he studies the faint smile and the unmistakable veil of sadness glazing Sasuke's eyes, which makes his look completely different from the past, when he could see loneliness, despair and a burning anger. Not this quiet sadness, this resigned pain that is so unlike his fierce little brother.

"I'll check your chakra pattern now…"

He says, mastering the emotion that his eyes betray, before activating his sharingan.

Itachi slowly lifts his arm to brush Sasuke's cheek, making him smile a little more.

He tucks the long bang behind his ear –his little brother's face should not be this covered –and he sees his left eye, and his Rinnegan.

Itachi activates his eyes. The cape Sasuke is wearing hides that he is missing his left arm.

_A childish thought, to hide his unsightly appearance from his brother's first impression of him._

Itachi lifts himself up completely and from his sitting position he removes Sasuke's cape and sees the maimed limb. He caresses it, gently whispering:

"What happened to you, Sasuke?"

"I…"

Sasuke doesn't even start answering. He looks away, goes to a nearby table and comes back with a glass of water.

"Your throat must be dry."

He's not ready to talk and Itachi won't force him.

Even if he's been brought back from the dead from his brother, who now has the most powerful eye, is missing an arm and can't even voice his desperation.

* * *

Sasuke's laboratory is a tidy room with a large medical table, a couple of cabinets, shelves and a study table with books and scrolls, nervously stacked still open on one another, that suggest he must have spent countless sleepless nights lost in his studies.

Sasuke brings in a mirror so that his brother can see himself. His skin, his eyes, everything is perfect.

Furthermore, when Kabuto revived him his sensations were dulled, now he has the same perceptions he had when alive.

The younger brother's explains his improvements in the Second Hokage's creation, and his look is proud, again, like a scientist whose experiment is perfectly succeeded.

_"I adjusted your height," Sasuke adds with a childish smile, "because I'm taller than the last time"._

_For him it woul be unnatural if the older brother was shorter than the younger. He wouldn't dare make his precious brother be less something than him._

_Their height difference is the same as the last time they met in the cave, he adds._

_Itachi shortens the distance between them and touches his forehead again. It's the same height difference indeed._

A pang of guilt strikes Itachi.

He never noticed that Sasuke had a talent for research; he did the same to defeat Orochimaru.

If things had gone differently maybe he would have focused on research like the snake sannin, the Second or the Third Hokage. If things had gone differently he would have had a better life, a family, the chance to discover and follow his true talent. Sasuke had so much potential, and no matter how much time passed, no matter how hard he tried to forgive himself, no matter how many times he told himself there was no other option, Itachi would still hate himself for what he did to his brother.

Sasuke tells him that he summoned his defeated mentor to bring back the past Hokage in order to learn everything that he needed to know, to understand why he was so loyal to a village that the younger Uchiha hated more than anything.

_To understand you, Sasuke murmurs almost inaudibly, looking away._

Their words made him join the battle and helped the shinobi alliance ending the war.

Itachi ruffles his hair and caresses his stump, knowing that despite the lack of details there is surely much more to say.

"You are brave and strong. You must have been of great help."

Sasuke shrugs his words off.

"Why didn't you heal it?" Demands Itachi.

_Because he destroyed Naruto's arm, because fighting against his best friend was horrible and he needed punishment. Everything he had done needed a lifelong punishment, like being forced into a life he hated. Because he hated Konoha and he didn't want to thank them for a new arm. Because maybe, without an arm he would have died sooner. He would have met him sooner._

"Sasuke, let's heal it."

Itachi continues. "I'll help you as well. I am sure you are much better than I in this field, but I'll support you in any way I can."

His long missed brother wanting to work with him. His perfect brother admitting he's worse at something Sasuke is good at.

When he was a child he would have given everything to hear something like that.

Now that he is an adult, even if everything has been already taken away from him, the effect is the same.

They work silently. Itachi lets his chakra flow into Sasuke who directs the few Hashirama's cells in his body towards the missing limb.

The result is flawless.

Sasuke's smile, slightly shy at first, then more relaxed – _because he feels his arm again, because their teamwork is the best he ever had –_ is the most open since he was a child, Itachi notices, wondering to himself why, and tentatively asking about the current situation.

Sasuke answers briefly and matter-of-factly.

He really succeeded in saving Kabuto.

_He assumes that Itachi wants to know about that first. Not about him._

The masked man he called Madara was Obito Uchiha.

The world is peaceful. Konoha is prosperous. Naruto is Hokage.

He got back to the village.

His brother's smile becomes bitter. "Just like you wanted."

The elder would like to know what pains him, he would like to comfort him like he did in the past, but he knows it's wrong because he is a dead man and even if Sasuke's power is amazing it's not fair to use it to delve in the past.

He's harsh –like he did many times when he was alive, to put distance between them, to not let the boy get too close to him –when he remarks that Sasuke shouldn't have brought him back. It sounds like a scolding and it hurts to see the boy's dejected look, especially after having worked so well together.

"I died the way I wanted to die. I am supposed to be dead, just as you are supposed to be alive, surrounded by people who care for you."

_Surrounded by people who didn't kill your family and destroyed your future, even though they did it to grant you a future in the first place._

"They are not you, niisan."

It's Sasuke's heartfelt and honest answer. His feelings are as strong and deep as they parted in that cavern, yet Itachi pretends to ignore them as he responds in a cold tone.

"It is irrelevant. I am dead and I wish to be dead. Sasuke, you must let me go."

He activates his Mangekyou Sharingan.

_Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, thanks to his rebirth, he notices, in the same instant where he notices Sasuke's flicker of pride for his eyes, and fear, because he's going to use them against him, again._

"No". Sasuke is not as fast as him -he would be if he controlled his emotions but how could he, when the brother he revived is about to cast genjutsu or even worse on him, again?- but Rinnegan is stronger than any sharingan.

_Just like Sasuke is stronger than anyone -except for Itachi, he tells himself, as there is no way that Rinnegan alone puts him on a higher level than his perfect brother._

_Nevertheless, he was able to counter said perfect brother's move, and render him unconscious._

_Does it mean that he has finally surpassed him?_

_Why this idea makes him feel weird?_

When Itachi wakes up he's in the same bed where he found himself earlier, even Sasuke is in the very spot where he first saw him. The only difference is that this time out the corner of his eye, the elder sees two snakes at each side of his pillow, their cold bodies wrapped around his wrists and another one by the bedpost. He recognizes them as chakra sucking snakes, a technique inherited from Orochimaru.

"I had to check your vitals and chakra level after you helped me with my arm, niisan. I...you're not tied up or anything."

It's true, when Itachi tries to move his arms the snakes simply let him.

The boy looks miserable, even moreso when the elder speaks, his voice not severe anymore, but still firm.

"Why did you bring me back, Sasuke? What do you want from me?"

The snakes slowly slithers over Itachi's arms. One rests its cold head on his naked chest, making him suppress a shiver, another one settles its head on the elder's forehead. The last one waits for Sasuke to move, and only when his brother crawls over the bed, over Itachi, to rest his head on the older Uchiha's chest _-his ear over his heart, to listen to the heartbeat he wanted to hear so much-_ it slithers over its master's back, only to peek from his shoulder.

Somehow they act more like pets than summon animals, Itachi notices, as he tries not to think about how pleasant it is to feel his brother's warmth, as he reminds himself that he must leave or the one he sacrificed all his life for will be doomed.

In the meantime Sasuke peacefully rests on him, whispering: "I need you. I needed you so much that I couldn't live anymore..."

Itachi says nothing even if he knows that feeling too well. It ceaselessly tore his soul apart every day of his life.

He would gladly spare that excruciating pain from his brother and take it upon himself again, over and over, but he is dead and cannot meddle in Sasuke's life.

His brother has a whole life ahead, in a peaceful world, and he is just a reminder of a sorrowful past.

* * *

If Karin were still in the village she would have noticed the change in Sasuke's chakra signature.

Since his hate for Konoha resurfaced again – _it had never ceased to exist, it had only been concealed –_ his chakra has become cold again, although this time there is a warm core that flares whenever he thinks about Itachi, which happens often.

Konoha people are all the same to him now. Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura, everybody else are not individuals but interchangeable parts of the same entity that trapped him.

Their complaints for his prolonged absences are voiced in a mild tone but Sasuke is no longer oblivious to their manipulation tactics, and the guilt they try to instill him doesn't reach him anymore, nor does the calls on Itachi and what he wanted for him.

When the Uchiha comes back to Konoha with the new arm everybody is shocked.

From patrolling the borders he appointed himself researcher without waiting for the Hokage's consent. He doesn't need it: Naruto's sons were born without Byakugan. Research on the Ootsutsuki clan would be useful to improve the kids' potential without an eye transplant, not unlike him naturally developing Rinnegan through Hashirama's cells.

It makes sense that while he can fight with only one arm, he actually needs two for research and experiments, since he refuses an assistant.

Everybody consider him inept with people but he's a good tactician and when he wants he is able to apply it outside the battlefield, like tickling the Hyuuga clan's thirst for power. Despite the long lasting peace achieved, and their newly acquired relevance thanks to their heiress marrying the Hokage, they were disappointed that Hinata and Naruto's sons hadn't inherited their precious eyes.

Too bad that Sasuke has no intention of studying their problem. He doesn't care about his former best friend's kids. He doesn't feel anything for his own daughter either, except the anger for how Konoha tricked him into becoming what he isn't and the shame for letting them do it.

His emotionless research proposal comes with a menacing cold shift in his chakra, which causes the Seventh Hokage an unconscious discomfort.

Sasuke with two arms and the full ability to perform seals is potentially dangerous, that's why Naruto accepts his conditions, such as the freedom to work in a secret facility and to stay months away from the village, even it all reminds him too much of Orochimaru.

He doesn't know the difference between them, for Orochimaru loved knowledge and wanted to defeat death to be able to live and learn forever, while Sasuke loves a person, and he has actually defeated death to bring that person back to him.

The blonde's feelings towards Sasuke are no longer the strong brotherly-like bond he used to flaunt, the friendship that was so important that he lost an arm to stop him from falling into the darkness.

_Would living in the shadows and governing as a dictator over the shinobi world really have harmed Sasuke more than becoming a loyal shinobi with a family and without a purpose?_

Naruto is an adult now. He is no longer the lonely hated child who wanted to befriend the lonely prodigy. He is no longer the kid who promised the teammate he loved to bring back the boy she loved instead.

He is popular, everyone acknowledged him, everyone loves him, he's finally Hokage. He has a real family and a village to protect. He has someone who really loves him, whom he _probably_ learned to love back.

He has no time for his former friend's antics. The best thing to do is let him be. Even if said best friend has a family that misses him.

Sakura is a shinobi after all. She should be able to endure, the Hokage thinks with a tinge of sadness.

Sasuke knows that he is not needed there anyway; his ideas are considered dangerous and his strength unpredictable. His family _–he can't even think about that word without discomfort-_ doesn't need him either, with the baby beginning to stand upright, and his wife playing housewife and mom, so focused on their daughter that she doesn't notice any change.

She has always been self absorbed, and her perception of him has always been vague. As far as she can remember he has never been the affectionate type.

Karin would have noticed everything instead. Sasuke never had romantic feelings for her but he considered her a valuable teammate and a caring friend. She would have been a better wife, if his purpose was to revive the clan one child at a time.

Which never was.

Konoha tried to manipulate him into believing it even if he had been clear about it: he wanted his old family back, not start a new one. Now he has his family back. _The most important part of his family._

That's why the Uchiha seems almost happy now.

Even during the rare short times he is back into the village that destroyed the family and turned his beloved brother's life into hell.

The idea that Itachi is back and that he doesn't have to share him anymore with anyone or anything else gives him an uncharacteristic happiness.

_And an incredible sense of power. His older brother is free from obligations and duties and is only in the world for him now._

_He almost believes it's true._

It feels so good that he even pretends to listen to his wife's small talk. When he's about to leave again she's bold enough to reach out to kiss his lips, but he turns his head slightly so she finds his cheek instead.

He could cast a genjutsu on her, to give her what she wants, it would not even be the first time, yet he wants to save his chakra. He wants to speed up and arrive soon.

He has to wake Itachi up.

 

 

> _He dreamed an entire man-a young man, but who did not sit up or talk, who was unable to open his eyes._
> 
> _(J.L. Borges, The Circular Ruins)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The main idea for this story came to my mind a few months ago before the ending, the original idea was that Sasuke came back to Konoha and didn't obtain justice, and Naruto more or less "abandoned" him to his destiny, much like it seems in canon, not defending him against Kakashi's scolding and not preventing him to leave again. In my story though, Sakura got over him and went on with her own life, before the plot developed.
> 
> I am really angry at how Sakura regressed to her old self, and since I used to be (and I still am) a kakasasu shipper since the start, I'm really angry at Kakashi for how he talked to Sasuke, he really seemed a part of the old system, that's why I turned him into a new Danzo.
> 
> I think that he might have made the difference in the way Sasuke was treated in the end. He knew everything about him, he met Obito again, and Minato too, so he should have come out of the war totally changed, his views on everything challenged and matured, instead he stayed the same, or rather he shut down from everyone. It's a sort of retraumatization instead of a healing. He got attached to the old rules instead of evolving for the best, and that's bad for its consequences on others like Sasuke and Naruto but also on him.
> 
> I am convinced that Naruto's words and actions during their final fight, then the jail time (for those who watched ep.479), then Kakashi's lecture, were all different kinds of emotional manipulation, to brainwash Sasuke into feeling guilty for his actions, and weaken him into submission as a Konoha servant with no more resolve to ask for justice. As a result of all this he is broken and mentally unstable, only calmer and more manageable because his wings have been clipped. The way he is in Sasuke Shinden is an example of how manipulation broke him and submitted him, actually taking his will to fight away.
> 
> In this fic (especially for those who read In The Dark as a prequel) the manipulations and abuse are even stronger. As he realizes the truth about Konoha and its people, the cognitive dissonance and the self loathing for having fallen for their tricks, breaks him even further. He is conscious of his actions and he clings to Itachi like a lifeline, fearing his rejection more than anything because he put an incredible effort in bringing him back, because Itachi is all he has in the world.
> 
> I wanted Sasuke to not marry because he wanted justice, not a new family, but Karin is my favourite female in Naruto, she's selfless and way more suited for him, and if Sasukarin had been endgame, I'd have been ok with them.
> 
> The song quote I used, by Mad Season, reminds me of an important person who crossed my path for a short time, who seemed too perfect to be real, a sort of older brother figure and something more. A person who died too soon and left me with many questions.
> 
> The end quote I used is from a philosophic short story by Borges, about a man who decides to dream another man into life.
> 
> Also, those who read the original version of this fic may notice that I changed the snakes scene. I didn't change it because I saw it as OOC but I thought this one is more fitting, as Sasuke always showed the utmost respect for Itachi, never forcing himself on him or imposing anything. Not to mention Sasuke has a special relationship with animals, and this scene shows it.
> 
> There's an artist I love for her portrayal of Itachi, Sasuke and Itasasu: Tosyoen, whose doujinshi "Aishiteiru Kara Wasuremashou" is the best portrayal of Itasasu in my opinion. There's darkness and bittersweet feelings and attraction and lots of love. Itachi is controlling, and caring at the same time. Sasuke is completely mesmerized by him yet he's outspoken. Perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

 

 

> _"Help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody else_  
>  _I want to fuck you like an animal_  
>  _I want to feel you from the inside_  
>  _I want to fuck you like an animal_  
>  _My whole existence is flawed_  
>  _You get me closer to god"_ _(Nine Inch Nails, Closer)_

 

Sasuke loves their routine.

During his life he either wandered or lived alone in an empty house.

_His family life is no different._

Simple everyday activities give him great pleasure because his brother is there with him. He likes cleaning, taking care of the orchard, chopping wood.

While they stroll in the woods, Sasuke points certain plants and explains to his brother everything he knows about them. Itachi pretends to ignore what he already knows; he likes to make Sasuke feel useful and important.

He likes to make the young man smile with satisfaction.

Sasuke made it clear: "If you die, I die", he said, adding "Only when I'll die you'll be free".

Should Itachi disappear he would follow soon after.

_Any suicide attempt would kill Sasuke too, just like any blow, inflicted with killing intent, aimed at one of them, would also kill the other._

Yet even without the horrible threat the elder can't return to his peaceful nothingness after having witnessed the younger's distress.

He can't stand to see Sasuke suffering anymore. This feeling, this bond, is stronger than any jutsu.

That's why he doesn't try to set himself -and Sasuke- free.

Even though his chakra is intact, for Sasuke doesn't want him to be a weakened and restricted imitation of the old himself.

Sasuke wants his aniki to be as powerful as he has always been.

He even made it so Itachi would be taller than him, so that their height difference would be the same they had when he died.

* * *

They often spar.

The young Uchiha could be even stronger if he used the Rinnegan.

It's not that he wants to hold back, but that power is chakra draining and not wholly controlled.

Most of it all it is for real battles.

_Like keeping his brother beside him, one way or another._

Like the one he fought against Naruto, where he admitted his loss because he was too tired to continue fighting alone, where the blonde promised to help him build a new world and he believed him, because he missed Itachi and didn't want to feel alone.

Rinnegan is associated with bad memories. Like believing Naruto when he declared he considered him as a brother.

_As if he knew the feeling of love for a real brother. As if he knew how far he would go for his brother._

Besides, taijutsu and genjutsu are a true Uchiha's fighting style.

Both brothers are fast and graceful, Sasuke's techniques are diverse, re-elaborating elements from past opponents and comrades alike, Itachi's are polished and harmonious.

_If things took a different course they would have grown up sparring like this, in the clan's training fields, teasing each other and going home with a few bruises, eating dinner with their family, going to bed early to go on a mission the day after. It was a nice thought for Sasuke._

_If he ignored that the village would have barely tolerated them._

Itachi praises Sasuke's abilities every time he lands a good blow; Sasuke asks his brother to show him his trademark techniques. The older obliges explaining each passage thoroughly.

He would have been a perfect teacher, if things went differently.

Some of those techniques bring Itachi bad memories: Sasuke's frightened expression when he staggered towards him, struggling against time, stealing from death a few agonizing seconds just to give him his powers. Just to touch his forehead again, their special gesture from a time so long gone to seem another life, and at the same time so vivid. Just to smile to him again, just to speak to him again like a brother, not like an enemy.

As painful as those memories can be nothing is more important than Sasuke's peace of mind.

* * *

Sasuke loves when Itachi reads for him.

When he was just a little boy and he couldn't sleep he used to go to his big brother's room, where he found the elder polishing his weapons or studying some scrolls.

Sasuke used to ask him to read them out loud just to hear his voice. With time, Itachi started reading for him adventure stories or fairy tales, certainly more appealing for a child than boring politics and history manuals.

If their father knew that his genius son engaged in petty activities instead of productive ones he would surely have scolded him. If only their father hadn't been so obsessed with the coup; if Shisui's sacrifice had stopped the clan from going on with their plans…Sasuke thinks sometimes, but it's a fleeting thought because Konoha is at fault, not their dad.

He starts bringing books from the village after noticing that Itachi likes reading. In their house there were only a medical scrolls and books that he studied to perform Edo Tensei, a couple of history volumes and a document on the Ootsutsuki clan, research material that he required so that his excuse for being away researching is more plausible, and that only his brother will read.

Lying is not in Sasuke's nature. Yet he avoids telling the truth because Konoha doesn't deserve it.

Konoha doesn't understand him so why should he bother? Pretending is easier.

He is not a good liar but he doesn't even care if he gets caught.

The only thing he cares about is that they might find Itachi and take his beloved brother away from him. Again.

The following time Sasuke returns with history books; the next, with poetry, and a fairy tale book, which belongs to his daughter, who still can't read.

When her mother read it out loud for her the Uchiha realized it was the same story his brother read for him.

_He also realized that he never wanted to be a father._

_He is not fit to read stories. Deep down inside he still wants to be the one stories are read to._

_It's not his fault if his childhood has been robbed by the very village he pledged an oath of allegiance to._

Itachi reads for him.

The subject doesn't matter to Sasuke, as long as he hears the elder's low and melodious voice; as long as he is lying on the bed and his brother stays beside him.

The young Uchiha would listen to him forever.

Upon his request Itachi kneels on the bed, his back straight, his posture impeccable.

He would stare at him forever. His high cheekbones, the tear troughs that instead of marring it, add an earthly hue to his ethereal beauty. His perfect nose and lips, his slender hands.

Itachi's clothing is similar to what he used to wear in the past, dark shinobi garments that not many people wear anymore, when not on duty.

People wear fancier and brighter clothes not that the times are peaceful.

Sometimes, when his brother reads a poem, Sasuke identifies with the feelings expressed.

One particular poem makes it hard to control his emotions, so he caresses his brother's calf.

Itachi feels the same but he hides it and keeps on reading, even when Sasuke's fingers tentatively reach his thigh. Even when Sasuke's lips follow his fingers, leaving a trail of light dry kisses on his legs, threatening to climb up where they shouldn't reach. Even when Sasuke takes the book off his hands to continue his exploration, brushing his fingers with his lips in a pure, childlike way that reminds Itachi of a cat, yet at the same time sensually, slowly reaching his inner forearm then his upper arm and shoulder, then moving to his collarbone, his throat, his jaw, until he's face to face with his older brother, onyx eyes into onyx eyes, parted lips touching pursed ones.

* * *

Sasuke doesn't know how and when he started to feel that kind of sensations for his brother.

Certainly not before he brought him back. Now that he revived him, instead, the very idea of Itachi staying in their hidden cabin, asleep when he's away and only awake for him and only alive for him, makes him feel stronger, better, more alive, in mind and body.

_Maybe this is how Itachi used to feel, knowing everything and keeping him in the dark about everything, knowing where he was -in Konoha, trying to hate him because he said so- and what he was doing -training to get strong enough to kill him- while he was living a different life, pretending to be a different person._

_Maybe this is how Itachi used to feel, Sasuke wonders, knowing that he doesn't really feel that way. He_ _never got to hold Itachi in his grasp and even now he feels that he belongs to Itachi -he always did- but Itachi doesn't really belong to him and probably never will._

_Thus he insists, testing Itachi's limits, pushing his boundaries a little further each time, trying to elicit a reaction -any reaction- while hoping for one in particular._

Sasuke has always loved Itachi more than anyone. It's only natural that his feelings, twisted and bent by lies and longing and death, take various shapes.

Admiration, jealousy, hate, desire for revenge, desire to avenge him, protection, imitation, obsession, attraction, everything is included in the same word: love.

A word so powerful and magic that he never pronounced it out loud before.

_Certainly not for the one he was guilt tripped into marrying._

Nothing is forbidden or inappropriate or sinful for Sasuke.

_Not anymore, for he's no longer bound by Konoha's manipulations._

He simply does what he wants, like bringing back his brother from the dead.

Like admiring Itachi's body as he lays down on the bed they share.

Like exploring the plain expanse of his chest, the hollows and ridges of his stomach, the jutting hipbones and slowly going back to his nipples and collarbones.

_Itachi doesn't reject him but tries to not react either, as the boy's actions are confused and so is his look, entranced by him but also lost, as if he were looking for something._

Like lying beside him, one thigh draped over the elder's, his hard length pressed against him, as he asks about his past relationships, demanding for specific and detailed descriptions, but visibly tensing up at the answer.

_Itachi replies in the most dispassionate way he can muster. He doesn't like to talk about his relationship with Shisui: both war veterans in their childhood, physical proximity was a rare comfort they only found in the other's arms. He doesn't like to talk about the silent occasional relief that Kakashi and him found together, after his cousin's death. He doesn't want to talk about the many missions where he was ordered to seduce the target before assassinating them. Yet he does it because he told Sasuke so many lies already, but he every time he does, he regrets his truthful resolve, because his brother looks even more lost, his lower body responding to his stories while at times his arm wrap around his brother's waist, as to remind him that there is only him now, not Shisui or Kakashi, just him._

Sasuke' ideas on sex are confused. He always discarded it as a useless distraction for the weak-minded, only rarely a necessary relief.

His experience is scarce, masturbation aside, and marital sex done only twice, as a mere gymnastics to prove the village that he was changed. That he was no longer a threat.

That he was able to do what his brother wanted.

_Was that what you really wanted, brother? Sasuke hasn't asked him yet._

_He's afraid of the answer –go back to the village, go back to your family, don't think about justice anymore. Obey the rules and be loyal to Konoha. Forget about me._

_He wouldn't be able to follow his will anymore._

* * *

Everything _must_ be forbidden, inappropriate and sinful for Itachi.

He can't allow himself the comfort of physical intimacy.

Like stroking his back like he used to do whenever his little brother cried, whenever the boy's hand claws at his arm, as he replies to his questions about his past experiences.

He can't allow himself the luxury of pleasure.

Like Sasuke's warm, lithe body lying beside him, his hard length pressing against his thigh.

_He has to use an Anbu relaxation technique to push his own hardness back without Sasuke noticing, or he would flip him on his back and grind unto him in a way his brother doesn't seem to know. Or doesn't dare try._

Like the boy's hand brushing his chest and stomach, as his big beautiful eyes stare at him in the same awe they expressed during their childhood.

_There isn't just awe in his eyes; there is also lust and sadness and a confusion Itachi never saw in him, that makes the boy's actions erratic, as if he doesn't know what he wants and how to ask for it._

_T_ _here is also defiance, as if he's purposely pushing his boundaries._

Especially not with his brother, whom he made suffer so much, to whom he did so many horrible things. The blood on his hands might seep out if he gets too close.

Especially not from the brother he was supposed to protect from the bad things of the world, not to sully.

_He was supposed to be hated and killed by him, not loved unconditionally and revived._

Itachi has never been pure, unlike Sasuke, who despite the desires and feelings he's expressing, is still as pure as in his childhood. He's just very confused and troubled, otherwise he wouldn't have brought him back from the dead. Otherwise he wouldn't initiate _something_ that he doesn't seem to know how to finish.

_Itachi knows, but he pretends not to._

Otherwise he wouldn't seem in a trance when he traces every inch of Itachi's lean yet perfectly built body, when he kisses his shoulders and arms, when he nips his nipples and throat, when he licks his stomach and his inner thighs, seemingly not caring about release.

He used to be in a similar trance during the long days before his brother gained consciousness; he would stare at his naked form, taking in all its marvellous details, never touching him outside routine check-ups.

_He didn't dare touch him. He was bringing his beloved, his perfect brother back to life. He was doing something sacred._

_Even though in the eyes of the world his actions were forbidden._

Now that he's alive instead, he just can't help it, even if he doesn't know how to do it and he doesn't care if there is a proper way to do it, since the only thing he knows is that Itachi is finally back, and the only thing he cares about is to be as close to him as he can get.

At first it's just his fingers moving on their own.

Then his mouth travels along the roads his hands learned well.

Then his lips find Itachi's and the elder knows he should resist but Sasuke's lips are soft and his kisses are hesitant and pleading, lustful yet pure, feverish and incredibly addictive, to the point of not being able to stop until their lips are swollen, their breathing is labored and their bodies yearn for more.

Itachi knows it's an even more slippery path from there, so the first time the boy strokes his erect cock and tries to do the same to the elder's, he pushes him back with a stern expression, ordering him to stop, because he doesn't know what he's doing.

"I know exactly what I'm doing, niisan."

Sasuke retorts, throwing away what little remains of his clothes.

"I won't let you do something you'll regret".

Itachi threatens, his face purposely devoid of emotion.

_He doesn't mention his own desires and feelings, for this is not about him. He is a dead man whose only purpose should be freeing Sasuke from his obsession and let him go back where he belongs._

"What is it, niisan?"

Sasuke sneers, defiance evident in his words and in his look.

"It is alright to _do things_ with your cousin, team leader and targets but not with the one who loves you more than his own life?"

His little brother has just declared his love in the most sincere and endearing way, without even realizing, like the time he called Itachi perfect out of sheer frustration. Even though his fingers are entangled in the elder's loose hair and his teeth dangerously graze his throat.

_Because Itachi has been messing up with Sasuke's mind since that fated night, a part of him screams that this is not merely a punishment for the actions that he regrets having committed but would repeat over and over if they meant to keep his brother alive, but a proof that the younger is still following the path of hatred he carved out for him._

_Somehow it feels like their final fight, when the boy smirked every time he succeeded in landing a good blow, not because he liked to see his opponent suffering, but because he was proud of how strong he had become._

_Somehow it feels like their final fight, when the boy hesitated for an instant, looking up at him, before preparing Kirin._

_This time too his look is different. This time too he waits for the elder to say or do something, in vain, and when nothing happens he bites him so hard that he draws blood, then he licks the wound clean, all the while rolling his hips against Itachi's._

"We are brothers...and I'm not even alive."

Itachi states. Sasuke slaps him in the face.

_Itachi has never been slapped. Sasuke was, for having disrespected Orochimaru during his first weeks in Otogakure. Does it mean that he's becoming like his former mentor? Might Konoha be right, in seeing him already insane and possibly evil like the sannin? The boy wonders._

_Despite the buzzing in his ear and the stinging pain Itachi doesn't see evil or insanity in him, only confusion and desperation._

_That's why he doesn't stop him, even though it would be easy._

"You are alive!"

He cries out, slapping him again, turning Itachi's head to the opposite side.

"Can't you feel it? Can't you feel this pain?"

His first punch has his brother's lip split open. Then he hits his nose and eye.

_Itachi has always been good at taijutsu, although he usually incapacitated his opponents before getting to that, and Sasuke knows that his brother is willingly letting him beat him up, that he's doing him a favor, that he's letting him win. He hates hitting him, he hates it so much, but he can't let him say that he's dead, because he is not. He is alive, he brought him back. He can't fail to aknowledge him and he can't fail to aknowledge his own existence. His new existence, beside him._

"You wouldn't feel anything if you were dead!"

Straddling his waist, Sasuke's hands tighten around Itachi's throat, as he struggles to breathe, to not lose consciousness, to not leave his brother alone in this forlorn state.

"You wouldn't choke if you weren't alive!"

Itachi's vision is almost blackening, his lips are parted, his hands are clawing at Sasuke's wrists when he loosens his grip.

"I brought you back," he murmurs, as the elder coughs, "I made sure that your body would bear no trace of the Edo Tensei's typical eyes and skin. I enhanced its ability to feel any kind of sensation, like everyone else. I made it strong and healthy and taller than mine as it was supposed to be. You move, you eat, you talk, you can feel pain and... _everything else_. You are alive, brother."

"I...am not supposed to be."

Itachi whispers between labored breaths.

Sasuke can't take it; he's being rejected again by the one he loves more than anyone, they might be happy, living the life that they were denied, but he keeps refusing it. His mind blacks out as he screams out his anger and despair, together with Itachi's name and incoherent words and blows that hit the elder without even looking.

_He doesn't want to see Itachi suffer. He wants to make him happy. But Itachi doesn't want that, and he wants him to understand instead. Maybe this is what Naruto felt towards him, when he said he'd beat some sense into him, he briefly wonders. Then he stops, because he can't do to the one he loves the most what has been done to him._

_He doesn't understand that for Itachi his physical pain is nothing compared to the pain in his heart, because with each blow -with each hesitating moment before each blow- Sasuke cracks a little more._

He returns to reality when Itachi grabs his fist, his look uncharacteristically hazed as he struggles to stare at him with his usual stoic expression. Or lack of.

Looking at the elder, his mind goes back to their final fight, after Kirin almost killed him, when his brother was kneeling on the ground, coughing blood and trembling to get up again, looking both vulnerable and invincible at the same time, Susano'o preventing the boy from getting too close to him.

_Even without Susano'o Itachi still has an invisible shield around him, while Sasuke is open and raw and hurting._

As the young Uchiha vaguely recalls to have slammed his head against the floor, he suddenly hates himself for having let his hands do such thing. He should have never gotten his arm back, he should cut it again, he should cut both, that's what he deserves, he tells himself between jumbled racing thoughts that swirl around his brain and put him in a trance like state again, until the elder gets up and grabs him by the arms, to stop him from shaking.

_Sasuke's troubled state, the way he shakes, clawing at his own arms, eyes darting from left to right as if images flashed in front of him, is the only thing that matters._

_Besides, those wounds are nothing for someone who witnessed war at four, entered Anbu at ten, became captain at thirteen and spent the rest of his life in an elite terrorist organization, mentored by an Uchiha who despite not being whom he claimed to be, certainly was one of the strongest among all Akatsuki._

The boy comes back to his senses as soon as he touches him, looking ashamed and miserable. He didn't bring him back for this, he adds to his profusely apologies as he heals him first, then helps him redress, as if the elder was still hurt.

Itachi minimizes what just happened, trying to sound as casual as possible so to distract him. Wrapping the left side over the right side of his top and securing it with a sash, watching his brother mirroring his actions, he tries to get him to rest even though it's early.

_Sleep is the only moment when he allows himself to hug his little brother, freely stroking his unruly mane and running his fingers through his spine._

Sasuke nods, his eyes fixed on the older Uchiha heading for their bed, but he doesn't follow him. What he says next startles Itachi.

"You should punish me."

Itachi needs payback and he needs to be punished for having disrespected him, he explains, fumbling with the sash he tied only moments earlier.

Only when he wraps it over his eyes and kneels down the elder understands what he's up to.

He once told him that jailers used to rape rebellious and insolent captives as a punishment and to show them who was in charge; he also told him that abusers used to blindfold their captives so they wouldn't recognize them but also to avoid guilt they might feel if they looked them in the eyes.

Itachi is astounded by Sasuke's train of thoughts, even more than by his words, because its implications are frightening.

His brother deems himself unworthy of receiving his forgiveness and kindness even though he forgave him for having destroyed his life.

He sees himself as a criminal even though his help was crucial to win the war.

He finds natural to be treated as such even though he's a Konoha shinobi again.

_He sees intercourse as a punishment even though he's attracted to him. Probably that's why his approaches have been so erratic, sexual yet never done to have actual sex._

_For the elder it's another proof that his brother never wanted to hurt him._

_Another proof that his brother is pure._

_Another proof that he is not, for the sight of his beautiful brother, blindfolded and kneeling before him, saying that he's ready to receive his punishment, is incredibly arousing although incredibly wrong, and the elder hates himself for imagining to pry those pink lips open and let them suck his fingers, before letting him try something else, and he hates his treacherous body for responding to that tempting vision as much as his unexpressed desire, not only because Sasuke is his brother, but also because Sasuke, his brother, needs his help. Not this._

The Uchiha prodigy hides his worry  _-and pushes his unwanted arousal back to the hell it belongs-_  under a caring smile, making sure that it's the first and only thing his brother sees as he removes the blindfold and lifts him up, stroking his cheek and telling him that he has no intention of doing anything of the sort.

"This is not a prison, Sasuke. You aren't a prisoner and I am not your jailer."

Despite being on topic, despite wanting his brother to erase that idea from his head as quickly as possible, he should have chosen different words.

Sasuke's eyes darken because he knows prison and he knows jailers even though he doesn't remember much about that period, and yet when he had to return to Konoha he put Itachi into a chakra induced sleep until his return, and yet he tied his brother to him with a jutsu, so that he won't be able to release Edo Tensei by taking his own life, only by killing him.

_Sasuke trapped Itachi in the world of the living and tied him to his heart, but Itachi trapped Sasuke in a world of desperation, and yet his brother is tied to him with his pure, unbreakable love._

_Sasuke's love for Itachi is a prison. Itachi must release him from its chains._

"You're right...in fact it's the opposite of that. All the more reason to punish me."

He says bitterly, stubbornly, biting his lip and teasing him, kissing his collarbone and neck.

The elder resists, as used as he is to conditioning his body to endure torture.

_He should be able to resist even this kind of torture, no matter how badly he wants him._

When Sasuke kneels down and fondles his half hardened length Itachi grabs his wrists with force; the young Uchiha struggles to set himself free, inwardly almost regretting having brought him back with his original strength.

He grazes his brother's clothed groin with his lips; the elder's jaw becomes tense as he suppresses a shiver, but he doesn't let go of Sasuke's hands, in fact he kneels too, so that both are kneeling one in front of the other.

* * *

Sasuke's look changes like a sudden storm, with sadness, frustration, and crippling fear.

"Why don't you want me?"

Itachi's jaw tenses again.

_As pure as he is, Sasuke can't understand, but he does. He knows how wrong this is. He knows how wrong he is, wanting his little brother._

"Why don't you love me?"

Sasuke's pleading eyes remind the elder of their childhood, when he asked him to play but there was always something else coming before him, from missions that left him tired and needing rest to training and discussing with Shisui or reporting to their father and the clan.

_How can he even think about soiling that child?_

"I love you, Sasuke."

It's not the first time he says these words, that come out so naturally, especially after spent a whole lifetime denying himself the chance to tell him.

"I love you more than you can imagine."

Everything he did was for him. To spare his life. To ensure his safety. To make him strong.

"But you didn't ask for love. You asked for retribution."

He is confused and broken, he has no idea of what he wants, he can't tell love from punishment, Itachi tells himself.

"I'm asking for you, niisan."

His voice is broken but his look does not waver.

For Sasuke love is not the ridiculous feeling that makes girls blush.

Love is a powerful force that can turn into revenge, violence, and pain. Especially pain. His own pain.

Itachi know very well Sasuke's turmoil.

For him love is sacrifice. Love is protecting someone to the point of accepting everything, of doing everything to keep that person safe. No matter what the price is. No matter what the loved one wants.

He knows that love can turn into violence and pain because he inflicted both to the one he loved, to protect him.

* * *

Without a word Itachi takes Sasuke's hand and leads him to their bedroom.

He helps him lay on the bed and takes off his brother's clothes very slowly. Every time a part of the young man is exposed he places butterfly kisses on it, then removes a part of his own clothing too, until they are both naked.

_His little brother is now an attractive young man. The elder was almost blind during their fight and during their encounter in the woods he denied himself to properly look at him, as he was dead and he had no right to meddle with the living. This time, even if he has no right to be alive, in a bed with him, he can't look away. Sasuke wants his pale, slender body, his fine features that time has only slightly sharpened, his large almond-shaped eyes, to be looked at._

"Listen, Sasuke. You can stop me anytime. You…"

Sasuke doesn't let him finish. He pulls the elder down, arching his back so he can feel his body on him. So he can feel his strength on him.

_Anticipating the pleasure and fearing the pain, because the punishment is going to be rough. It has to be._

Itachi balances his weight so not to be too heavy, not giving in to the younger trying to pull him down, down, as if he wanted to be crushed by him, on the bed and into this reality.

_Itachi would gladly sink into the pliant body beneath him but it would mean losing all self-control and letting his darker part take control, which he can't allow, because for Sasuke it would feel like the punishment he claimed to deserve, not an act of love._

His lips and hands are light as feathers as they travel around Sasuke's pale body, making it shiver yet leaving on the young man a burning ache for more.

Itachi's lips worship every inch of his lower abdomen, making the boy moan loudly.

He drives him crazy when his mouth engulfs his length, tongue encircling it, teeth grazing it ever so slightly. He mutters incoherent words between moans, as Itachi's skilled mouth sucks him off, his head bobbing up and down, his fingers stretching him, the initial discomfort soon replaced by a mind-numbing orgasm.

It's not ironic or paradoxical that even after swallowing his seed, even after watching him writhe under his hands, Itachi will always see Sasuke as the pure and precious child who brightened his miserable life only made of rules and duty, war and death.

That's why he gestures to leave the bed, trying to protect him from himself.

Sasuke pulls him by the arm, not letting him move.

"I won't continue, Sasuke."

_I won't spill my seed inside the child I cradled in my arms._

_I won't taint with my bloody hands the one I swore to protect._

Sharingan –and Rinnegan –flaring, the younger pulls his brother so violently that he ends lying on his back in their bed.

"I won't let you stop, niisan."

Sasuke makes sure he understands it by grinding his hips on Itachi's.

It takes all the elder's willpower to stay still and not buck his hips against his brother's and to not yank his firm buttocks against his groin to increase the friction, but there's nothing he can do when Sasuke acts in his place.

_It feels incredibly good. And incredibly bad, because he is not supposed to feel this way._

Sasuke looks slightly nervous as he aligns his entrance directly on his brother's hard member, but he is determined, and ready for his punishment.

Before he continues Itachi takes the lead, gently and slowly guiding his brother down on him, giving him time to adjust before making a single move.

_It's the least he can do, after all the pain he put him through, after having succumbed to a desire that he should have ignored._

_But how could he ignore Sasuke, when he has always been his only reason to live?_

The younger rides him shamelessly, sensually, the elder's hands on his hips setting the pace, not too slow and not too fast, for them to feel every sensation without any kind of pain for the boy.

Itachi is torn between extreme pleasure and extreme guilt, for he is inside Sasuke, he's inside the one he loves, and it's tight and warm, and it's all for him.

Sasuke has never given himself to anyone. The thought of being the first to take him is intoxicating.

He feels alive. It's a dangerous feeling, because he is dead, because he can't develop even the smallest bit of possessiveness over the boy, because he must find a way to disappear and set his brother free from the forbidden bond that ties them.

_It doesn't matter that it's his brother who brought him back. He knows better than him. He knows that the dead must stay dead, for when one crosses a forbidden border, they'll end up crossing many, many others._

Before reaching his peak Itachi pulls Sasuke close to him, locking their lips in a long kiss.

Then, he whispers in his ear, before a mindblowing orgasm shakes every single cell of his body:

"This is love, Sasuke, not a punishment. You don't have to be punished."

* * *

Sasuke always enjoyed cuddling with his brother, lying lazily on the bed, enjoying their intimacy. This time though he needs to be alone.

He doesn't want his brother to see him cry like a child.

Since he came back to Konoha his whole life has revolved around punishment, in one way or another. They called it inevitable imprisonment, then redemption to make it sound just, to make him feel guiltier. They added that it was the right thing to do. That it was what Itachi wanted.

Yet Itachi is the only one who said he doesn't have to be punished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter I changed the most. It used to be heavily Sasuita and smutty, and I'm sorry to have disappointed those who like it, but my opinion about it changed drastically.
> 
> I used to see as IC a scenario with Sasuke punishing Itachi, finally having control over him, forcing himself on him, and I planned out this fic with this dynamics in mind, but the more I was writing, the more this concept and the whole Sasuita dynamic, didn't feel right, and I'm not a "who cares, they switch roles" type, because to me top/bottom means more than just sex, and Sasuke bringing Itachi from the dead back doesn't mean that he has control over him.
> 
> So, this version is now Itasasu only. Sasuke no longer forces himself on Itachi, his ideas are more confused, he's very unstable and vulnerable. Konoha manipulated him so much that this is the result. Those who read In The Dark will probably understand Sasuke's instability better, but it's not necessary to read it. What's to keep in mind is that he is unstable and pure, he wants Itachi in a way he doesn't understand, but he's too respectful -and traumatized- to attempt a real sexual approach. sorry but I can't see him as raping Itachi anymore. Instead I can see him initiating touches and an approach that he doesn't know where it's going, because he has no idea of what to do and what to want even. He has been deprived of Itachi's presence for so long that his need for him takes various shapes. Sex is only a part of the intimacy he wants with his brother.  
> Yet when he feels rejected, since Itachi wants to distance himself from him, for obvious reasons, his pent up feelings become violent, but not disrespectful to Itachi in a sexual way. And Itachi is not passively taking a beating, he's actually taking it "like a man", or rather, he's a strong shinobi, he went through much worse. I was inspired by Don't Play With Me II by Banished0ne, my all time favourite Itasasu fic, for this. I love the scene where Itachi lets Sasuke beat him, and even though Sasuke beats him hard, he looks like he's not feeling any pain and he soon takes control.
> 
> Like I said Sasuke is very unstable here, hence the bursts of violence. I tried to write them in a non-sadistic way, because I can't see any sadism in him. In fact, I see him as masochist instead, from the way he was portrayed since the beginning. He's a strategist and a good observer which usually means having good sense of self-preservation. Instead he always got damaged more than reckless characters, because he's so goal oriented that he doesn't care about how to get there and how much it would hurt him. Even Itachi, who's an even better strategist, never got hurt (until their final fight) and never got reckless. So I add this to the way Itachi beat him up after the massacre and at the inn, and to the neglect he suffered before, and I see him as a masochist, not as in a bdsm sense, but meaning that inside he sees himself as worthless, deserving pain, that he has a strong tolerance to pain and he wants to feel it, because he thinks it's normal for him.
> 
> Also, Sasuke is defying Itachi to make him take control, not unlike certain children or animals do when they don't perceive authority over them and they feel lost, because to them authority means safety, being cared for.  
> Itachi is not weak, not even mentally. I don't see him as eaten away by guilt (the main motivation for letting Sasuke do what he wants with him in Sasuita, included the first version of this story). Sure he recognizes his mistake and sure he feels guilty but he's driven by the resolve to keep Sasuke alive and safe and that is a bigger motivation than any guilt. He'd go through hell to keep Sasuke safe, guilt is nothing compared to that.
> 
> It's a silly detail but also I edited out a line where I mentioned them going hunting, because I'm vegetarian and I can't stand mentions of anything related to animals' death. And because I headcanon both Itachi and Sasuke not eating animals as they grow up, Sasuke because he saw too many butchered bodies in the compound, and Itachi because he butchered too many bodies in the compound.
> 
> On a different note, I like Tobirama. I don't like the way he treated the Uchiha clan but I like his personality, it has an ambiguous side, a rule enforcer creating forbidden jutsu, loving his brother but being always second to Madara. It's interesting. Also I loved his interactions with Sasuke.


	4. Chapter 4

> _"My soul will soar above the trees" (White Lies, To Lose My Life)_

 

Itachi's finest feature has always been insight, the inner vision that allowed him to understand the deepest motives and secrets in situations and people alike.

Understanding Sasuke has always been easy for him, as the boy has always been honest and pure, yet this time no talk, no observation, no insight revealed the reason why he brought him back.

_It's not just out of love that he did so. Something must have happened with the living, for him to cling to the dead, he tells himself._

Nevertheless, no talk, no observation has revealed Sasuke's.

"Every jutsu has a weakness", he used to think, even if this Edo Tensei seems to have none.

_Sasuke has really grown into a fine, smart young man. He perfected the technique that the Second Hokage invented, at a level that neither Orochimaru nor Kabuto reached._

The idea of trapping his brother in Izanami's loop is no more disturbing and wrong than using Kotoamatsukami, but it's a necessary evil to save him; a dirty move that must be done quickly and without hesitation.

Sasuke's Rinnegan should be stronger than sharingan, but his brother never trained it much, as like Kakashi's sharingan it is too chakra consuming. Thus Itachi's plan will surely succeed. He will cast a genjutsu on Sasuke, who will soon realize it's an illusion, but by the time he'll release it he'll find himself inside Izanami.

It won't be traumatic: Itachi wants him to understand his mistake by making him experience the beauty of the present and the hope for the future, so he'll be free from the regrets of the past.

_Not traumatic but still a dirty move, to be done in a dirty way, as expected from a seasoned shinobi such as him. Pleasure diverts the target's attention and clouds their reflexes, that is why many assassinations are done during or after an intercourse._

_It's shameful and horribly sad, for Itachi, to consider his beloved brother a target, but there's no other way to cast Izanami on him, so he forces himself to see it as a mission,_ _to redirect Sasuke onto the right path, a mission to be executed once_ _his brother will be back._

* * *

His body is asleep while his brother is away. His conscience should be asleep too.

_Another jutsu learned from Orochimaru and revised through his doujutsu._

_When Sasuke leaves, Itachi falls into a lethargic state, that only ends shortly before the younger's arrival._

_Another proof of how broken and desperate he is, crippled by the fear that his dead brother will abandon him, and the saddest thing is that he's not being paranoid, and both brothers know, yet they don't say it out loud, because being together is too perfect to be ruined by the inevitable reality._

Instead it's not, as Orochimaru's jutsu never fully worked on him. Thus he's half awake, thinking of Sasuke, like a long time ago, when he was sleeping deeply after coming home tired and sore from a mission, but woke up abruptly, with the impression that Sasuke had called him.

_He wasn't. Not directly. But it rained and it was cold outside._

_That time Sasuke welcomed with a big smile and sparkling eyes his big brother who came to his rescue._

Itachi's body is heavy and still and cold. His mind is tired, his soul is weakened, but he manages to cling with all his might to a glimmer of light.

_Sasuke, the brightest star, the light of his life since the day he was born._

He clings to it even if the sweet nothingness calls him, trying to lull him into a peaceful slumber.

Somehow he detaches himself from that body – _he doesn't want to consider it his body. He shouldn't have a body_ –and rises above, outside the house and his bodily boundaries.

The sensation is exhilarating, like flying.

Like freedom.

_Like love._

_But it's not doing it for himself. He doesn't matter._

_Only Sasuke does._

He thinks about Sasuke.

His intense eyes, full of passion and sadness.

His voice, always on the edge, capable of delivering both the greatest hate and the most naïve words. His hands…

Itachi recognizes a thin trail of light and follows it, hovering his way through the woods.

He finds his brother there, walking slowly, bangs over his left eye.

_Unrestrained by the body, feelings and sensations are stronger._

_Itachi feels overjoyed at the sight of his brother, even if he ignores why he doesn't hop from branch to branch and hurry home, or why he covers the Rinnegan eye, as if his power isn't accepted._

_Itachi ignores that he is the only one who accepts him, who admires him, who loves him as he is._

_If the younger were in trouble he could do nothing, the older thinks for a fleeting moment, before remembering that Sasuke is no longer the little boy out in the storm without an umbrella. He doesn't need him anymore, or so Itachi thinks._

_To him, Sasuke is strong, and beautiful, and smart._

_Sasuke is perfect._

* * *

_Sasuke walks alone in the woods when he feels something._

_He is not alone._

_He turns around, hand clutching the hilt of his sword._

_It's ironic that in times of peace he, maybe the most powerful shinobi, is still so wary of potential enemies._

_He learned that there are enemies and dangers not only among shinobi._

_Many are allies and close friends. He should have known: to become stronger he promised Orochimaru his body, but he betrayed and killed the sannin when he had nothing more to gain from him._

_Anyway there is no enemy, not here, not yet._

_Sasuke keeps walking with a hand on his cheek, where he seems to have felt a caress._

* * *

They are indeed connected.

They are united by blood, for Sasuke used his own blood to bring him back.

They are united by their hearts. Their bond has always been stronger than any other, so much that neither of the two has ever been able to feel anything even remotely similar for anyone else.

They are united by the eyes, because Sasuke's eyes were once his own.

Once he claimed to see the things engraved in Itachi's eyes, this time it's the elder's turn to do the same and see what his little brother sees.

* * *

It's not just the huge buildings that make Konoha different from the old village.

It's people. Itachi has never seen shinobi chat and laugh out loud while doing their duties.

His were different times. In war times people had to suppress emotions.

The Hokage's office hasn't changed much. It was expected to find Naruto there.

The two friends stroll around, greeted by many.

There are quite a few couples, some of them have children.

Peace is a greatest achievement society can reach indeed, Itachi can't help but think.

Passerbys' eyes reflect admiration for the Hokage and uneasiness for his brother, who is polite but very quiet. An attitude that works with acquaintances, but not with a best friend.

Shisui would have noticed if something was wrong with him.

_The blond reminded Itachi of his cousin, because of that he felt safe entrusting Sasuke to him. Was he wrong? Did he misjudge him? Did he fail protecting his brother?_

Naruto's empathy is gone, otherwise he would notice that Sasuke is incredibly troubled and needs his help.

He would notice that people's smiles are somehow forced, as if they felt compelled to show happiness.

Itachi is quick to understand why.

They all grew up in a world that glorified strength and considered war necessary to obtain peace.

They were all raised with their clan's expectations and Academy's values.

Like the previous generations they fought a war; a frightening, but also an enlightening experience.

Standing in the battlefield, surrounded by enemies and yet surviving while others fell, made most shinobi feel alive and powerful.

Fighting against a common enemy made them feel they all belonged to a group. Now that it's over they have become academy teachers and trainers –for kids who are not even supposed to become shinobi anyway –or have ended up selling weapons to a village that has no use for them, but they subconsciously miss the adrenaline rush, the sense of belonging.

They feel like they don't have a purpose.

The world changed but the system stayed the same. It's evident to Itachi's all-seeing eyes.

Konoha is still separated from civilian villages.

Now that there is no need for constant protection, and only a small number of mission requests, it would be wise to help the many shinobi who only know how to fight, adapting to a new life, instead of letting them do useless jobs and telling them that this is the best of all possible worlds, even if something is missing.

* * *

Despite a few jokes, Naruto's attitude is serious. He is probably a good leader, but he's not the cheerful boy who promised to take care of Sasuke on his behalf.

His words suggest he married the Hyuuga heiress, the way he speaks suggests it was not for love.

A marriage of convenience; Naruto is a Senju, the highest authority in Konoha. It was most likely a measure to ensure their clan's tranquility.

World peace is still different from clan peace.

The needs of the many outweigh the need of the few. Or one.

The new world order too needs sacrifices, and an arranged marriage is not the biggest one ever required to maintain peace.

_Before circumstances changed Itachi was betrothed to a distant cousin, whose father was influential among those who didn't completely agree with the coup. Thanks to that marriage though, that man would have gained prestige, and this was enough to change his mind, bringing his allies on Fugaku's side._

_Itachi would have married the girl and led the clan, he would have chosen traditions and duties over his freedom, so that Sasuke wouldn't lose his, instead._

Sasuke keeps walking aimlessly, listlessly, as if he doesn't have a house to return to, even after the blond leaves.

* * *

What Itachi sees next hits him with waves of different feelings.

Joy, because Sasuke lives in a peaceful Konoha with a wife and child, and it's what he has always fought for: a bright future for Sasuke.

Pride, because his little brother has become a man, because the child whom he cradled in his arms is now a father.

Embarrassment, and something darker that he is quick to push back, because the young man who eagerly and naively like a virgin gave him his body, who said he loved him more than anyone in the world, never told him that he has a family.

Shame, for the dark feeling is jealousy, and he is supposed to love his brother selflessly, he is not even supposed to exist anymore, let alone think about having some sort of right over him.

Guilt, because he has been tainting his precious brother's body and soul with his own, he's ruining his life with his very existence. He is like a venom that has to be eliminated, and he would throw himself in the fire right now if Sasuke hadn't tied their lives so tightly.

Confusion, because what he sees isn't how things are supposed to be, so much that not even arranged couples are like that.

Bitterness and disappointment, because it's evident that his brother is unhappy.

It takes Itachi only a moment to realize it.

Sasuke's wife chats about the latest news in her life, their child's, other people. Her pupils dilate, meaning attraction, when her eyes rest on him, but not even once they show care or worry when crossing her husband's troubled eyes.

Not even once she asks her husband if he is doing well. If he is at peace. If he is happy.

_Shouldn't a woman in love notice everything about her beloved one? Why doesn't she see that her man is broken on the inside?_

She just looks at him _–Not like a human being to cherish and take care of. Like a prize, an object in her possession –_ and keeps talking.

Their daughter is a silent child with a peculiar lack of sight, maybe a consequence of her mixed blood.

Not that Itachi considers this a problem in itself. Uchiha strength has always brought more troubles than benefits. What concerns him is that the little girl views her father as a stranger, with curiosity and wariness.

Not with respect. She must have taken this trait from her mother.

Sasuke is not affected by her at all. He is indifferent towards her and it's strange, for someone who has been neglected by his father as well. His indifference is different from Fugaku's anyway: he is not is simply uninterested, apathetic.

* * *

Later that night, when his family is asleep and Sasuke stares at the stars outside the window, Itachi's conscience delves into his brother's.

It's a dirty move and he knows it, but he has to save him and to do he has to know more. To know everything.

He can't dwell on the magnificent sight of the moonlight, shining on the young man loosely wearing a yukata that leaves his pale chest exposed.

He can't linger on how the younger whispers: "Niisan…", sliding his slender hand under the fabric and stroking himself, not even bothering to hide from who might see him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took the inspiration of the double jutsu from the movie Inception and I used a quote from Star Trek.
> 
> Compared to the original version there is less actual sex but more sensuality: I deleted the Sasuita part but their dynamic is more intimate and heartfelt.
> 
> Also, Itachi wants to cast Izanami on Sasuke, not unlike when he wanted to use Kotoamatsukami on him...it's a very controlling move, and it used to bother me when I was into Sasuita dynamics, but it's completely fitting once the dynamics becomes (dark) Itasasu. It shows how far he's ready to go to keep Sasuke safe. Even forcing Sasuke.


	5. Chapter 5

> _"I sense your presence in this room, I feel that you are near  
> _ _So hold me close and whisper love is forever"_ _(Apoptygma Berzerk, Love Never Dies)_

 

Sasuke's conscience is chaotic.

Itachi can't pick what he needs to know about his brother and spare him from his intrusion as much as he can.

It's the memories that come to him, flooding his heightened perception like deep stormy waters. Memories come to him because they're attracted by him, because All of them are related to him one way or another.

The games they played when they were children; the times Sasuke pretended to study besides him when he didn't even know how to read; the "missions" Itachi assigned him to keep him quiet, like collecting cats' paw prints.

His childhood crumbling, the night of the massacre; the desperation of losing his family, the fear, seeing his beloved big brother changing into a demon and leaving him all alone in the world.

_If only he knew that after he passed out Itachi hugged him tight, crying all his tears before disappearing._

The loneliness hidden by a mask of indifference that the boy used to take off only at night, when he cried himself to sleep and woke up ashamed and angry at his weakness.

The need to become stronger, the endless training, and the humiliation when, at the inn, he realized that he was still weak -and that his brother was still unreachable.

_If only Sasuke knew that the pain he felt with each hit he took Itachi felt it too._

_It was not supposed to go that way. He had made sure of it._

_To kidnap the kyuubi vessel he had purposely waited for Naruto to be away from Konoha, so that his brother would be safe. He hated the idea of adding another innocent child to the list of those he killed in the massacre but he had no choice. He needed to be a member of Akatsuki, to spy on them and keep them away from the village and to keep doing so he needed to give them the fox boy. It was either him or Sasuke._

_He would have never imagined that Sasuke would come for him. That time he thought it was out of worry about his friend that he rushed into that hotel with no strategy, no fear and no idea of how weak he still was compared to someone who witnessed the horrors of war at 4, killed people for a living at 10 and massacred his whole clan at 13._

_Itachi had turned his back on Sasuke because he couldn't afford to show any emotion at the sight of his brother growing up and becoming strong –because he was, and he would have become stronger in due time._

_Ignoring him exacerbated the boy, who kept coming at him, screaming his hate, shouting his anger without a single chance of beating him._

_Itachi's heart ached when he broke Sasuke's wrist; it ached when he threw him against the wall with a kick, breaking some ribs. It ached when the younger lifted himself up again, cradling his hand, coughing blood, threatening anyone, even a legendary sannin, to not attempt to fight him because that was his fight._

_Back then Itachi didn't know that to Sasuke his indifference, his "preferring" Naruto, who was weaker than him, who wasn't even his brother, was more painful than any blow._

_Itachi's heart almost cracked when he tackled the boy up against the wall, crushing his throat, leaning on him and whispering how weak he was, how weak was his hate, before torturing him with Tsukuyomi._

_He had to adjust his long term plan for his brother according to this unforeseen meeting._

_Every word, every blow, every second of that jutsu was necessary so that Sasuke would be compelled to keep training, his hate for him even stronger, so that when time would come he would give him his life and powers, so that no one would suspect of anything._

_Every second his hand made contact with the boy's body was necessary to him, who hadn't been able to touch him for years, who had no other way to get close to him but to punch him hard and kick him and strangle him, and despite he knew how badly he was hurting him he couldn't stop because once he did their moment would have been over._

_It was a selfish mistake, not being able to control himself, having indulged his craving, putting too much of his weight on his injured brother, breathing the air that the boy struggled to exhale under his grip._

_He couldn't foresee that Orochimaru had set his eyes on his brother and promised him more strength than Konoha could ever offer, and that to have his revenge Sasuke would flee the village, cutting off his bonds, because the only bond he needed was the hate for him._

_He couldn't foresee that his brother's deepest self would be shaped after those actions of his._

The years with Orochimaru, when all that Sasuke felt was cold hate- and thoughts and desires and sensations he didn't understand, all born out of their meeting at the inn.

Itachi's body leaning on him, his warm breath brushing his face.

If only the hand on his throat were a little looser; if only those semi parted lips came a little closer…

_Itachi knew those sensations well, as he felt them too, as shameful as they were._

Their fight, where his brother's body and soul were completely focused on showing him how strong he had become.

_And on killing him, but that's what he kept telling himself, that's how he filled the blank spaces, such as Itachi casually observing that he was taller, or talking almost normally as if they weren't enemies; such details were confusing, so much that he hesitated before casting Kirin, as if hoping that it was just a dream, just like after the massacre._

The void when it was all over.

_While Itachi had planned that after killing him Sasuke should have returned to Konoha like a hero, Sasuke never imagined anything after that moment._

_For him, dying from the wounds or killing himself were acceptable options._

_His life never mattered anyway, without him._

The despair when he got to know the truth and the resolve to destroy Konoha because it made his brother suffer.

_Always moving, always planning the next step, for stopping and thinking about what he lost for Sasuke meant accepting that it was gone forever._

The first reckless steps of his revenge: Hachibi, the Hokage meeting, Danzo, where he was so focused on avenging Itachi to sacrifice his teammate and then attack his former team.

_There was only the memory of Itachi. Everything else didn't count. Not his comrades, present and past, not his sight, not his life._

_He lived only to carry on his revenge in Itachi's name._

Their meeting in the woods. Rage and longing mixing together. Their newfound brotherly relationship, combining their forces to beat Kabuto. The praises, finally received by his _–dead and revived, but why should he care? He was there and that was all_ – brother.

The confusion and the heartache when they parted, and the humble decision to learn what he didn't know from the past Hokage.

His pride, telling them what his brother had done for the village.

_Sasuke didn't care to be disrespected, he just defended Itachi. He told the first Hokage, the strongest among all shinobi, that his brother was better than him. He meant it. No one was better than his beloved brother._

His will to protect Konoha –not because he didn't hate it anymore. He still hated it more than anything –but to honor his brother's wish.

His decision to become Hokage, ignoring the scorn and disbelief of his former comrades who saw his little brother who just joined in the battlefield as a threat, and his words as a bad joke.

His determination to survive after Madara's fatal hit, not for himself – _his brother still cared about his own life so little_ –but to change the system so that no one would ever go through Itachi's hell.

_Although grateful to Kabuto, a part of Itachi wishes he would have been there instead, to soothe Sasuke's pain; to stop him from carrying on his intentions, after the enemy's defeat._

_He doesn't judge his brother._

_He told him "no matter what happens" before he disappeared, and he still means it._

_He will always love him._

_Even if he has to disappear from his life._

Sasuke wanting a revolution, to destroy the old shinobi world – _including villages and people. Sasuke is pure, he doesn't think about the losses, he only thinks about reaching a goal that is not even his. He only thinks about making Itachi's dream a reality. He has no dream for himself, besides making Itachi proud of him_ –and build a new one, uniting the survivors under the hate for the same common enemy, a potentially immortal dictator who watches over everything.

He wanted to follow Itachi's footsteps, to sacrifice himself and bear people's hatred, even if that wasn't what the elder wanted for him, as Naruto yelled during a fight where his brother was strikingly bewildered and unfocused, where it was evident that he couldn't show off his strength anymore, as tired and lost as he was. Itachi feels Sasuke's longing for him, the numbing desperation, the hopelessness in hiswords, even if to prove himself worthy of being Hokage the young man claimed that he overcame his loss, without realizing that he was speaking about him again.

Naruto was tired too, of going after his little brother, of fighting, of losing friends in war. Despite his promise to build a new world together his voice, once warm and forgiving, this time was exasperated and impatient.

He had no intention of dying with him, unlike what he said once. There was too much at stake. This time, either Sasuke would change or he wouldn't accept him. The prove was the destructive force of his blow.

They both ended up on the ground, missing an arm, blood loss putting them in a delirious state where they did not feel pain or anger anymore, Naruto reveling in the victory against his lifetime rival, Sasuke seemingly serene in the knowledge that his friend would help him change the world, because someone who never gave up on him, even if he never reciprocated the same commitment _–there's only one person he's always been committed with_ –was trustworthy indeed.

_Even if said friend wanted to beat him into becoming what he wanted, without giving him real reasons to see the world under a different perspective and then change._

* * *

Sasuke's attempts to persuade the Sixth Hokage Hatake Kakashi and the elders to disclose the truth, from Konoha ostracizing the Uchiha clan to their resorting to Itachi to stop the consequent coup d'état that was about to happen.

Although relieved that the clan's honor is intact Itachi understands the deception his pure brother felt, the restrained anger when the elders refused, the obedience forced on him, when Kakashi told him to keep waiting.

His rebellion – _he just can't help it. He lives by his rules, not theirs_ –when he started telling the truth to every shinobi he knew.

Itachi sees his future wife's hungry eyes on his brother's beautiful features, shaken by the flood of emotions he was trying to control when disclosing the events forever engraved in his memory, his look fixed on a distant point, his fists tightly closed. He already informed his comrades and academy teachers when he saw the young women and approached them because he wanted everybody to know the truth, even those he didn't care about.

_The truth was the only thing he cared about. Itachi was the only thing he cared about._

A girl wearing the Yamanaka crest shed sincere tears and hugged him close. He stiffened but didn't move away, as that was the first -and only- time someone tried to comfort him for having lost everything. It was the first time someone put themselves in his shoes.

The others showed sympathy, although a wary one. Not the one who would become the mother of his child.

She listened carefully to his story, then she touched his hand for comfort, lingering on the contact, and saying: "…why didn't you tell me before? Did Naruto know?"

_As if the most important thing was not the pain, the struggle that were painted on his brother's face, but the fact that she, too, should have known before. As if what she just heard was an interesting story to whisper behind one's back, not the event that changed forever the life of the person she claimed to love._

_Clearly she didn't know what love was, back then, and from what Itachi saw of their present, she hadn't changed much._

Sasuke neither replied or registered her touch. His throat was dry, as he had never talked so much in his whole life.

_Everything to clear the name of his most beloved one._

His efforts were useless anyway.

_Sasuke thought that a mass murderer and a clan feared for its power and hated for its arrogance would be pardoned. Itachi knew it wouldn't happen even if the reasons were disclosed, and he did everything to disassociate his little brother from everything._

Sasuke got into a fight with an Inuzuka young man who voiced the opinion of many: the Uchiha clan was dangerous; even if Itachi did it for the village it was still mass murder, easier and faster than a diplomacy that no one really tried. Besides, if the Hokage thought it was better to avoid this subject surely it was for the best.

"Why can't you do what's expected of you instead of screwing things up every time?"

The Inuzuka said.

"…to think that they considered you a genius. You're a failure, just like…"

He never finished the sentence. Sasuke was on him so fast that the other has no time to react. It took three people to separate them.

It was predictable to be summoned by the Hokage after the aggression, and it was only fair that even if Kakashi had been his brother's first sensei, having become now the head of the village he had to be impartial.

Itachi remembers his former senpai being strict about rules, but in Sasuke's genin memories he was different, thus it's strange to see him regress to how he used to be.

He reminded Sasuke of all the times he didn't follow the rules and broke the law, causing troubles to the village, betraying the shinobi code and his comrades' trust, making those who loved him suffer for no reason.

The village had pardoned him and his friends had forgiven him many times already, but this wouldn't happen forever. He was expected to change, to behave properly, to show respect to his superiors and loyalty to Konoha.

That's why he was put in jail, his eyes blindfolded, his powers sealed.

_It's a shocking relevation for Itachi, even more so remembering how Sasuke blindfolded himself and kneeled before him, asking for punishment, as if it were a normal consequence for his bad behaviour._

_The elder thought it was because he had casually told him what happened_ _to rebellious shinobi in jail; he didn't know that his brother, his pure brother, his most beloved brother, had suffered the same abuse._

_He couldn't know, as Sasuke never spoke about himself and his life after the war._

_He can't know, as Sasuke's jailtime memories are non existent and in their place the only thing Itachi sees is black anguish and the nothingness his sealed eyes saw, which means that his memories have been blocked either by the boy's subconscious, to prevent him from going crazy, or by a highly skilled mind specialist such as a Yamanaka, to prevent him from snapping against someone else._

_The elder isn't sure of which one is worse._

Kakashi resumed his lecture once he was out, suggesting him to leave the village for a while, to clear his mind and reflect on his wrongdoings and their consequences, during a journey of redemption to atone for his sins, so that he would come back with the right disposition, in order to start a new, joyful and productive life surrounded by his real friends, like his brother would have wanted.

_Itachi was Anbu, he knows that some shinobi only enroll in the Black Ops to have the power to abuse enemies and prisoners, and the thought that his brothers was a target for such scum makes his blood boil, especially because he knows that Kakashi knows this just as well._

_He would have wanted his former team leader to treat his brother with_ _tolerance and forgiveness, since without him they wouldn't have won the war._

_Either that or with impartiality, since the man probably thought that t_ _he younger was an adult and he had to take responsibility for his actions, without favouritisms. Which_ _certainly didn't mean letting Kabuto and Orochimaru be free and only imprisoning him, and certainly didn't mean allowing lowly shinobi to abuse him, then guilt tripping and manipulating him, using sympathy to take advantage of Sasuke's loneliness, confusion and scarce understanding of other's people's feelings._

_The Second Hokage was a better leader than the Sixth._

_Tobirama was harsh with Sasuke, but when the young man decided to protect Konoha he treated him like a comrade, fighting beside him and trying to defend him from Madara._

_Like Hashirama he was an honorable man, who had deeply loved the village and cared for its people. He had died to protect them all. He had studied the Uchiha clan in order to find something they could do to give their unique contribution to society, wanting them to feel they had a purpose, even though h_ _e caused segregation, no matter how good his intentions were._

_Itachi doesn't judge him. He made the same mistake. His intensions were good when he entrusted Sasuke to Naruto, he couldn't foresee that he would have failed him._

_Yet it happened and his brother paid his wrong judgement with imprisonment and loneliness._

* * *

Sasuke's journey was long and so filled with silence and loneliness that each time he entered a village his voice, not being used anymore, was low and cranky.

He almost didn't dare approach anyone because the day he left Kakashi _–no, the Sixth Hokage-_ had said that he would have been kept in that prison for life if it hadn't been for him, hinting that he was worthless, and nobody had denied it, not Sakura –too busy asking to follow him to actually defend the one she claimed to love –and not even Naruto.

_For the blonde the obsession of bringing him back started fading the moment he woke up in a hospital bed next to Sasuke. His friend was still asleep, and Sakura watched over him with a look that spoke volumes about how pointless his confession would have been. Somehow he felt that it was the time to move on from both._

He would have never imagined to miss Suigetsu and Karin's bickering, or Juugo playing with birds.

His team members would have defended him. Or maybe not, since they had left him alone too, Sasuke used to think with unexpected regret. He always considered himself completely self-reliant but he wasn't. He was not Itachi. He was not a talker, but he always spoke about his intentions when he felt like doing it. And he always had someone around. Even if it was never Itachi, the one who he really wanted.

_Sasuke ignores that Orochimaru intended to support the young Uchiha's cause. He had been pardoned too, having saved Tsunade's life, but he accepted exile in order to protect Kabuto, otherwise destined to jail._

_He ignores that team Taka followed him because to them the creepy snake sannin and his former assistant were closer to a family than the charitable village that offered them a place to stay but wanted them not to meddle with its most prized members, forbidding them to reveal that Karin was an Uzumaki, and forbidding them to approach Sasuke, already a troublemaker on his own._

_Itachi understands their decision when they say goodbye to his brother as they leave Konoha. The look in their eyes hides something; they're willing to give up to their comrade, friend, another brother even, hoping that his name will be cleared faster without them around._

When Sasuke came back to Konoha, withered and dejected, he was so inwardly relieved –almost happy –to not be alone, that he didn't even object when Kakashi suggested that his redemption was not over yet, because now that he had truly understood his mistakes he had to make amends.

This meant behaving properly with friends, comrades and authorities, not bringing up the massacre again, but it also meant rewarding the one who suffered most from his actions, who always waited for him no matter how badly he treated her.

Everybody had already settled down, he should have done it too, like Itachi wanted.

_Sasuke married a woman he didn't love –a woman who didn't love Sasuke either. A woman who was ready to kill him when he became an enemy of Konoha, not because of her loyalty to the village, but because if she couldn't have him, nobody would. If she couldn't have him, he didn't even deserve to be alive; it was all written in her eyes –out of punishment, manipulated into thinking that this was his brother's will, by his former mentor, who knew that he wanted to make that beloved brother proud, that he wanted to be like him._

_Itachi can't allow himself to wallow in guilt because everything Sasuke suffered is directly or indirectly connected to him, but the pain he feels is beyond words._

* * *

What Itachi sees next is glimpses of moments, blurred and blended together as if they didn't matter enough.

_They don't._

_To Sasuke his whole life became an atonement for his sins, a duty to fulfill, a proof that he was doing what Itachi wanted -not knowing that Itachi never wanted such a life for him- before breaking, with the realization that his life was a scam he'd been tricked into._

_After that the resolution to bring him back, a sequel of studies and attempts, until the Edo Tensei took form and his heart burst with happiness, anticipation –lust- and strong, deep, endless love, for the one who ruined his life._

_It envelopes Itachi, burning like Amaterasu's black flames, before he retreats from his brother's soul, consciousness waning, his body and the sweet nothingness calling him from the cabin._

_Not unlike inside his Tsukuyomi, even if to him it looked like an eternity, in the outside world only a few minutes have passed._

_The yukata nonchalantly loose on his pale chest and slender legs, Sasuke is still stroking himself with no care of being caught, with a hazy look and his brother's name on his wet lips._

* * *

When Sasuke comes home they stare silently at each other for a long time.

Now they both know everything.

Sasuke feels unexpectedly lighter now that Itachi has discovered his secret.

He is not angry for what his brother did. He has always hated secrets and lies.

If he hadn't spoken before it was only out of shame, for having been weak and stupid, to not understand Konoha's manipulations. For not having been strong spirited and insightful enough to see their lies and react to them.

He feels relieved of the heavy burden he's been carrying all along; nevertheless he's slightly nervous, not knowing what Itachi will say.

_What Itachi wants for him._

Although there are countless things Itachi would like to say, he only smiles a reassuring smile and swipes the younger's bang behind his ear, to admire the shine of both his big onyx eyes on his beautiful, sad face.

"Welcome home, Sasuke"

He only says, hugging him tight, not unlike the younger used to do to him as he returned from a mission.

Sasuke's shoulders and back are tense at first, but he gradually relaxes in the elder's arms. The door still open, a gentle breeze caresses their hair.

It's hard to tell how long they stay like this. When Itachi gestures him to come inside the boy nods without a word, his look fixed on the elder's alluring features, his high cheekbones, his elongated eyes that never let go of the mysterious, unreadable expression even when they show tenderness, the tear troughs that give him the appearance of a fallen angel, his lips.

His body moves on its own when he tilts his head up to reach those lips. Itachi kisses him back deeply, letting him pushing him against the wall, his hands traveling under the elder's shirt, letting loose his hair, unfastening his pants, then flipping their positions and kissing, biting, licking every inch of his skin.

Their lovemaking is heavy like his brother's desperation and intense like his love.

Sasuke arches his back to let Itachi fill him deep, slender hands grazing his back and burying themselves in his hair, pulling him down for more wet kisses, moaning breathlessly in his mouth, following the rhythm of his movements, holding him tight, feeling that the elder is shielding him from everything, grounding him to a life that is only theirs, reveling in the feeling that he is being desired by the one he desires so badly, that he is being filled with the tangible proof of Itachi's desire, of his very existence.

_Even though for the elder his seed is cursed and wrong because he's Sasuke's brother and he's supposed to be dead._

* * *

Itachi was supposed to use Tsukuyomi on his brother while they were making love, then he should have cast Izanami and while Sasuke was stuck in its loop, understanding his mistakes, let him undo the Edo Tensei.

He would have been free from the visual jutsu when he would have freed himself from the obsession of him.

Yet he couldn't carry on his plan.

Itachi saw inside Sasuke's heart.

He knows it's not an obsession, even if he almost can't believe that Sasuke, the brightest star, loves him more than anything, even though he is only a shadow, a murderer who calmly planned to trap his brother into a genjutsu again.

Itachi saw the world through Sasuke's eyes, which once were his own.

He knows what Konoha did to him, belittling him, manipulating him, abusing him, so that he would forget his full potential, even using his memory to tame him. Despite his loyalty towards the Leaf -or rather, to the initial concept from which the Leaf was born, uniting different clans under the same flag, to maintain peace and safety- what they did to his brother is neither honorable nor excusable. What's even worse is that they would do the same again if they saw him as a threat, and even if he wasn't a threat before, he certainly is now that he used a forbidden jutsu to bring him back from the dead, which means he betrayed Konoha, deserting and chasing after him once again.

He knows that just as Sasuke once wanted to become Hokage and change the system to honor his wish for peace, even if the state of the world had never been his priority _–there was only room for two in his life: himself, who had to improve, become strong, become perfect, and his brother, the perfection to reach, the person he loved_ –the only reason his brother lived in Konoha, despite the grudge for the village, the disappointment for Naruto's change and the indifference towards his family was to respect what they made him believe was his will.

_Itachi didn't want any of this. He wanted Sasuke in the village, healing from the wounds that he inflicted on him, finally free from the memory of a brother who made him suffer more than anyone, who hit him in body and soul with blood stained hands and mind._

_He wanted Sasuke surrounded by friends and mentors like Naruto and Kakashi, who forgave the mistakes of the past and supported the good deeds of the present._

_He wanted Sasuke to experience joy, contentment, love, everything that life had to offer to the wonderful person he was._

_He didn't want Sasuke to be guilt tripped for his crimes instead of being supported and healed._

_He didn't want Sasuke to be abandoned like a troublesome burden to take care of only because of a promise, and left to himself because the job has been completed, for friendship is not a job._

_He didn't want Sasuke to be put in jail like a traitor, sealed, blindfolded and abused._

_He didn't want Sasuke to be manipulated into doing what he would have supposedly wanted, mimicking the lives of other people, with a different history, a different personality and different goals._

_He didn't want Sasuke to be forced to marry someone who called her selfishness and desire life, who thought that he owed it to her only because she had been persistently pursuing him._

_Love is not something that can be owed._

_Itachi knows it well, because he doesn't deserve Sasuke's unconditional love and yet he keeps receiving it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I first uploaded this fic when Gaiden was being released, and it was spooky at times because I foresaw a lot of it. Like Sasuke being away from the village for years, to name one.
> 
> Compared to the original version this chapter's plot is the same but there are some differences: a reference to episode 479, since this new version is connected to my oneshot In The Dark which is about Sasuke's abuse in jail. It's not necessary to read it, like I already said, its plot is only hinted at, never referred to in detail, since Sasuke can't remember about it so Itachi can't see it. also that fic is way darker than WHW.
> 
> Sasuke didn't tell Itachi the truth because he was ashamed of having been manipulated. It's a feeling that those who have been manipulated and abused have often, and it's horrible because they feel like idiots, for not having realized the manipulation before. (spoiler: real story)
> 
> Even in the previous version Itachi's judgement of Konoha and what they did to Sasuke has always been clear, but in this version it's even more evident, a consequence of ep. 479, and a spooky coincidence: a few months ago I started revising the previous version when I stumbled on eeliiii's amazing artworks on tumblr, some of which even loosely quoted this fic. It was really cool for me, seeing that my work somehow influenced an amazing artist such as her. Not only I was really happy but her Uchiha Clan Revival AU was at the time inspiring and validating for my headcanons since her ideas on Itachi, Sasuke and her dynamics are spookily similar to mine. And another reason I felt like I couldn't keep the story as it was, with that Sasuita dynamic that felt more and more alien to me despite all the things I loved about it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy and honored to announce that part of this chapter has been illustrated by the amazing author and artist Purewaterlily and it's really beautiful. It's on my tumblr, tagged with her name.

 

 

 

> _"He says 'the only thing I've ever found  
>  _ _That's greater than it always sounds  
>  _ _Is love.'" (White Lies, Is Love)_

 

Even though for a long time his goal has been to avenge the clan, Sasuke's memory of them is vague. Maybe because he was so young when he lost them all.

Maybe because he forced himself not to think about them as actual individuals but as an entity, an abstract concept to give him purpose and strength, not memories.

He never grieved them. He never stopped to mourn the loss of the people he loved.

Not even his parents, for when he visited the cemetery he never prayed them, or pray for them.

He only changed the flowers on their grave, mentally repeating his oath of revenge, carefully blocking out every happy memory.

_He didn't stop to mourn Itachi either. He couldn't. Not only because he had to avenge him, but also because grieving would be admitting that he was gone forever and that meant having a piece of his soul ripped away from him._

* * *

Sasuke is curious about everyone, from influential figures to ordinary people.

Learning about them is his way of grieving.

He especially likes the anecdotes about people he interacted with; his favorites are those where he and Itachi are involved, even though there aren't many because his brother was always busy, between missions for the clan and missions for Konoha, and when he was free he used to train, alone or with Shisui.

The young Uchiha loves to hear about their cousin.

He remembered the young man, resolute but kind, always showing a big smile and saying nice things to him, who was often a little jealous because he was older, stronger and allowed to take his brother out after dinner, while he had to go to sleep early.

Back then he ignored that instead of doing funny things the two boys discussed about the grim future that was about to crush them all.

Sometimes Itachi explains him events of historical and cultural value for the clan, such as their ancient religion, their founding fathers, events happened before Madara.

Sometimes, noticing that Sasuke can't remember the details of his childhood, Itachi takes him there using the same genjutsu he used to show him the origins of mangekyou sharingan.

With his brother he roams in the compound, through its streets and people, taking in all the colors, the sounds, the tastes of the place he called home in a forever gone past.

Sometimes he is overwhelmed by the guilt of not having been able to keep the promise and avenge them, to have justice for all of them.

When it happens Itachi's presence is the only thing that brings him back from his darkest thoughts.

_When it happens he squeezes his hand or he hugs him without a word. The deeper and stronger the darkness is, the closer and tighter he must feel the elder's warm body._

For him Itachi is more important than anything and anyone.

He is his love, his reason, his past, his future. He is everything.

* * *

For Itachi digging up the past is just as painful.

_Just like Sasuke he never stopped to mourn their family and their clan. Unlike his brother though, he remembered every single person living in the Uchiha compound._

_Every single person he killed._

_Their faces, their voices, the moments shared with each of them._

_They haunted him on countless nights, their faces covered in blood and their voices cursing him. Sometimes it was hard to pretend they didn't exist, when he woke up screaming, next to his Akatsuki team-mate._

Sasuke stopped considering him guilty for their deaths when he knew the truth.

For Itachi it's different. Despite he is the one who mentioned the importance of forgiving oneself, he can't completely shake the guilt off, not only because he drew the sword and killed them, but also because of the extent of the suffering he inflicted on his brother, that he sees every day in countless occasions and every night, when the boy thrashes in his sleep, drenched in sweat, whimpering, begging for his life and their parents'.

_Except that in Sasuke's dreams he is no longer the perpetrator of the massacre._

_Sometimes it's Danzo, the Third, or Kakashi, who pierces his mother and father._ _Sometimes it's Naruto, grinning evilly, kyuubi's evil chakra flaring and instantly eliminating everyone around, while in his house, looming over his family, over Itachi, there are his wife and daughter, the first with a nonchalant expression, the second with a maleficent grin._

Itachi can't completely forgive himself, even if he knows that he didn't have a choice. Sasuke would have been killed otherwise, by Danzo or by the consequent war. Despite having told his brother that maybe together they could have changed their father's mind, he knew that for Uchiha Fugaku and many others the coup had been a cause greater than themselves. A prodigy and his little brother wouldn't have been enough to stop them. Their pride as a clan had been stepped on for too long. They preferred death to oppression.

Sasuke's memory, his heart and soul, bore no trace of hate for him.

Nevertheless, whether it was a spark from the unconscious or a conditioned reflex from his body reminding him of the old fear, at times the elder can see his brother's eyes darkening. It is just a moment, like a passing cloud over a bright sky; until the younger reaches out to him.

Sasuke always touches him to chase his somber thoughts, as to prove to himself that his brother is not an enemy. As to prove to himself that is brother is actually there.

_Sasuke reaches out to him to chase away the residual fear of him. Itachi can't help but love him even more, seeing how deep his love is, seeing how pure and vulnerable he can be, despite the strenght and ability he achieved._

Itachi knows that to chase the cold blooded killer from his mind sometimes a hug is not enough, and he doesn't try to tame the younger when he is driven towards him by a racing, desperate passion. He knows that his brother only needs him close.

Their intimacy is a limbo of chaste comforting proximity and sensual touches: they spend hours laying on their bed, in a genjutsu or just talking, holding each other, Sasuke nesting against the elder's chest, Itachi's arms wrapped around the boy's waist.

They don't really have sex, or rather, they don't have intercourse, but they pleasure each other in a slow, decadent yet virginal way, with endless kisses and their hands stroking themselves or the other to completion, eyes locked with each other yet both floating in a dreamlike state of existence.

_There isn't a reason for Sasuke not to initiate or demand for intercourse, or maybe there is one and it's in the blocked memories of his jailtime, or in the residual fear of being refused, or in a pure soul that doesn't see any difference in what they do because all he wants is Itachi beside him, close enough to breathe from his mouth._

Itachi hasn't forgotten his resolve. He tells himself that he will find a way to leave the world once Sasuke gets better, that no matter how perfect is their life together, no matter how much he loves him, he is not what Sasuke needs because he is a dead man, a constant reminder of the massacre.

_There isn't a reason for Itachi not to initiate intercourse, or maybe there is one and it's because he's afraid he might cast Izanami on him if they had sex, or maybe he wouldn't, and in both cases he would hate himself._

It's selfish to even think about it. Sasuke deserves much better than him.

Yet he now knows that the boy can't heal in Konoha either, where he is not even considered a tool like he was, only a troublesome wild animal to be kept in a cage made of tricks and manipulations.

Sasuke deserves much more than this.

Now that there are no more secrets he opened up and honestly talks about everything, replying to every question with no reticence or embarrassment, reminding the elder of the times he was a child.

He is not a child anymore though, and he is not hiding in fear of being punished for breaking a vase. He is hiding from a family he doesn't want. From a village that betrayed him.

The peace his brother experiences while living with him is frail, like a bubble swung by the breeze, that a stronger wind would easily burst.

An illusion, like a genjutsu; with him Sasuke forgets about the ties imprisoning him, yet outside they still exist.

Outside, Sasuke has a daughter, an innocent child who should not suffer for reasons she can't even understand.

Outside, the wrong choice might unbalance the painfully acquired world peace.

Outside, Sasuke might be judged as a criminal and imprisoned again.

An older brother's job is to protect the younger, but what is the right protection now? For the first time Itachi doesn't know what to do.

In the past he thoroughly designed everything so that his beloved brother would stay safe, become strong, and when the time was ready kill him and be granted with his power.

Despite Orochimaru's disturbance he was able to adapt his long term plan so that Sasuke would be free from the sannin's curse and could return to Konoha as the hero who killed the infamous mass murderer.

Not even his brilliant mind and his unique insight predicted Sasuke's decisions though.

Itachi underestimated how important and irreplaceable he was for his brother. He didn't predict how badly Sasuke would have suffered without him. How far he would have gone to reach him.

_It was all his fault._

He doesn't want anything like that to happen again. All he wants now is to shield him from every problem, to bear them all on his shoulders so that the other can be free.

* * *

Maybe the cabin where Sasuke and Itachi live hasn't always belonged to smugglers. Maybe it was built by a solitary soul who missed the elegant beauty of cherry blossom trees and the pleasure of watching them with a loved one. Maybe he planted some in a nearby clearing to enjoy them every year.

That person is long gone but the trees are still there, blooming with pink flowers whose delicate petals are carried by a gentle spring breeze.

Itachi can't help running his fingers through Sasuke's black mane, that apparently attracts and traps those petals, unlike his silky locks.

They walked here holding hands, the younger telling the older about a wonderful place he had discovered.

Itachi thanks Sasuke for showing him to such a beautiful scenery and the young man lowers his gaze, saying that its beauty reminded him think of his brother's. As he speaks love is written all over his face, eliciting a smile and more beauty for his adoring eyes.

While Sasuke's eyes sees the most perfect beauty looking in Itachi, the elder only sees the reflection of a man whose entire body and hands are stained with blood. Sasuke's beauty is much more stunning to him.

The young man is delicate and strong at the same time. His features are full of contrasts, the paleness of his skin against the raven black of his hair; the coldness he shows around everyone and the warmth he saves only for him.

Cold, like the bittersweet metal clipped around his neck, while Itachi's eyes are closed just like the younger asked. His fingers recognize the pattern: an exact replica of the one he used to wear, which was their father's gift to their mother. When she looked at it she saw the three men of her life, Mikoto told him once, putting it back to her drawer, preventing little Sasuke from constantly pulling it.

"Something was missing without it. Now everything is perfect."

He says, lightly tugging at the keychain, as he didn't lose that habit.

 _Nothing is perfect, Itachi reminds himself._ _Even if that particular place and time –the most beautiful scenery he has seen in his life, with the most important person of his life –looks like a glimpse of heaven for his damned soul._

_He can't lose contact with reality though. He can't forget who he is, what he did and what he must do._

_He can't forget that he is the one his beloved brother must be freed from._

"Just like you are."

Warmth, like the hand caressing Itachi's cheek, tracing the contour of his lips, while he pulls him closer, tilting his head down to meet his mouth in a slow kiss that becomes long and heated and leaves them both panting for breath.

"Sasuke…"

This area is slightly outside their invisibility seals.

Sasuke unties Itachi's top and stands still for a moment, to admire the sight of Itachi's chiseled chest, tracing their faint outline gently, and placing an equally delicate kiss on Itachi's collarbone, as he lets the elder's top fall on the grass.

"I am yours, niisan."

There is something in his eyes that reminds Itachi of his goal and of his doubts about the safest way to achieve it.

_There is something in his eyes that reminds him of how fragile he is and of how everyone failed him so far. Even him. Especially him._

"And you...You are mine now. Isn't it?"

His voice is almost hesitant. He frees the elder's hair and runs his finger through the dark silky strands. He rests his hand on the other's shoulder, waiting for a reply, or a hug, or both. Itachi replies to his question by getting on his knees.

Sasuke bites his bottom lip, taking in the sight of Itachi, the perfect shinobi, the perfect brother, the one he always dreamed of, kneeling in front of him.

Submitting to him.

_For a brief moment it seems almost true._

He belongs to Itachi and Itachi belongs to him, Sasuke repeats in his mind as the elder frees his arousal.

He clasps his brother's hair and pulls his head back, as Itachi's lips close around his cock and his hands rest on his hips to keep him still and let him breathe, and let him pleasure him with his skilled mouth.

_Itachi is perfect in everything he does. So much that more than once Sasuke felt something close to jealousy, because Itachi knows everything about him, about sex, about everything, and he doesn't care about not knowing anything or sex, but he hates to not know everything about Itachi._

When Itachi feels that the boy is close he removes his hands so that he's free to buck his hips and fucks the elder's mouth, barely letting him take in some air, never loosening the grip _–Itachi might leave if he did_ – not even when he spills his seed with a muffled cry.

Itachi swallows it all and looks at Sasuke from below.

He's graceful as ever; he's strong as ever.

His look is as puzzling as ever, as if a part of him were there, with him, in the here and now, and another one were far away, maybe in the past or maybe in the future. Never entirely with him. Never entirely his own.

Just like he has always been.

 _Itachi may be on his knees but_ _he is_ _not submissive._

_He may be there with him but he doesn't belong to him._

When he stands up Sasuke devours his lips again, pressing their bodies together so that he leans against one of the trees.

"Sasuke. Let's go back."

Sasuke doesn't reply. Instead he kisses his neck, while his lips travel over his broad chest, down his toned stomach and lower.

"It's my turn to pleasure you, niisan."

He says, his voice low, his hands leaving the elder's pants to remove his own shirt, then suck and bite at his nipples. Itachi slides his hands over his arms, wanting to stop him but too caught in that addictive pleasure.

"Sasuke. We must go back. Someone …"

Unfazed by his words, Sasuke replies with a low growl that vibrates on Itachi's skin.

"Let them come."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the brothers visiting the Uchiha compound in a genjutsu I was inspired by a beautiful scene from Ex Delicium Delirium by Purewaterlily.
> 
> Sasuke pining after Itachi, trying to get closer to him physically and metaphorically, but never really reaching him (even though Itachi's heart belongs to him since he was born) as he would like to, is sad but very fitting. In my opinion more than forcing himself on him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dedicate this chapter to eeliiii, her amazing artworks and all those spooky coincidences~  
> I'm really proud that she found WHW and In The Dark inspiring for her amazing Avenger Itachi AU, which I found inspiring and validating in return. In specific, the fanarts I'm talking about here are "the birth of Avenger Itachi" and "good night, sweet dreams, nii-san". So go check her tumblr!

 

> _"We are the ones with the radiating eyes._  
>  _We are the ones who have a fire inside._  
>  _We are the ones only we can recognize._  
>  _We've been rejected (we've been rejected)-_  
>  _Suffered the ignorance, suffered the selfishness,_  
>  _been pushed so far down now comes our time to surface._  
>  _Turn from the light, that made them all go blind._  
>  _We've been protected (we've been protected)_  
>  _ALL ARISE TO WHAT WE BRING,_  
>  _OUTSTRETCHED HANDS, UNFOLDED WINGS._  
>  _We've hurt ourselves, and I feel the sting of_  
>  _broken hearts and burning wings..." (A.F.I, keeping out of direct sunlight)_

 

It's impossible that Sasuke hasn't sensed anything.

_Unless he did it on purpose._

The more Itachi tenses up _–Anything could happen. He can't lose control now –_ the more Sasuke's kisses become feverish, sucking and biting his nipples, one hand leaning on his hip, the other one stroking his length.

The odd hair color gives her away. Her shrill voice, filling the silent grove, does the rest.

"Sasuke…what have you done?"

Sasuke straightens his back calmly, looking at his wife with an arrogant smirk, for her question is unclear.

What has he done admiring flowers in the woods instead of working on his _extremely important research_?

What has he done bringing Itachi back with a forbidden jutsu?

What has he done passionately kissing a man, his own brother, his own formerly dead brother nonetheless?

_His own brother, used and thrown away like a disposable tool, forgotten by a village that should have treated him like a hero._

_His own brother, the only one he ever loved, unlike her._

What has he done being so stupid to fall into Konoha's manipulations and believing that he was really supposed –that his brother wanted him to –to marry her annoying self?

In fact it's surprising to see her on a mission since she resigned a long time ago. Not that the village missed her abilities anyway; Sasuke never understood the praise she received. People used to talk about what a strong medic and fighter she was, but all he saw was someone who thought that everything was as simple and shallow as her.

This is the first time she proves him wrong. Maybe because it's about retrieving what she considers to be her possession.

She never noticed how bad Sasuke felt in Konoha and in their home but she was quick to notice that there was someone else in his heart.

_As if his heart has ever been hers anyway._

_Even when he was not among the living his heart belonged to Itachi._

_Even when he knew nothing about the truth his heart belonged to Itachi._

The rest of the squad arrives: two Anbu, a member of the Aburame clan wearing a peculiar visor that covers half of his face and the same Inuzuka whom Itachi saw fighting his brother, in his memories.

Despite Itachi feels exposed, bare chested in front of them, it's easy for him to hide his discomfort, after all the years spent in Anbu, then in Akatsuki.

_After having fought against his own brother, the light of his life, pretending he wanted to kill him and take his eyes while he was planning the opposite._

He carefully observes Sasuke. He is shirtless as well but he doesn't care. Despite the situation he is unnaturally calm, as he protectively stands before him, only slightly shifted.

"Let them see you, niisan..."

He adds, ambiguously.

* * *

He planned everything.

Itachi ignores if after his disembodied soul returned to his body that time, Sasuke planted the seed of doubt in his wife's mind on purpose or not. What he knows is that his brother didn't give away their cabin's position and lured them just outside the sealed area.

Even though his strategy is extremely reckless Itachi recognizes that he made the same mistake of the past, underestimating him and his strategic ability again.

_Sasuke is a good tactician but he let his own feelings get in the way._

_This wonderful place, the necklace, the way he caressed his cheek, his words, the light in his eyes…none of these were acts._

_The love they would have made if those people hadn't arrived wouldn't have been an act._

_Itachi knows, because he has always been good at putting his feelings aside instead, to enact his strategy. He has been doing it his entire life._

_He would have done it differently, were he in his place._

_He has done it differently and Sasuke still has scars because of how flawless he has been._

"Why are you doing this to me?" she questions, holding back the tears.

"I'm not doing anything to you. I'm doing something for me."

The young Uchiha matter-of-factly replies.

_How can she be so blind and selfish to think that everything revolves around her?_

The squad behind her takes a fighting stance. They are not here to discuss.

To them, Sasuke is a traitor and Itachi an unexpected creepy setback, another proof that he must be locked in jail forever. Their mission is to stop them before they harm the village.

To Sakura it's almost the same.

Except that for _her_ Sasuke is a traitor towards _her_ and Itachi an uncalled-for threat to _her_ happiness, and Konoha comes before _her_ husband but after _her_ marriage.

"I thought I…and Naruto…healed you from the darkness! How could you do something so…wrong?"

He doesn't bother replying that wrong is what they did to him. She wouldn't understand anyway.

"He's dead! And he's your brother!"

How unfitting of a shinobi, to shamelessly yell like she is doing, frustrated by his lack of reaction.

"He…that brother of yours is a monster!"

She finally made it, stirring a reaction out of him.

_Only it's not the reaction she hoped for. She should have known that Sasuke doesn't care about insults, unless they are directed to his brother._

He springs onward, Susano'o purple luminescence forming around him.

Itachi is faster. He stands between the two, blocking the younger with an arm.

_Shielding him, like he did against Kabuto._

"Don't, Sasuke. They are Konoha shinobi, just like you…"

_Sasuke can't help looking at Itachi's back again, while the elder is defending Konoha one more time._

_He doesn't understand how hard it is for his brother to not catch the two Anbu under his genjutsu and see if they are Sasuke's jailers._

"…and I."

Itachi's mention of himself is almost a whisper.

 _He doesn't want those shinobi to laugh at him, not because he cares about himself, but because he knows what Sasuke would do. His Susano'o is already coming to life; a bad choice, that not only will give them another reason to oppose them, but it will give_ _their location_ _away to the reinforcements who are undoubtedly arriving, for it's obvious that Konoha doesn't trust Sasuke._

_Itachi's apparent calm must reach his brother. His life and future are at stake._

_Tentatively he imagines it like a wave, leaving his heart to reach Sasuke's._ _Somehow it does._ _They really are connected, s_ _o much that from the deepest pit of his soul a desperate question arises: if their connection, if their love, is so strong, why is it so wrong to not break it?_

_It's only a moment of weakness though. Itachi can't forget that he is tainted in blood and darkness, that he will ruin Sasuke if he doesn't set him free._

Following Itachi's silent command Susano'o vanishes. Sasuke's pain remains, instead.

"Konoha, Konoha…Even now that you know _everything_ the damn village is still more important than me, uh?"

A monochord speech delivered by Shino Aburame interrupts his bitter musings and prevents the older Uchiha from replying.

"Uchiha Sasuke. Konoha has been investigating on your suspicious behaviour. Now that we've located you, you must follow us. Do not attempt anything strange. Back up teams are on their way."

Through the thick glass that covers his eyes the insect user stares at both Uchiha.

"The both of you, do not attempt to cast any genjutsu. It's useless. My insects are genetically modified to counter your chakra."

_While Sasuke was at the hospital they took samples of his blood and chakra._

_They studied him, achieving a remarkable result with genjutsu immune insects. It's a defense weapon though, not enough to_ _overpower a sharingan and Rinnegan wielder._ _Not even resorting to such abuse of power typical of Danzo's Root, a dirty measure that threw Konoha back to its shady past of wars and distrust instead of launching it to a future of peace and cooperation._

_That's why they manipulated him: they never trusted him. They only wanted to keep him in a cage, and they used Itachi, his ideals, his loyalty to the village to control Sasuke's mind._

Sasuke clenches his fists, not bothering letting Shino know he listened to his words.

"What will you do? Will you choose Konoha over me again, niisan?"

The bitter tone of the question twists the affectionate honorific into a mockery.

He's testing Itachi's loyalty in the most dangerous way, putting his own life on the line.

Itachi doesn't reply. He doesn't even turn around.

_He can't turn around: they are not alone and the situation is critical._

_He would let them take their hatred out on him; h_ _e would let them punish him and spare his brother, but they are connected. Any_ _blow inflicted with killing intent_ _would harm Sasuke too._

* * *

"Sasuke is not a threat to Konoha."

_A lie. Itachi feels the hate harboring in Sasuke's heart, towards the memorial of the unfair death of his loved ones, towards its people who shattered his dreams._

"He felt like a stranger in his own village, that he bravely defended during the war. He wanted peace just like you. He wanted to be of help, he wanted to work with his comrades and fellow citizens to reform the system. He made amends and proved his loyalty, but he felt misunderstood and discarded by the new course of things."

 _Don't appeal to their minds, where there are their rules and laws that would inevitably condemn Sasuke._ _Appeal to their hearts where they might find a sparkle of empathy and of understanding towards his brother._

_Although changed, deep inside the Seventh Hokage Uzumaki Naruto is still the same, Itachi knows it from Sasuke's memories._

_The motivation that has always moved him is the need to be acknowledged by everyone, since he was ignored in the past. He would never decide anything that would make him unpopular in the eyes of his friends and villagers, so if Sasuke gained a few sympathizers he would surely handle the situation in a more favorable manner._

"He thought he needed a...familiar presence in his life. When people are discriminated they end up withdrawing to protect themselves, thus there is no more communication, the differences seem too many and it becomes harder to find a common ground, even if deep down inside they all have the same needs and wishes."

_Itachi can't shame Sasuke for loving him, a traitor, a killer. Yet he must minimize his feelings to avoid these shinobi's judgement._

_His brother has been hurt too much already, he won't let anyone do it anymore._

_Even if he has to hurt him instead, speaking words_ _that pierce his heart and put salt in his open, bleeding wound, dismissing his feelings, ignoring any mutuality._

_It's necessary to do so, because he's dead and must leave the world of the living, while Sasuke is alive and needs people around, even though it's this sort of people._

Itachi speaks with a deep, low voice.

"Deep down inside some of you might have experienced a similar feeling. Unexpectedly peace doesn't appease you. It makes you feel frustrated instead…"

_Appeal to their own problems, for they will not acknowledge Sasuke's. They never did._

The Inuzuka shifts his gaze for a moment.

_He wanted to become the strongest of his clan. He wanted to become Hokage but the village only appreciated his tracking skills and his dogs training ability. Nevertheless, like his former teammate he never stopped improving. He used to train with Shino in the Inuzuka training grounds, so that Akamaru, old and blind, could keep them company._

_He refused to take another dog after his most precious comrade passed away._

The shinobi shakes his head to dismiss the dangerous trail of thoughts and retorts:

"Stop talking, Uchiha! Let me see what you can do without your dirty tricks!"

He's taken aback by Sakura's sudden move: she lashes at Itachi with the rage of a jealous child against someone who stole her favorite toy.

The older Uchiha promptly knocks her out with a hit at the back of her neck. With a fluid movement he lowers her on the ground, grabbing the kunai that she lost, and the others in her pouch.

He looks sideways. Sasuke is two steps behind, the afternoon sunlight coming through the tree painting his pale face and chest with a faint warm tint, cherry blossom petals tangled in his unruly hair, his expression sneering and pained at the same time, his look distant.

Just a few moments ago he was ready to charge their opponents with Susano'o.

Now he is lost in his own thoughts, again, just like he used to.

_He's lost in his suffocating nightmares, caught between life in Konoha, with its miserable people wanting to swallow him, and his brother abandoning him again._

_He dies for lack of air in both._

"Let them take me, brother."

His voice is broken but it's only an instant. All hesitation disappears in Sasuke when he stretches his arms wide open for everybody to see, and screams with all his might:

"You idiots, come and get me, I won't fight back!"

_Sasuke's mouth says one thing. His eyes tell Itachi another one._

_Don't let them take me, niisan..._

Both Anbu leap towards him, but Itachi shields him.

"Sasuke! Your life, your future are at stake. Is this what you want?"

He asks, rejecting their attack.

"This is what _you_ want, niisan."

Sasuke replies bitterly, not even bothering to deflect the backlashes of what the older blocks.

_He doesn't understand that Itachi doesn't wish anything for himself, he only wants him to be free and safe and alive._

Shino's insects enclose him in their lethal cage, he disappears in a flock of crows and reappears doubled, his clone countering Kiba's attacks as well as the Anbu.

Even if his trademark fighting techniques are long range he has always been good at hand to hand combat.

_Even if he always hated fighting he has always been good at it. To him it's just a ma_

_tter of predicting his opponents' moves, and reading others has always been easy for him. Maybe because for him it has always been easier to focus on the others and forget about himself._

The shinobi attack relentlessly from all directions.

If he used Susano'o to protect Sasuke its chakra would pinpoint their position, making sensor nin's job easier, so he uses katon to push them back, then Amaterasu to create a barrier.

This will buy him some time; Sasuke is broken and he has to fix him.

_Sasuke is broken because of him. Again._

"I love you, Sasuke. Since the day you were born…since the moment I first looked at you, my heart belonged to you. It still does, even if I am no longer supposed to be here, in this world…with you."

A sparkle brightens Sasuke's lost expression but it only lasts an instant. Like many times already, he waits for him brother to say or do something and when nothing happens, his eyes –pained, deep, completely at Itachi's mercy –transfix his brother's, like his words.

"My life, my future…nothing exists without you. When you weren't with me I just wanted to die, so I could be with you again, far away from Konoha, from everything, but I couldn't kill myself because you sacrificed yourself for me. I couldn't die I didn't want to live either. In fact I wasn't living. I was just surviving. Until I decided to bring you back. The moment you opened your eyes, I felt like I was born again too."

Nothing he says matters though, as Itachi still wants to abandon him. Resigned, he sighs.

"Without you, I don't care about anything. They can do whatever they want with me."

Itachi knows Sasuke means everything he said, for he looked into his heart and felt his pain. Nevertheless, hearing him pronouncing those words is different.

It makes him want to protect him even more. Against everything and everyone.

* * *

He must have been hiding since before he activated Amaterasu.

Tenzo, or Yamato, as he's known outside Anbu, emerges from the ground, fast and precise, behind Sasuke.

_He's not backup; he wouldn't be alone otherwise._

_Judging from the retrieval squad's surprise they didn't know he was there._

_Realization dawns on Itachi: h_ _is mission is to kill Sasuke. His is the real mission. Retrieving him is just a decoy._

_Bringing him back was clearly Naruto's idea, unlike assassinating him. That came from the one who protects the village from the shadows of his former pupil._

_In reality Hatake Kakashi never left the Hokage seat. He just pretended to leave it to someone whose name was a synonym of hero, whose words had inspired many, and whose lack of competence, if left alone, would lead the village into chaos._

_Uzumaki Naruto isn't able to make difficult decisions. He wants people's approval too much to be an effective ruler. Kakashi knows it. Supported by Shikamaru Nara, he acts like a counselor, but he revises everything Naruto decides, acting behind his back when the situation calls for it. Like this one._

_From Kakashi's point of view Sasuke is a threat, just as the Uchiha clan was for his predecessor Danzo._

_As Sixth Hokage he used any means necessary to clip the hawk's wings and it worked, until, although broken and weakened, Sasuke became unpredictable again and_ _Naruto wouldn't be able to handle him._

_Not taking action could have resulted into anti Konoha propaganda, or worse. Only, this time he would put his innocent daughter in danger._

Tenzo blocks Sasuke's legs with his signature wood vines.

In an instant the kunai is ready to slash his brother's throat.

_Sasuke closes his eyes with a sad smile._

_At least, his brother will have the freedom he wanted._

* * *

The hand holding the weapon is the first to burn.

The man screams horribly but his agony doesn't last long.

Opening his eyes, Sasuke is taken aback by Itachi, resolutely approaching him.

"You want to know who I choose? I choose you, Sasuke."

_He would add that he always chose him, so much that he sacrificed a whole clan for him, but he can't add that guilt to his already heavy burden._

_It's enough for him to know that he chose him over Konoha, that_ _manipulated Sasuke, that put him in jail, that abused him, that made him feel guilty and worthless, instead of useful and loved, that tried to assassinate him._

_Just like they did to Shisui, a long time ago._

_Back then he had no other choice but to be loyal to them, even sacrificing his clan, for Sasuke to be spared._

_Even though after the massacre, after he ensured his brother's safety, he killed the one who had poisoned his cousin, the only one he could trust._

_Itachi was said to carry the Will of Fire. He loves the idea of the village created by Hashirama and Madara, Senju and Uchiha together, a place where everyone puts their differences aside and works_ _together_ _for peace. He knows enough history, politics and shady details to have a clear picture of how the world works, so_ _doesn't hate Konoha, as the abuse of a few shinobi can't qualify all of them as scam, and as its decisions took into consideration the needs of the many over the need of one person. Yet that person is his beloved brother, the one he swore to protect when he was just a toddler in a bundle of cloth._

_He always gave his loyalty to his brother, but this time he'll do it openly._

_No one touches his precious, beloved Sasuke._

Sasuke nods and prepares for battle –this is the Sasuke he knows, finally– but Itachi stops him again.

"Don't. Let me do it."

_Let me prevent you from staining your hands with the blood of your comrades._

_Sasuke must stay clean and pure, just like he has always been._

_Itachi is already a demon anyway, both in his own eyes and theirs._

_They never wanted to forgive him and he never wanted their forgiveness, for he took complete responsibility of every action._

The black flames disappear.

No matter how strong they are, Itachi is faster, smarter, more experienced, stronger.

No matter how many, Itachi slaughtered his clan almost all by himself.

The only merciful thing he can do is spare unnecessary pain to those who deserve it.

_Not the Anbu, who might have been Sasuke's jailers._

_Not Yamato, who was ordered to slice his brother's throat._

_Just like Sugaru deserved to suffer for having poisoned Shisui._

_Even moreso, because this is supposed to be a new world order, yet history is repeating itself._

* * *

Sasuke is entranced by the view of his brother's deadly beauty as the petals dance around him, hair crisscrossing his face, torso smeared with the blood of his opponents, taut muscles rippling at each movement.

His emotions are too strong to handle.

Finally Itachi has chosen him, and he's proving his love by getting rid of his enemies.

It doesn't take much for the older Uchiha to end them all.

Once again, he is turning his back on him, facing the bodies lying on the ground.

Sasuke is about to close the distance that separates them. He wants to touch him, a part of him fearing that this might not be real.

He is at an arm's reach when they hear her voice.

"Sasuke…oh no…Sasuke…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Compared to the previous chapters this is one of the few I almost haven't touched, for I felt these events, portrayal and dynamics deeply since the start, events and portrayal that resonate very much with eeliii, whose amazing art inspired me in many ways (and I'm flattered to say my writing inspired some of hers somehow, both for this fic and In The Dark. I strongly suggest to check her art out) and whose ideas on Itachi, SAsuke and Itasasu are so very similar too mine (so many spooky coincidences!) and whose Avenger Itachi AU made me extremely happy, not only because it's awesome but also because somehow it validated this chapter and the way I see Itachi.
> 
> I always had a problem with most Itachi portrayals, as he was either domineering in a smug, arrogant way, or incredibly passive towards Sasuke and Konoha. Itachi is a very complex character, and reducing him to an all powerful asshole or a martyr doesn't do him justice. His dark side is way deeper and more complicated that this. He's a soldier since he was a child, and he thinks and acts like one, putting his most important person's life, Sasuke's, before anything else, including Sasuke's mental sanity. He loved the clan although he considered their mindset limited, as he had a more global view of things, he disagreed with them, wanting them to open to Konoha. he loved Konoha but knew its flaws. He knew its origins and was loyal to the concept behind it, Hashirama and Madara's dream of a village without war, where children didn't get killed and so on. That's what he's loyal to, the idea behind the village, not its shitty leaders.
> 
> He knew Danzo was manipulating him yet he had no other choice, after Shisui had died, and he had no one to confide in. He became even more closed and started thinking he had to do everything on his own, being a genius and being always several steps ahead of everyone. He agreed to carry on the massacre because it was the only way to keep Sasuke alive, because he loves Sasuke more than anything else, as Obito himself says more than once.  
> He is not passive at all. He has always been assertive and dominant, when he wasn't weighed by the clan and Danzo forcing him to obey, and the way he behaved with Sasuke was always dominant. He even decided when and how to die…
> 
> About this chapter again, in this AU Itachi got to know what Konoha did to Sasuke, and after having hated himself for entrusting him to Naruto, he decides to have a more productive approach to help him. But when he faces them he must also face Sasuke's breakdown, so he tries to mediate between them, and he's ready to make Sasuke suffer again, if it means keeping him safe, because Itachi has a strong controlling side. He's a natural born leader, he's a genius, he always knows best, or so he thinks, since his strategies never take into account Sasuke's feelings. It's a dark characteristic that is very fascinating, how he protects Sasuke by hurting him, and how Sasuke is drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
> 
> Yamato's killing attempt and the realization of Kakashi's plan (ah Danzo-esque Kakashi!) unleash his dark potential, the idea that Sasuke could be killed is his trigger, even more so if the enemy is Konoha. Here's how he turns into a demon, sort of. Also with the Anbu, only because they might have been Sasuke's jailers. It's a very human reaction, and I think it's fitting for someone who sacrificed a whole clan for Sasuke to stay alive, and who threatened Danzo to spill Konoha's secrets thus causing a war, if he harmed Sasuke.
> 
> UPDATE 26 June 2017: I read from shilpv on tumblr and got Renamon15's confirmation that in the Itachi Shinden book Itachi activates Amaterasu against a Danzo's underling who had poisoned Shisui. And that as he burns him alive he watched him coldly, saying that this is for Shisui. I feel incredibly validated by this information because it means not only that Itachi loved Shisui very much, not only that Itachi is so very human, feeling hate for the one who hurt a precious person, but also that he isn't just a martyr who can't feel negative feelings like the need for revenge. It's weird how this information didn't become that popular, I guess it's because most Itachi fans like him as a martyr who submits to everyone, from Konoha to Sasuke. Everyone is free to like what they want but hey, let me gloat at them because my perception of him was right unlike theirs.
> 
> This makes him even more fascinating and it validates my headcanons and this fic, and this chapter, so much. If he did so for Shisui it means that for Sasuke, the one for whom he sacrificed everything, he would do even more. Also, I wrote the scene of him burning Yamato alive, not feeling guilty because he deserved it, way before I got to know this book detail, and I feel really validated, like I just said.


	8. Chapter 8

_"Disarm you with a smile_  
_And leave you like they left me here_  
 _To wither in denial" (Smashing Pumpkins, Disarm)_

* * *

Sakura is sitting not far from her comrade's dead bodies, tears flowing freely. She completely forgot that she's a shinobi and she is supposed to fight back, not to tremble in shock like a little girl.

Even if the opponent is stronger than her.

Even if her opponent is her husband.

Moreover, a medic must always check and try to do something, even when everyone is dead.

Not her, for when she is around Sasuke all the hard work she made in the past to become a strong shinobi and a great medic simply vanishes.

This time she doesn't scream her accusations. She doesn't ask what happened.

She sees Itachi covered in blood and that's enough.

She looks at Sasuke with the dejected expression he hates so much.

He never really hated her for personal reasons, not even when she tried to kill him, or when he tried to kill her. In his mind she was always grouped with everybody else as a part of Konoha, too insignificant to deserve more, just an annoyance to get rid of.

When they were in the same team she was weak and childish. She made fun of Naruto's loneliness, a feeling he knew all too well, and she often talked ill about her family, not understanding how lucky she was.

Now it's different.

He has personal reasons to hate her. She is the symbol of Konoha's punishment. The house they share is his new prison, and she knows it.

Sasuke walks steadily towards her. This time it will not be a genjutsu.

Their daughter will activate her sharingan for losing her.

Uchiha people grow strong through pain. Making her stronger is the only gift he has for that child born without love.

Once again Itachi stops him.

He lays his hand on the younger's. Faint blue light and the typical crackling sound do not thwart him.

He doesn't even flinch when the electricity of Chidori rushes through him at the contact.

The glance they exchange lasts only an instant.

There is no need to be inside his brother's subconscious to understand what his heart is trying to tell him.

There is no need to be inside Sasuke's soul to hear the silent screams that are ripping it to pieces.

_I tried, brother._

_I did what you wanted – what they said you wanted._

_I never wanted a wife. I never wanted a family._

_I wanted my family back, not a new one._

_I never wanted to repopulate the clan. I wanted to restore its honor._

_To cleanse its memory from Konoha's bloodstains._

_I never saw any future for me. I never cared about having one._

_I promised my body to Orochimaru because all I wanted was to become stronger, to have my revenge on you. To have you acknowledging my strength. To have you looking at me with fear and respect. To just see you again._

_What would have happened after didn't matter anyway._

_I never imagined a future in a world without you._

_I kept on living after you died –after I killed you –only to avenge you._

_Even if what I wanted more than anything was to see you again._

_I hate her. I hate them, brother._

_They're the embodiment of my chains._

_You feel guilty for keeping me away from Konoha, but even if I didn't bring you back I would have stayed outside the village anyway. I would have taken long missions, so not to come back for years._

_So not to see anyone._

_If I had stayed I might have killed them sooner or later, and I couldn't taint the Uchiha name –your name –with my actions._

_Please, don't look at me like that._

_Let me get this over with._

_Help me, niisan._

_Let my pain go away._

_Let my nightmare end._

* * *

Itachi moves past him until he reaches the woman. He kneels down and cleans his blood stained hand on the grass, then he touches Sakura's shoulder.

His gesture is gentle. His low voice is as enchanting as his mangekyou sharingan spinning before her.

"Haruno Sakura. Your team was assigned to the retrieval of Uchiha Sasuke on the suspicion of treason. When you found him he was fighting against three unknown enemies whose abilities were unclear. Their leader was interested in Sasuke and his research on the Ootsutsuki clan. He is probably one of them himself. Sasuke got to know about him; he was trying to keep him away from Konoha. He wanted this enemy to focus only on him and no one else. Your suspicions against him were unfounded. Your team stood no chance against the enemy's underlings. You are still alive because Sasuke protected you, mother of his child, with his life."

Sakura's eyes flicker from right to left again and again. She is living every single detail Itachi is saying. Everything will be engraved in her memory forever.

She sees her comrades falling like leaves under the unknown warriors that her husband kills in return.

She feels the fear when the unknown leader is almost on her, and the relief when Sasuke shields her.

She will repeat Itachi's words when she'll report the mission.

"Sasuke is dead. The enemy's powers would have let him escape and reach their even stronger overlord so Sasuke held him inside the flames of Amaterasu. He burned with the enemy, so that Konoha would have to face only one of them."

Sakura is completely at his mercy. She nods ever so slightly, eyes lost in the tragic vision of her husband burning alive.

A single tear streaks her cheek.

Itachi's tone becomes gentler, like the caress on her shoulder.

"Your mourning, Haruno Sakura, will soon be over.

You will understand your faults.

You will understand that you have never loved him. You loved the idea of love, without understanding it.

Love is not something you owe to another. Love is not something you earn. Love is not something you obtain with guilt-trips, tricks and lies."

_Sasuke need not know._

_There are certain topics women don't discuss with men, such as pregnancy._

_Itachi recalls an afternoon when he was cradling his little brother and Mikoto was having tea with her cousin Atsuko._

_They were talking about his mother's friend Uzumaki Kushina, whose baby was due in a month._

_Atsuko said that the Uzumaki clan was known for being resistant like cockroaches._

_Laughing she added that the red haired woman could have carried an Uchiha baby too, even if their bloodline limit made it impossible to successfully carry Uchiha clan genes outside the clan._

_The baby would have needed more chakra to grow and adjust to a non sharingan compatible mother._

_The Uzumaki clan had more chakra than anyone else. Their chakra was also very adaptable, especially on females._

_Naruto Uzumaki married a Hyuuga, the other clan with doujutsu, and their sons had no byakugan. This confirmed Atsuko's words. Uzumaki females were more suited than Uzumaki males for outbreeding._

_When Itachi looked through Sasuke's eyes he had his sharingan activated._

_Sasuke didn't. He never did, as everybody felt uncomfortable when he activated it in peaceful times, and he wanted to be accepted back then. He was willing to do what his brother wanted._

_Besides, he was too pure to think about anything of the sort._

_He didn't know much about conceiving a baby, an Uchiha baby nonetheless, alone as he was, with no knowledge of anything concerning their clan. He didn't know their mythology, their history, their traditions._

_He only knew about their power._

_Unlike him Itachi saw their daughter's chakra pattern._

_His insight on her mother filled in the blanks._

_Sakura was jealous of her friends who all got pregnant. She didn't notice that some children were born out of love, such as her former team mate Sai's, Chouji's or even Lee's, and some others were born out of obligation, such as Naruto's. She only saw that those she outwardly called friends, Ino and Hinata, had something more than her and she didn't want to lose to them._

_She wasn't born in a clan and she was no Uzumaki._

_It was impossible for her to carry an Uchiha child._

_She was a medic though. The topics women don't talk about with men are in medical records anyway._

_Naruto wasn't the only Uzumaki left, Sasuke's teammate was one too, even if the future Hokage didn't know it._

_Karin stayed in Konoha for a while. She was thoroughly examined, just as the others from team Taka, Sasuke included._

_Itachi saw Sasuke's, Sakura's and Uzumaki chakra in the little girl's chakra pattern._

_He saw Sasuke's memories._

_He knew he had completely fulfilled his husband's duty, as people call marital sex, only once, for lack of drive towards his wife._

_Despite his will to do what was expected of him he didn't want him to engage in such an intimate act with someone he didn't love._

_Someone he didn't even like. Someone he had accepted to marry as a punishment._

_The older remembered the younger declining Sakura's advances. He remembered him casting genjutsu on her so not to be bothered with something that disgusted him, the few times he was home._

_It was impossible that she got pregnant so easily and managed to give birth without recurring to Uzumaki chakra._

_She must have used so much of it that the child took after Karin more than her._

_Luckily for her the red haired sensor left Konoha with Orochimaru, otherwise she would have figured everything out._

_His daughter has been conceived in a test tube because her mother wanted to win a competition. Because Konoha needed another chain to tie him with._

_Sasuke need not know all of this._

Itachi's hand leaves her shoulder.

If he had less self control his feelings for her would be evident, instead his gesture is composed.

He doesn't let contempt cloud his vision because Sasuke's future is more important than everything else.

Besides, like he taught Kabuto, everyone needs a second chance, so they can understand their mistakes and fix them.

_Even the woman who wanted his brother like a little girl wants a beautiful doll._

"You will understand that love is sacrificing everything you have, even your life, for the sake of another.

Love is leaving them in someone else's care if it's for the best. Love is protecting them against everything and everyone. Even against yourself.

Love is creating a world for them to be safe."

* * *

Itachi gets up slowly.

"You will know love soon, Haruno Sakura, as it has always been at your side, protecting you from afar, hidden in the darkness. You and your daughter will be safe and loved.

Now stand up. Go meet the reinforcements."

Sakura stands up with shaky legs.

Like a sleep-walker her eyes are open but her look is void, even as she oversteps Sasuke, no longer seeing him.

She will soon be found. She will recover from the mangekyou induced vision in a day or two. She will have a breakdown, but she will be strong for her daughter's sake.

She will be fine.

She is free from her childhood obsession towards someone who would never care about her.

She will see how selfish and shallow she was, and she will be ashamed.

She will be grateful to all the friends who never abandoned her, despite herself.

She will look around and finally see the one who wanted her happiness since the first moment he met her, a young girl with silly dreams.

The one who always watched over her, risking his life for her.

The one who lied to make her feel safe, telling her that everything would be alright even if he knew it wouldn't.

The one who knew she wanted Sasuke and did everything in his power to make her wish come true.

Even if it meant destroying others in the process, no matter if they were his precious students, just like her. Even if it meant ripping out his heart from his chest and stepping on it.

The one who, knowing too well the pain and misery of growing up alone, would love and cherish her daughter just like his own.

The one who, having known what it's like to be ashamed of his family for no reason, would be happy around hers even if they are not powerful or important.

She will finally be able to give, not only to receive.

She will give her love to him.

She will bring warmth and light into a soul fallen into the darkness after staying too much in the shadows, to protect the village. To protect her.

Her love will prevent Kakashi Hatake to end up like Danzo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the ending came out many are into "uncle Itachi" but I think that if he saw Sasuke's canon family, which is not depicted as a happy family, he would not be happy. He wouldn't be a caring brother if he forced Sasuke into a family he doesn't love just to play uncle. He would be quite dense if he did not realize Sasuke's lack of happiness, and if he did realize he'd be selfish.
> 
> I hated mentioning Akamaru's death in the previous chapter, by the way. And writing Kiba's death. I like Kiba, in canon I like that he's paired with cat lady and they have tons of puppies and no kids. That's the best canon family~
> 
> I always liked rare pairings more than canon-ish ones. I shipped Kakashi with Sasuke as my first Naruto ship, but the war made me like Kakasaku a lot. All those hugs...and I think he really protected her since the start, more than Naruto (with whom he was indifferent, then indulgent) or Sasuke (with whom he was hard), I like the idea of them as a couple. Sakura needs someone who makes her grow up as a person, and I think that someone like Kakashi, who has seen so much in his life, is the perfect complement for someone who has always been shielded from the worst things. In short, they are a nice couple, he would make her happy. And mature, something she needs. My Kakashi has become more and more similar to Danzo, he needs to be saved from the darkness more than anyone, actually.
> 
>  
> 
> When I first published this fic, in 2015, I found hilarious that it had some common point with Gaiden. Every chapter I uploaded had some "validation" in Gaiden's following chapter. For this one it was Karin, and the whole drama about her being or not being sarada's mom (more like kishi baiting sasukarin fans).
> 
> Again, when I first published this fic, I was "accused" by "friends" in the anti fandom of not hating Sakura enough thus not bashing her and sasusaku enough...well...I'm sorry if there are hysterical fangirls who can't express their anger in a better way, because to me creativity is the best way to express one's feelings, not just about Itachi and Sasuke but everyone else. I hate sasusaku since I started reading Naruto, and I never liked Sakura that much, but I wanted my story and my disappointment to be well written and deep. To make the readers see and feel why I think it's horrible, not just yell at them about it.
> 
> From what I noticed in the reviews this story may have annoyed more than one reader. Those who wanted a post ending fic that explained the new situation didn't like the Itasasu parts because they just wanted a general fic. The Itasasu fans didn't care about other characters and the village and wanted smut. Some didn't like the way I write their relationship cause it's too dark and not healthy enough...
> 
> Well, sorry, but this is exactly what I wanted to write. I don't write detailed sex on purpose. I prefer focusing on the feelings, memories, and all the intangible things that are connected to sex, more than accurate details that I find gross. and the plot is...well, the plot. Itasasu and everything else.
> 
> Also, some old reviewer didn't like my style, they said that my writing is confusing...I was about to let this slide in this rewriting but I'm going to keep the original comment just in case.
> 
> I'm not a native English speaker, I'm aware I make mistakes, and I keep finding typos no matter how much I revise my stuff, but I don't consider my writing confusing.
> 
> I use an external narrator, I switch point of views because that's what an external narrator allows to do (in case some of you think that to switch pov you need to make separate paragraphs and specify which pov it is, which is really not the way you do it, I assure you).
> 
> The italic parts are thoughts, the rest is the regular story. I abuse on purpose of character's interior monologues, expanding them throughout the events and the actions. It's called stream of consciousness, ever heard of Virginia Woolf? Sure mine is not perfect and my narration is not the most linear but I want it to be this way. I imagine my story like scenes in a movie played at different speed: actions, dialogues at normal speed, thoughts and memories at a slower one. Like a camera first flying over the setting and telling an overview of it, then descending on the characters and showing their actions and dialogues, then zooming on one, then the other, describing their feelings and thoughts, then zooming out and starting all over again.
> 
> My style is how I want it to be. I use reiteration on purpose. I expand thoughts and stray from events on purpose. I focus on feelings and sensations more than acts during sex on purpose. I write violent/dub-con sex as a way to express certain feelings that words can't express on purpose. I don't like bdsm cause it's too structured and safe, I get bored with fluff. Not to sound arrogant but to me my way is the right way. Or I'd write different stuff, simple as that.


	9. Chapter 9

> _"I live for you but I'm not alive..." (Alice In Chains, Love Hate Love)_

 

Itachi insists on washing the blood off in the nearby river. He doesn't want to bring death into their home.

_Even if he is death incarnate._

Sasuke sits by the riverbed, sandals and shin guards off, toes brushing the cold water.

He watches his brother strip off his clothes and bathe without showing any sign of discomfort for the hostile temperature.

His gestures are minimal and deft. He must have done it many times.

_After every mission. He never showed Sasuke the blood, the wounds, the grim reality that was his life._

_Sasuke was too pure, he didn't have to see how dirty his hands and soul were._

_He did it after the massacre as well._

_When Sasuke passed out he cried all his tears, hugging him tight for the last time._

_Around them there was only death. Bodies everywhere. Below them, only blood. So much of it._

_Above them the moon, pale and cold like his face when he slew them all._

_He was supposed to meet the masked man but after seeing Sasuke's little frame tainted with the blood of their parents he went straight to the river._

_He thought he knew suffering. As a child he had witnessed fear and loss during the war. He had been a tool through all his life. He had seen his best friend commit suicide, trying to prevent this from happening, but it was nothing compared to what he felt that moment._

_It was nothing compared to what he would feel from that moment on._

_Itachi kept telling himself that there was no other option, that if he hadn't done it the blood on Sasuke's body would have been his own, because his little brother would have been killed first._

_Instead, Sasuke would be alive and safe in the village, knowing nothing of discrimination and hate._

_He would keep watching over his brother so that nothing happened to him, his will of fire not hiding reality from him, for he knew human nature and he knew how low humans could fall no matter how noble their ideals were._

_His loyalty wasn't blind –his brother would understand it years later, the moment he slew a team of Konoha shinobi to protect him._

_Waking up in a hospital bedroom Sasuke didn't imagine that his clothes were bloodstained because Itachi held him close to his chest._

_In his state of unconsciousness he hadn't heard his older brother sobbing, asking for forgiveness, telling him that even he wouldn't be there anymore his heart would always be with him._

_He didn't hear him saying how painful it would be to miss all his important moments. That he regretted not spending more time with him. That he was so busy that he never got the chance to say that his arm should be steadier when throwing shuriken._

_He would learn though; Itachi knew Sasuke would become a great shinobi. Hate would motivate him._

_Sasuke didn't feel neither salty tears on his cheeks nor his last words:_

" _The next time you'll see me you will kill me. I'm looking forward to seeing you."_

_Itachi wanted to die by his hands. His death would give Sasuke a new power._

_His death would give his life a purpose._

_Sasuke would purify him then._

" _I love you, little brother."_

_There was blood everywhere on his clothes according to those who found him and took him to the hospital, while their leader, Danzo, was facing Itachi's clone threatening to spill classified information if something was to happen to him, just before disappearing in a flock of crows._

* * *

Itachi comes out of the water, droplets falling from his hair to his taut body. He has goose bumps; the breeze has become colder in the blue-gray dusk.

He dries himself off with his shirt.

The lightest contact between skin and the fabric, crusted with blood.

_He slit their throats. A quick and silent killing, not a clean one._

_As if killing could ever be a clean act._

_Besides, he only made sure that the Inuzuka and the Aburame died instantly._

He is perfect, Sasuke thinks while getting up, he is the most beautiful creature that has ever existed.

Even when he was fighting. Especially when he was fighting, and was drenched in blood, because he looked ethereal like a supernatural creature above good and evil.

_A deity who said he belongs to him. Did he really mean it?_

For the first time since they are alone Itachi looks at Sasuke.

_How could he look at him after having killed people again, after having willingly made two of them to suffer only because they wore Anbu gear thus they might have been Sasuke's jailers?_

_Sasuke's troubles are his fault._

_If he had followed his plan of using Izanami on him, without succumbing to the temptation to have his brother for himself, no shinobi would have been ordered to kill his brother and no shinobi would have been killed because of that._

_If he had entrusted him to the right person Sasuke would have never wanted to bring him back from the dead._

_If he hadn't failed to protect him from the truth, from himself, from everyone else, the boy would have been safe._

_Yet he can't change the past, and he can't overlook that if he had stayed dead Sasuke would have been endlessly forced to be someone else, alone among people who didn't care about him, who abused and manipulated him, who were only interested in him as a tool, to just toss around and dispose of when broken._

_He accepted to carry on the massacre of their clan, to join Akatsuki and live separated from him so that he would never have the same fate that he had._

_He tried to get them to understand his brother instead of fighting him, he tried to break the vicious circle of underlying hostility towards the only survivor of the Uchiha clan, he tried to act peacefully so that Sasuke's name wouldn't be associated to violence, he tried to be a role model because his brother only looked up to him._

_He failed though, and instead of protecting him he put him in a bigger danger._

There's blood on Sasuke's ankle, probably caused by Tenzo's vine blocking his feet.

_Itachi feels the rush of adrenaline again, the panic of the moment the kunai was close, so close, too close to his brother's throat._

_That was the first time he activated Amaterasu on instinct._

_That moment his mind, heart and body screamed that no one were to touch his precious brother._

_It didn't matter if they were from Konoha or not, no one were to touch his precious brother._

_Even if he didn't want to kill anymore, for he was a dead man who had killed too many people already._

_Nothing was more important than protecting Sasuke though. His brother's safety was more important than the lives of their clan and the secrets of their village, it's certainly more important than the lives of a bunch of shinobi._

Itachi kneels before his brother to assess the wound. He rips off the cleanest strip of fabric from his shirt and wraps it over the younger's ankle.

"Are you hurt somewhere else?" He asks flatly.

Absentmindedly the other shakes his head. He doesn't care about a stupid wound.

He only cares about his beautiful older brother kneeling before him.

_A deity who got rid of his enemies for him._

_The very thought that he truly is more important than the village is exhilarating, together with the adrenaline of a fight that happened all around him, without him taking part in it._

He tangles his fingers into Itachi's long hair, urged by the need to have a proof of his brother's words of loyalty and belonging more than the need for release.

_Once Itachi told him that having sex with the loved one is an almost mystical experience, where both bodies and souls unite and become one._

The other brushes his lips against Sasuke's clothed manhood.

The faint contact makes Sasuke's skin burn with desire. He reaches the buttons but Itachi stops him with the quickest motion.

_So quick Sasuke didn't see the movement._

He gets up slowly, gracefully, dismissing Sasuke's push as if he had the force of a child.

_Sasuke suddenly remembers the times when Itachi carried him on his back after training together. He always treated him like a little boy who needed help, no matter how good his academy grades were, and how better he was compared to his classmates._

_Nothing was enough to reach his perfect older brother._

He places his palm on his forehead; not a poke, just a light touch.

"You don't have a fever. It means the vine was not poisoned. Let's head home."

Irritated, Sasuke pulls him closer by his arm and hip.

"I want you now, brother."

His eyes flicker from his brother's perfect features to his legs. The fabric of his pants is red with the traces of the previous events, unlike his bare upper body, thoroughly scraped of every drop of blood he shed.

_He's not afraid of being haunted by new ghosts._

_He's scared of how easy it was for him to kill those people._

_He's frightened of how easy it was for him to spill the blood and cause the pain of the one who attempted to kill Sasuke, and those who might have guarded his brother's cell and taken part in his abuse._

"We have things to discuss, Sasuke. Let's go back."

Itachi pushes slightly against him, to make his point clear. Sasuke raises his voice.

"I am disgusting to you because I betrayed the village, isn't it?"

_His look is angry and hurt and confused. His brother freed him, defending him against the village he loved. He said that he chose him, but maybe it was a difficult choice, he thinks, dejected._

Itachi shakes his head at his brother's words.

"Konoha betrayed you first. As a consequence you brought me back. Your absence made your comrades suspicious and the situation got out of hand so I ended them. There was no other choice."

He states the logical course of events without emotion.

_He has been trained to kill, to be emotionless on the battlefield and on mission, a perfect tool, since he was a child, yet when he killed Yamato and those Anbu he was neither emotionless nor a perfect shinobi, as he caused them unnecessary suffering._

_It's Sasuke who should be disgusted of him: he is tainted with blood. He is death._

Sasuke reiterates his will.

"I want you, Itachi. I want _this_ you, right here, right now."

"You want a killer...a monster."

Itachi states matter-of-factly.

"You killed to protect me...like...back then."

Itachi is touched by these words, that show how Sasuke is truly a pure person. Still, he knows better.

"A killer is still a killer."

_Itachi knows that Sasuke doesn't want pleasure now. His look is the same as when, in an almost trance-like state, he would touch without well knowing what to do, and once Itachi stopped him he would resort to beating him up, and Itachi let him do it, thinking that he needed to feel he had power over the brother he chased after for years, and over the merciless monster that slew both his enemies and his family._

_Every time Sasuke acted violently he would stop for an instant and look at him in expectation and when Itachi didn't do anything but humor him, he continued._

_Now it's the same._

Sasuke brings the elder's hand to his mouth, kissing its palm first, then licking his fingers. When Itachi slides them away from his hot, wet lips, apparently indifferent to the effect the alluring gesture, the boy has that broken yet defiant look, as he waits a brief moment, staring at him, before charging a raging fist.

_For the first time the Uchiha prodigy feels that he was wrong humouring him, that he failed his duty as an older brother, not properly leading, under the pretense that the boy needed to feel in control over him, beating him up a few times. That instead of making him stronger and confident of his own strength he made him weaker, like a spoiled child._

_Besides he had always known it. Every time Sasuke paused and looked at him, he expected Itachi to make him stop and take the lead._

* * *

Itachi stops the punch easily.

"You don't realize…"

A shiver runs through the young Uchiha's spine. Itachi's look is the same as _that night_.

He leans towards Sasuke..

"You should be careful for what you wish for, lest it come true."

His enchanting and frightful voice too is the same as _that night_ , but this time he purrs into his ear, hot breath burning Sasuke's skin, his nose brushing his brother's cheek as he traces small circles before reaching the younger's lips, capturing him in a long, deep kiss.

He has never kissed him with such dominance. The younger has no other choice but to drown in the slow, unrelenting pace, so different from his own, frantic and desperate like his heart.

_Sasuke doesn't need to let out his anger occasionally throwing a few punches at him to feel in power._

_He needs freedom from the circle of pain and violence where Itachi threw him, and the only way to release him is to make him aware of his own power, not humouring him, but fighting for real._

Itachi stops abruptly.

"Are you sure you want a merciless killer, Sasuke?"

_A merciless killer doesn't take orders, or even give them. He takes what he wants and leaves a trail of destruction in its wake._

* * *

He steps back, gesturing his brother to fight, not taking a fighting stance instead, as if he knows he's not going to need it.

It takes a few instants for Sasuke to react after his passionate kiss, but he doesn't hesitate. He likes sparring with him. Defiant, he comes at the elder with full force. He's fast, but not enough. Itachi predicts all his moves, he always does.

It's easy for him to avoid the younger's blows, grabbing his fist and yanking his arm, unbalancing him. When Sasuke reacts he sends him flying on the ground.

_While he's lifted by the arm as if he were a small child, Sasuke realizes once again how strong Itachi is. He just witnessed his strength against Konoha shinobi but now that it's directed at him it's even more impressive._

Before Sasuke gets up Itachi is on him, pinning his arms above his head, his look fixed on his brother's.

"This is not a joke. Do you still want the killer, Sasuke?"

Sasuke replies by arching his back to brush Itachi's body.

With his free hand Itachi caresses Sasuke's bare torso. His hand wanders from his pale, toned chest to his hard nipples, that he squeezes and torments.

"Foolish little brother…"

His fingers ghost over his abdomen, feeling his muscles twitch in anticipation.

No matter how hard they may be, they are defenseless against Itachi's fist slamming deep into his stomach. His mouth open like a fish, Sasuke struggles for air but it's useless because the pressure doesn't decrease.

"As you wish, little brother..."

Itachi says darkly.

_It's Itachi's turn to stop an instant and wait now. You can stop the killer anytime, his eyes say, but his silent command brings back memories of the time Itachi hit him in the same way._

_The elder can't forget about that moment either: back then he couldn't risk blowing up his cover but his desire to touch him was devouring him so much that he kept hitting him because it the only thing he could do, until his fist lingered too long on the younger's body, in a twisted caress, or a mocking replacement for penetration, as Kisame remarked after._

_He made sure that his partner never spoke about his little brother that way._

_Especially because he was right: as much as he hated himself for what he was doing to his brother, a small, dark, shameful part of him craved him. As much as he was dying inside while his fist slammed against Sasuke's stomach once, twice, three times, the last one with such strength to lift him up, a part of him felt an unthinkable, unforgivable desire. As much as his mind kept justifying the way he gripped the boy's throat and forced his weight on the younger's injured body as necessary for Sasuke to hate him more, a part of him was dangerously aroused as he whispered in Sasuke's ear and breathed his very air._

He bites Sasuke's neck hard enough to draw blood. The younger moans and gasps when he licks it.

Timing is vital for a shinobi. An instant is the only thing that stands between life and death.

Sasuke could throw him on the ground when he performs a seal with his free hand. He does nothing instead, even when black stripes crawl over his arms, paralyzing them.

Itachi knows that he encountered that jutsu before; it's the one released when he was fueled by hatred and the will to avenge him against Danzo.

Getting free from the one he loves is a different matter though.

_Sasuke tugs at the invisible chains almost mechanically. He wants him, despite the obvious discomfort and pain, and Itachi blames himself because his brother accepts violence as if it's normal, and he blames Konoha for having inflicted even more violence on him instead of helping him heal from his corrupt influence, and making him understand his full potential._

_There is no book where his brother can study his acquired Rinnegan with the same accuracy as when he studied snakes and Edo Tensei. There is no one who can teach him either. He can only master it directly. He is smart, he already used it._

_The elder wants him to use it again and realize the full extent of his potential, so that nothing will upset him anymore, so that he'll be able to get back on his feet and get rid of his dead brother and his past and move on._

_To do so Itachi intends to push him into a corner, so that Sasuke will use his power against him._

_To do so, Itachi intends to push all of his buttons. Again._

Itachi's tongue plunges into the younger's mouth just as his fist plunges into his stomach again.

_Sasuke could bite his tongue and hit him in the head._

_Instead he moans in his mouth, not caring if his breath is short and labored and his insides are being crushed._

He sighs almost inaudibly when he lets his brother breathe.

"Not even a genin would focus on himself instead of his opponents. You are a disappointment."

He can feel Sasuke's arousal pushing towards his groin. He grinds against it, crushing the younger under his weight.

_How despicable of him to be turned on by the sight of his stunningly attractive brother struggling for breath, confused by his actions, hurt by his words, wide eyes and lips swollen from the hard kisses, incapable of discerning pleasure from pain, so self destructively full of love and desire for him that everything else is irrelevant. Even his own safety._

_Somehow, Itachi understands him. During their fight he accepted each blow, each wound with the utmost love, seeing the satisfaction in the other's eyes. He did the same once revived, hoping that it would be enough, but he was wrong._

Itachi repeats the previous seals.

Everybody knows that chakra is weaker right before activating a jutsu, when it's only focused on it and not on anything else. It's the perfect opening to push him away but Sasuke is mesmerized, unable to think straight, overwhelmed by anticipation and fear and craving of being dominated by _this_ Itachi.

_He's different from the Itachi who reassured Sasuke that he would never punish him, as he first took him. His brother's look is dark and dangerous and so similar to the Itachi he met at the inn, and because of that Sasuke knows he should fight back but he can't, because a voice inside his head tells him that Itachi is too strong, the strongest and most perfect shinobi and even though he always fought back against everyone, he can't fight him back._

_He can only submit._

_He only wants to submit anyway._

_He only wants his brother to guide him anyway._

Sasuke gasps loudly as black stripes appear on his throat, like an invisible hand strangling him.

_Nevertheless Itachi is giving him time to react, trying to lure his real strength out using fear and intimidation and scorn, just like he did in the past._

"You want to be seen as a strong shinobi but you only proved how weak you are. You are nothing but a scared child, hiding behind a mask of arrogance."

Darkness clouds Sasuke's look. He received a hard blow, but his body takes over his feelings, making the killer smirk dangerously. He arches towards him, whose lips roam through his abused abdomen, whose tongue dives into his navel while his hand travel south, unfastening his pants.

Sasuke's lust filled moans don't last long because the merciless killer speaks again, in a tone that's cold and eerily seductive at the same time.

_Like a deity playing with a lowly human._

"You lack strategic ability, little brother. Every jutsu has a weakness. Every strategy can be counteracted. I knew exactly what to do, if only you calmed down and followed my lead…"

His words are a poison that affect his system despite the lust flooding it.

Their eyes locked, Itachi pumps Sasuke's throbbing member, up and down, up and down, slow and steady then faster, faster, until the younger comes with a strangled cry, pearly seed spilling on the elder's hand.

* * *

The pale Uchiha tries to regain composure, to get a hold of his strained tone but it's almost impossible to even his breath with a clasped throat and a racing heart.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

_Hiding the hurt and the fear behind a mask of arrogance._

"The insects."

Says the elder as if he's stating the obvious. With the same attitude he unfastens his pants.

"The insects were the key to disable them. The Aburame shinobi should have been the first one to deal with."

Sasuke can't hide his surprise.

He looks at his brother's hard length and marvels at his incredible mastery of himself: his face is as emotionless as his voice, even when he spreads Sasuke's legs open, testing his flexibility, playing with him as if he were a toy, his muscular arms and torso twitching at his movements.

_He's not playing; he's biding time for him to react, but Sasuke is deaf to his silent pleas for him to acknowledge his strong chakra and the godlike power granted by the Rinnegan._

_He could free himself from the paralyzing jutsu. He should understand that he is capable of anything he wants._

_Yet Sasuke only sees how perfect and strong and aroused Itachi is, and he doesn't care if he is going to be hurt because he welcomes everything coming from the one he loves, because the only thing that really hurts is his absence, his indifference, like when Itachi said he wasn't even worth killing._

_Sasuke always wanted Itachi to pay attention to him; to look at him, to touch him._

_Caress or punch it didn't matter._

_Caress or punch it doesn't matter._

* * *

Itachi's fingers are sleek as they scissor him.

"You have the ability to travel through dimensions. If you brought the Aburame with you the insects would have lost their connection to their master. Not sensing him anymore they would have been disoriented and no longer able to counteract our chakra. My genjutsu would have been effective against the whole team, while you would have incapacitated the insect user."

Sasuke can't suppress a muffled scream when he is roughly penetrated.

_His brother was born to dominate. He was a natural leader, it was obvious during the fight against Kabuto and the one that just ended. He would have been the clan leader._

_Sasuke would have helped him with clan matters. He would have followed him, just like he followed his lead against Kabuto. It was natural to do so._

_It is natural to do so. Letting the other do what he wants, submitting to each and every one of his desires, it's almost mystical, like being the offering to a deity, and the more Itachi becomes stronger -and his words more cruel- the more Sasuke submits, revelling in his strength, thinking that he would let his brother do anything to him._

"No blood would have been spilled. They would have come back to Konoha, alive, with the memories I would have given them. And you would be safe, no longer bound to them."

Itachi stays still, inside him, letting him adjust to his intrusion, silently fighting against the lust and the rage and the pain that are threatening to explode and turn him into the merciless beast he's pretending to be in order to push Sasuke to react and use his true potential.

"Those deaths could have been avoided. All of them. But it didn't happen."

When he starts moving his self control is already dwindling; behind the cold emotionless mask a spark of burning anger arises.

"With your ability you should have sensed Tenzo's presence long before he pointed a kunai at you."

Itachi's thrusts deeply into him, the fear of losing his little brother biting at him again, becoming a searing pain that makes the boy scream, just like the elder's soul screamed inwardly when he saw that kunai pointed at his throat."

_Sasuke can't see how his Itachi's hands are shaking, as he tries to shake that image off by thrusting deeper into him, as he tries to calm down by telling himself that during intercourse the target it's easier to strike a target because they're distracted, so his brother could free himself easily now, if only he realized it._

"You could have been killed...You would have let him kill you..."

Itachi's cock rams into Sasuke, fucking him hard as he accuses him of everything that went wrong, making him see stars from the pain, and a sick, twisted pleasure, enhanced by the lack of oxygen, so intense that he is hard again.

Besides, what hurts him the most are the cold reproaches, and Itachi's detached air, so far away from him, when they should be one.

By the time he comes and his brother allows himself the same _–A guttural moan, his eyes closed. When he opens them they're shiny with tears that refuse to fall–_ the merciless killer façade has cracked and Sasuke is aware of how bad the other feels.

_He thinks it's about the shinobi he had to kill, he doesn't understand that Itachi lost it when he saw Yamato's kunai pointed at his throat._

_He hasn't understood the purpose of what Itachi just did to him._

_The elder has failed again._

Sighing, Itachi releases the jutsu. The black markings disappear.

Sasuke props himself up on both elbows, coughing.

His brother is already standing, still far away from him even if his words are no longer blades that pierce his heart.

"You don't understand your immense potential. It's not your fault: you have been discouraged to use it because people feared you. Nevertheless it became your fault when you ignored it even being far from Konoha. It became my fault too, because I didn't encourage you enough."

Sasuke stands up feeling dizzy. Favoring his abdomen he reaches Itachi, to face him.

_Itachi doesn't want to look at him after having defiled him._

_He should have stopped when he realized that Sasuke was too pure, too loving to react against him, but he succumbed to his lower instincts._

_He told himself that he had to be rough to shake him but in truth he had no justification._

_He hurt his little brother. He tortured him. He took him with animalistic brutality. He released the jutsu in a last desperate attempt to let him react but it didn't happen and instead of stopping because his plan had failed he continued pounding him and sadistically playing with his breath._

"The power you have been granted makes you as strong as a god, Sasuke, and no one is a threat to a god, therefore a god does not need to kill. A god is free from the chains others placed on him. A god can use his power for good. To help, instead of destroying."

Sasuke looks at his brother, no longer menacing but distant, disappointed.

_He is disappointed of himself. Once again he failed to be a good role model._

_He failed to bring out his potential._

_He failed to protect Sasuke, from enemies and most of it all from himself and his twisted desire._

"Look at me. I was dead but you brought me back. You are a creator, not a destroyer. So don't ignore your real strength anymore."

Sasuke opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out, and his brother continues in an even tone.

"Do not doubt my loyalty, Sasuke. I am yours. I have always been yours."

Itachi starts walking.

"Once we'll get home I'll accept any punishment you see fit."

His words are those of a slave, his demeanor is that of a king.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the old version Itachi was less shrewd and felt more guilty for having killed those shinobi. I haven't changed this chapter much, I only sharpened his motivations, and focused on something I love about him, the length he'd go to keep Sasuke safe.
> 
> He sacrificed the whole clan for him, and I'm not saying he didn't feel guilty but surely his resolve was stronger than guilt. He always thought he was doing it for Sasuke so I think that because of that strong resolve he wasn't as broken as some portrayals of him (I don't mean to offend anyone actually, I'm just justifying my choices and my evolution of thought). The love for Sasuke made him stronger and braver.
> 
> Itachi is a complex character whose thought process is sometimes hard to grasp. He talks in riddles and acts thinking steps ahead of everyone, so his methods are often extreme...or questionable. It's part of the reason why he's so fascinating, his selfless personality has a selfish trait that controlled Sasuke and decided what was best for him, yet his selfishness was selfless in itself, as it was all about protecting Sasuke…
> 
> I just can't see Itachi as a martyr who lets Sasuke do whatever he wants with him because of guilt. Not after the fight against Kabuto, that made me see that he is a leader, a fighter, a dominant person used to be a captain, a genius and an older brother. And Sasuke who usually acts arrogant naturally followed him since he respects strength and he respects Itachi, the one he considers the strongest. He is the younger and he's ok being Itachi's second.
> 
> In this chapter Itachi is is angry at himself for not having been able to keep Sasuke safe, and calm, so he could have carried on his own plan. He is worried because Sasuke doesn't understand how strong he can be with the Rinnegan, and he decides to put him in a situation of danger where he has to use it, like the time he had Orochimaru come out of the cursed seal..kind of.
> 
> On top of that he has his dark side to deal with, the attraction he feels for Sasuke. And the guilt for having killed those people, not as much for the killing itself (he is a shinobi, he has killed people and he can't feel remorse for each other them) but because he didn't kill them in a shinobi-like way, that is without emotions or hate. Yamato was about to kill Sasuke and the Anbu might have been Sasuke's jailers. It's a personal thing for him. He would have kept it under control it Sasuke hadn't reacted that way, but once it happened he was triggered too.
> 
> So he acts like the Itachi that Sasuke thought he was before knowing the truth. The only flaw of his plan is that Sasuke doesn't perceive violence the same way Itachi would like him to perceive it and things don't go as he planned.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favourite chapter, the part I most loved writing.
> 
> Also, Eeliiii did an amazing Itasasu fanart quoting a line from this chapter. Her AU if different but the heartbreaking feelings are the same...And I was so lucky that not just her but also Minai28 and Renamon15 drew fanarts of it. So check all those arts out, you're going to love them~

 

> _"He said to lose my life or lose my love  
>  _ _That's the nightmare I've been running from"  
>  _ _(White Lies, To Lose My Life)_

 

How nostalgic for Sasuke to walk behind Itachi, watching his back and wishing to close the gap between them.

He hasn't reached him yet, neither in intelligence nor in strength.

He is still the kid staring in awe at his perfect older brother.

What Itachi said was true: keeping one's emotions under control was a basic ability that even genin had, while he had acted on instinct, not thinking at all.

That morning he was planning to take Itachi to the cherry blossom grove when he sensed the squad approaching, and he decided to wait for them to come right there.

He hoped that Naruto would have been there. He hoped that Itachi would have spoken to his former best friend who countless times used his name as a trap.

Sasuke wanted to prove him wrong once and for all.

It was childish and unbecoming for someone who had wanted to revolutionize the whole shinobi system and control it from the shadows for eternity, yet he needed to show him, who always mentioned his brother, that Itachi didn't want him to live a life he never wanted.

He thought that once he faced the truth about whom Sasuke loved and was loyal to, the Hokage would have understood. He didn't care about other people's approval, but for once, now that he had his beloved brother and soulmate beside him, he wanted to be understood and left in peace.

Maybe his former best friend wouldn't understand so he would fight him again, but he knew he would have won this time. Itachi and his freedom were at stake.

He should have known that the Seventh wouldn't have been there; he was always so busy that he only left Konoha for official meetings, even if he had brilliant minds such as Shikamaru as his right hand and Kakashi as his counselor.

He should have imagined that he didn't care about him at all, to the point of setting up a retrieval mission to arrest him. Or to kill him.

_Sasuke still ignores what Itachi understood, that it's Kakashi, not Naruto, who ordered Yamato's mission._

He should have realized that he was stronger than that bunch of useless shinobi, but when they disrespected Itachi all the pent up pain and anger blasted, clouding his reason.

Sasuke wanted to defend his brother from them. They were unworthy of talking or even of fighting him.

They used counter sharingan tricks obtained without his consent, by manipulating his obedience.

_So it was his fault that they were able to disrespect Itachi's strength._

Surrounded by enemies, incapacitated to use genjutsu, he wanted to destroy everything and everyone.

Then, when he thought his brother would have chosen Konoha again he wanted to be destroyed.

He felt relieved, proud, loved, when Itachi chose him.

For Sasuke those deaths were inevitable. It was either them _–his former wife included –_ or his freedom.

* * *

He would have never come up with Itachi's strategy even if he considered himself a capable planner.

He had started planning when he was just a child. He wanted to enter Konoha Military Police Force; Itachi had told him that only the strongest shinobi could deal with crimes committed by other shinobi.

He dreamed to become strong, make his father proud, work side by side with his big brother.

To make his dream come true he had trained and studied hard.

Back then he ignored that he would have ended up in the police anyway because the Uchiha clan couldn't do anything else.

Tobirama had given them what he considered to be an important task. He had hoped that their eyes would have given them a better insight on people, that their will to protect their loved ones would have been spread through the whole village, but despite his good intentions the clan had been discriminated whilst Konoha had begun considering them arrogant elitists.

His childhood plan had crumbled with the massacre.

He never showed his despair in front of others. He cried and screamed his weakness to the walls of his old house, to the empty streets, to the lake.

In the compound that had been his home he had formulated his second plan. To kill his brother and avenge the Uchiha.

He had trained and trained to become stronger. Nothing could have stopped him. Not his team mates, not his sensei, not the gap between his strength and Itachi's.

Not even the fear of what would happen once he gave his body to Orochimaru.

Everything would end with Itachi's death anyway, after that nothing would matter.

The truth about Itachi had wiped out his second plan.

Being told that everything his brother had done was to keep him alive, knowing the pain he had suffered, the sacrifices he had made for him, to the point of letting his foolish little brother have his revenge to give him a new power and prestige as a hero, had forced him back to a life that should have ended.

He _had to_ avenge Itachi and destroy Konoha, but meeting him had wrecked his third plan.

Like his brother had done when he was only a child, Sasuke had sought knowledge then; once obtained it he had decided to defend the loathed system from the enemy, then to destroy it and build a new one.

_They had told him that his revolution was crazy, that the subsequent killings would have been a criminal act but why? To build something new the old must be destroyed._

_Some deaths were inevitable if they wanted a new world. They would all have been sacrifices to a righteous future. They would all be offerings to his precious brother._

_Not unlike his clan had been a sacrifice to Konoha's safety and a sacrifice to the hateful elders._

He had no plan after the battle with Naruto, after the guilt trip, after everything happened _after_.

His life was meaningless, empty.

He had no purpose until he had come up with an ambitious idea. Reviving his brother.

When Itachi asked him about what his future projects he used to avoid replying.

Living together was already his future project. It was like a dream come true.

A dream that turned into Itachi's worst nightmare.

His brother hated violence. His strategy was flawless but the younger's emotional frenzy had forced him to react accordingly.

Despite having grown up his incompetence was much worse than when he had insisted to hunt the giant boar with Itachi. Back then the elder wanted to hurt the animal so that it would be scared and flee, but Sasuke had failed in his task and he had been forced to kill it.

Such a smart, caring, strong _–perfect –_ being like Itachi wasn't supposed to spend his whole existence fixing Sasuke's mess.

_Such a smart, caring, strong -perfect- big brother shouldn’t be wasting his life on his little brother._

* * *

When they arrive home Itachi doesn't speak nor come inside.

_He failed in handling Sasuke's crisis. He failed in being a role model._

_He let his violent side come out freely to save his brother but he had only disoriented the boy, then he used violence to let his Rinnegan come out but all he managed to do was confuse him more and hurt him again ._

_He has to speak with his brother, explain him, fix everything. Fix him._

_He will, soon. He just needs a little time alone._

Leaning against the window Sasuke watches him watching the stars.

They do it often; sitting in that very spot Itachi points at the constellations and recounts their legends.

Sasuke remembers some of them since their childhood. They had the same stargazing habit the few times there were no missions the day after.

Once he said that Kaguya came from another planet. Itachi replied that it was fascinating, that it meant that humanity descended from the stars as well.

Kaguya told him that he wasn't as smart as his brother. Sasuke didn't believe in gods but she was right about this.

Itachi is unique. He isn't.

He is just a failure who can't handle himself, who puts in danger the one he loves.

Outside, Itachi blames him of the same faults.

Inside, Sasuke smiles. He has an eerie look while his hands form a seal he hasn't used since the last time he left the cabin.

* * *

One of the first symptoms of Itachi's illness was feeling dizzy when he woke up.

That sensation is so ingrained in him that it takes a few moments to remember he is no longer ill _–he isn't even alive, technically._

Sasuke made sure his body was perfectly healthy.

Like every other Edo Tensei, his body and abilities were the same as when he died, only without such limitations as pain or sickness.

Being a great scientific mind and not just a fighter, Sasuke improved this jutsu _–he wanted his brother back, no matter how hard it was –_ so that he had no black sclera but a natural white one; so that he felt every bodily sensation.

Not just pain but pleasure, forgotten after years of constant pain, after an excessive training that had numbed him.

_He wasn't supposed to feel anything. He was supposed to be a tool._

His Edo Tensei body has no scars, not because Sasuke wouldn't love them _–he would love each and every single one –_ but because his brother ignored their existence or lack of.

On the contrary, he didn't ignore that people may grow even past 21 years.

His Edo Tensei body is a few inches taller.

_Their height difference is still the same as before._

Itachi has no time for speculating though. He has to wake up.

He and Sasuke must devise what to do.

Their cabin is sealed undetectable. His genjutsu was flawless and Sakura incredibly weak, there's no reason to fear that she will remember the truth.

_Her feelings for Sasuke were weak too. She will be surprised when she will experience how strong are the real ones._

Yet they can't stay here. Soon the news about Sasuke's and the squad's deaths will be disclosed in the village first then forwarded to the other villages, then the whole shinobi alliance will be alerted of an unknown threat.

It's safer for Sasuke to move.

* * *

Something bothers him. Something is different.

The thin ray of light that enters from the tightly shut curtains is not enough to understand the time.

Everything is dark, but his left side vision is even darker, and that eye stings.

It doesn't matter; he has to get up. Sasuke needs him more than ever.

_He has to explain him why he was so violent. He has to tell him that he wanted him to acknowledge his strength and stop him. That he didn't intend to go all the way but he succumbed to the urge to possess him, because his body submitting to him, accepting each and every one of his heavy touches and punches and bites with only a flicker of fear among a sea of trust in his eyes and a sensual moan in his mouth was so enticing that he was not able to control himself._

_He has to ask him forgiveness._

A warm weight is resting on his left shoulder.

_Why hasn't he already sensed it? Why is he feeling so light headed?_

Sasuke is right beside him, face buried behind his shoulder, arm wrapped around his waist.

_His little brother, always afraid that he might leave him alone._

After what he did he is still there, beside him. He doesn't deserve such a loving and pure soul, Itachi muses, raising his hand _–why is it so heavy –_ caressing his mane with infinite tenderness _–why does he feel so clumsy? –_ muttering gentle words _–why does his voice come out cranky and his throat is dry? –_ to wake him up.

He used to do it during their childhood, when Sasuke came to his room and watched him polish his weapons, only to fall asleep with his head in his lap.

Itachi had to wake him up but the little boy slept so peacefully that he didn't have the heart to insist and he had to carry him to his room still asleep in his arms.

* * *

Sasuke doesn't wake up. _Maybe it's too early._

Itachi feels weird. He must wash his face, drink some water, talk to Sasuke, plan the future.

He leaves the bed being careful not to wake his brother up.

_His brother who mumbles "niisan" in his sleep like he did when he was just a child._

He doesn't expect having to brace himself on the bed and wait for his legs to be sturdier.

He doesn't expect to stumble, his vision blurred, nausea getting stronger at each step towards the window.

He deeply inhales the fresh air as he opens the curtains.

It's not early in the morning. In fact it's afternoon.

And his left eye is bandaged.

He has no time to formulate a hypothesis. Sasuke is stirring.

"Niisan…"

The light must have woken him up.

"Niisan no! You can't be up yet."

Itachi doesn't fully understand his brother's words.

There's a dark stain on the bed.

Sasuke's left eye is haphazardly bandaged. The gauze is messy, blood has seeped through.

Under the red stains Sasuke looks pale.

* * *

The younger gets up carefully.

"The anesthetic wore off...you need to rest more, so I'll give you another one."

He leans on bed and furniture to move around.

_He seems used to it, Itachi can't help but notice, as the boy dissolves some medicine in a glass of water and handles it to him carefully, his face deathly pale, his hands slightly shaking._

Itachi would rush to check on Sasuke and ask for an explanation but the giddiness _–for what his body feels, for what he sees –_ is so strong that in order to not collapse on the ground he must stay still, mute, astounded.

Sasuke's voice is lower than usual, and more strained.

"I thought a lot about the things you said the other day."

_The other day; a vague statement implying that more than one day has passed since they encountered the retrieval squad. Since he behaved like a beast and damaged his brother, who spent the following days thinking about what he told and did to him, and suffering and acting desperate and reckless because of it._

"I told myself that I would bring you back because I wanted you to tell me what you wanted me to do with my life, but the truth was that I only wanted you back. I only wanted to live with you, to see you every day, just as I imagined it would have been."

_When Sasuke was a child he never imagined that sooner or later Itachi would have married some Uchiha woman, had children, lead the clan. That he too would have chosen a girl, worked, went on with his life. Such details didn't exist. In child Sasuke's mind only he and his precious brother existed._

_He hasn't changed much: in adult Sasuke's mind only he and his precious brother exist._

He takes Itachi by the hand, so gently that the contact is almost imperceptible, and guides him towards the mirror.

_Sasuke's face is bloodied but his hands, that handled Itachi's bandages and medicines, are perfectly clean._

"This time spent together…I have never been happier in my whole life. Even if I knew you had no choice but to stay with me because ending your life would have meant ending mine as well."

It's not the first time that Sasuke stands behind him in front of the mirror. He used to stare at his brother's reflection and touche him, getting more and more aroused at the sight. This time though, his fingers are delicate like feathers on crystal as he removes the bandages.

"I decided to give you something you never had, brother."

Itachi's eye is slightly reddened and swollen but other than that it's perfectly healthy.

_This feeling, familiar and foreign at the same time..._

Sasuke's only visible eye activates his sharingan.

Itachi's eyes automatically activate themselves too, but they're not what they used to be.

His left eye is purple, with a ripple pattern and six tomoe.

Sasuke gave his Rinnegan to Itachi.

He gave back to his brother one of his eyes that he had been transplanted after his death, enriched by an immense power.

"I decided to give you freedom."

_Itachi has never been free but neither has Sasuke, whose entire life has revolved around him, whether it was under dark hate or the light of love, like a planet orbiting around his sun._

"Now you can choose what to do with your life...or death."

Sasuke's fingers ghost over his back, as if he wanted to hug him but he held back.

"I can't force you to stay with me. Or to stay alive. Now you can release Edo Tensei."

The young Uchiha notices the elder's look. He inhales deeply and straightens his back.

"Don't worry about me. You freed me from Konoha. I'll be fine."

_His eyes say the opposite. He will wander, again. He will be free from a marriage without love, a village that exploited him and comrades that manipulated him, but he will be once more alone. Itachi never wanted such loneliness for him. He wanted him to be surrounded by friends and comrades, respected and cherished like he deserved._

Itachi musters his strength, focusing on his breathing and chakra flow. Once they're stabilized he speaks with a tired, cracked voice.

"Foolish little brother. Why?"

_Why giving him that power as well? He could have just released the jutsu to set him free._

_Itachi knows why. He has always been the only one who understood him, even when he pretended he didn't know what his pauses and looks meant._

His removed his own Rinnegan eye and implanted it in Itachi, using only one eye to perform such difficult operation, and only after he was sure that of its success he implanted the spare eye on himself.

The different level of care for the two operations is undeniable: Sasuke's better tolerance to the anesthetic means that he used less -or nothing- on himself than on Itachi so he could be able to operate and then monitor him. Itachi's gauze is pristine, meaning frequent changes, endless watches, utmost concern. Sasuke's is bloodied, unchanged since who knows how long. His hair, his clothes, his face, everything is a mess.

Everything but his hands, to take care of his beloved brother.

"That was your eye, brother. I just gave it back to you."

The younger Uchiha looks at him with a surprised expression, as if he didn't expect to be questioned. Or talked to.

_As if he expected Itachi to disappear without a word, once freed._

"I trained hard to become strong…to become like you. My powers, my abilities, are the ones I worked for. I never wanted this power."

_This was given to me during a war I fought only to save the village you loved, brother._

_This was given to me to protect the same corrupted system that I wanted to destroy to rebuild a better one, in memory of your sacrifice._

"Hashirama gave it to me because he had no other option. If you had been there he would have chosen you, not me."

_Sasuke felt so proud when the God of Shinobi said Itachi was amazing. Even when he told Itachi about that, his eyes shone with happiness._

"I am not a creator. I'll never be. I brought _you_ back because to me _you_ are the only one. I don't care about the rest of the world."

_The world could be burnt to ashes and I wouldn't care because you are the only one that matters._

"I am not a creator. I am a destroyer."

_An avenger._

_A missing-nin, a fugitive._

_A brother._

"You are smarter and wiser than me. You see the truth about everything and everyone. You see their potential, I only see annoyances. You gave Kabuto a second chance, I would have killed him. You are a better creator than I'll ever be."

_How ironic to be called creator when he is death incarnated, even if there is no trace of irony in Sasuke's words. His brother, so pure, so loving, really sees him as a perfect being despite what he did to him, as if it didn't matter._

Sasuke takes a step back. His reflection leaves the mirror. It's just one step but Itachi feels a sudden sense of emptiness.

_Sasuke feels the same way but he can't be close to his beloved brother, he can't feel his warmth, he can't have any physical contact with him or he won't be able to let him go._

"You want to know why I gave it to you? Because you deserve it. I don't."

He mutters. Itachi turns around to face him.

"And...I don't deserve you."

He slightly raises his voice, to sound like his eye is not hurting so much that he feels as if his skull is about to explode, to sound like his heart is not breaking in a thousand pieces at the thought of losing his brother.

_He has to act like an adult, he has to be mature and selfless like his perfect big brother, who chose to leave him in the village to grant him safety._

_He must set Itachi free. He can't force him to stay._

_He should thank him for the time they spent together._

_He played this moment in his head countless times, while he was watching over him, caressing his hair and whispering his love and his will to make him happy and proud at last._

_Why is it so hard to say farewell then? He already told him once, after the fight with Kabuto, and he was in indescribable pain as well but it was nothing compared to this moment._

_It's harder because they have lived together. They have loved each other openly and sincerely._

_He can't back down now; there is one more thing he must tell him._

_One thing and Itachi will be free._

_One thing and Sasuke will be alone._

Sasuke turns too fast for someone who is recovering from surgery. He must lean on the door frame so his spinning head and weak knees won't fail him.

"No matter what you'll choose to do…no matter what you'll do from now on. I will always love you."

_It's his turn to say the same words Itachi told him. The same words he cherished for so long._

The young Uchiha is about to leave the room when Itachi grabs his arm.

"You deserve everything, Sasuke."

Emotion cracks his voice. Without loosening his grip he turns his brother around.

He is a young adult now but to Itachi Sasuke is still his little brother, especially now that he is so, so pale and messy and helpless.

The boy stares at him for a moment _–his eye, a pit of desperation. The bandaged one, an endless pit of love –_ then he averts his gaze. Itachi gently lifts his chin and tilts his face up and towards him.

"I had no choice until you were born. The moment I saw you, so small, so helpless, so pure, I decided to protect you with my life. There is nothing I wouldn't have done to keep you alive and safe. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, Sasuke. You are the light of my life. You have always been."

_The moment Itachi saw Sasuke for the first time was an epiphany. Before, he thought that reality was harsh and sad, made of training, rules, silence, war, blood, pain. Then he saw him, a little bundle in Mikoto's arms, so small and yet able to make stern Fugaku look happy._

_He carefully approached his mother and father –he was always careful, as if he were to strike or be stricken, because that's what happened in war –and he saw him. A round puffy face, rosy cheeks, black hair._

_The portrait of innocence._

_Despite being aware that he was going to have a sibling, seeing him was more intense and meaningful than everything he had seen. His mere existence was the proof that there were wonderful things in life._

_Things worth fighting for. Things worth protecting. Things worth dying for._

_The toddler opened his big eyes and looked at him, lifting the tiniest hand and touching his face._

_That moment Itachi stopped being the emotionless killing machine the clan needed and Konoha wanted him to be, and became a protector._

_He became a brother._

A single tear falls from Sasuke's eye. Itachi wipes it gently, as he used to do when his little brother tried to walk but fell face first on the ground.

_His little brother, the one who chased him throughout all his life, who brought him back from the dead, who loves him to the point of harming himself, of letting the elder harm him and loving that pain, of giving up to a godlike power and give it to him._

_Itachi saw into Sasuke's heart; he knows how passionate and deep is his love for him, and how hard it is to let him go._

_He also knows that the young Uchiha's love is not just that. It's deep and faceted like a prism under the sun, radiating lights of different color. Clear blues as his admiration for him. Blood-red shades as the fear and anger and desire to kill him after the massacre. Susanoo's purple and Amaterasu's black as the wrath and urge to destroy everything and everyone that made Itachi suffer. Melancholic greens as the sadness and regret he felt when he remembered the long gone past. Bright golds as the determination to bring him back. Dark stains of jealousy that melt, like every color, into an all-embracing white, pure like Sasuke's soul, a clean slate that has been painted with sad gray colors for too long._

_A clean slate that is now white as the purest love._

_Sasuke doesn't even realize how selfless his act was; there was no need to give him his Rinnegan._

_He followed his feelings –feelings that no one else was lucky enough to receive but him–and gave Itachi a part of himself._

_Even if he already gave him his heart._

Itachi takes Sasuke inside the room. He lets him sit on the bed. Exhaustion and pain are too strong for him to listen while standing.

The elder kneels in front of him to remove his bandage. His voice is as soft as his movements.

"Our bond is not just the jutsu that tied your blood to mine. It is not just the eyes that passed from me to you and to me, again."

The gauze is hard to pull out because the blood has crusted.

Sasuke flinches slightly and Itachi moves slower. He caresses the younger's hair to distract him, before peeling away the last layer, the hardest.

"Our bond is not just our common Uchiha blood. All these are parts of our bond, but they're not our bond. Our bond is greater than its single parts. Our bond is the love that we share."

He gently squeezes the other's hands, looking at him with love, and care, and gratitude, not just for the Rinnegan but for everything else.

_For existing. For having been born. For having brought light and hope in his dark, sad world._

* * *

Itachi leaves for a moment, gesturing Sasuke to stay there.

He comes back with a basin and a piece of cloth. Kneeling again he cleans his brother's face with lukewarm water that becomes reddish from the blood. Sasuke's words come out naturally, naively, almost as a pouting, as if he were a child.

"I didn't want to be a god. You are perfect. You are a god, brother."

Itachi smiles. A sweet smile, a shy smile.

"I am far from perfect, Sasuke."

_You are, my sweet pure brother._

"I don't deserve the unconditional love and trust you put in me. Yet you gave me so much. You bestowed me your Rinnegan. You defied everything for me: the village, Madara, a goddess, even death. You loved me, as flawed as I am."

Itachi's tone becomes solemn.

"I will honor your gift, your trust, your love. I am yours. I have always been yours but now you have the ultimate proof. There is no jutsu tying me to you anymore, yet I will never leave you."

Sasuke is overwhelmed.

By fatigue and pain: he is used to discomfort and constant throbbing but his eye is so swollen that he can't open it properly.

By feelings, for he never expected Itachi to stay.

Itachi touches his brother's forehead then he brushes the agonizing area with the tip of his fingers. The younger groans; he is feverish from an infection caused by the poor after care.

The elder reassures him.

"I will do my best to use this power for good."

Red eye and one purple eye activate. Light chakra comes out from his fingertips, healing his precious one from the infection, soothing his agony, cherishing his battered heart.

He seems to have been born with that power. Sasuke looks at him in awe, just like when he was a child.

Itachi is really the one who deserved the Rinnegan. Not him.

* * *

After the healing process is over the older Uchiha handles the medicine to Sasuke, who stubbornly shakes his head.

"You refuse to obey, Sasuke? Have you forgotten how strong you made me?"

Itachi says, softly joking at his brother's antics.

_Sasuke gave up to a power that made him stronger than him. He gave him the lead on his very self, on his life, on their lives, just like he accepted to be led during the fight against Kabuto._

Despite his tiredness the younger smirks, swooping his bangs on his left eye to temporarily avoid sunlight. He opens his mouth slightly, revealing his white teeth and his pink tongue.

_A couple of months before he had flu; nothing that some medicine and a good sleep wouldn't cure, but Sasuke refused to take anything because a strong shinobi didn't need such useless luxuries. Therefore, Itachi took the pill and a little water in his mouth. Gently but firmly he pushed the sick boy against the wall and held his face, caressing his neck and jaw, nibbling at his lower lip. When the younger opened his mouth the elder passed him the medicine in the most sensual way._

Itachi takes a sip while tracing Sasuke's lips with his thumb.

Both brothers close their eyes as the liquid goes from mouth to mouth.

The younger, exhausted, tugs the elder's arm.

_If he weren't exhausted he would want his older brother, his strong older, to kiss him again, to lick and bite him, to ravage him, to mark his body just like he marked his soul, because he belongs to Itachi, he has always belonged to him._

_He doesn't separate pure and impure acts. Everything is sacred, coming from his godlike brother._

He doesn't resist when he is being laid down. The elder lies next to him, kissing his cheek and caressing him tenderly, coaxing him to rest and whispering:

"I will do anything to make you happy, Sasuke."

Sasuke mumbles, smiling lightly, before giving away to sleep:

"I just want my older brother."

He doesn't need to specify that he wants him as a lover too. And a friend, and a counselor, and a comrade.

Itachi knows the younger doesn't care about words and definitions.

To him they are brothers and they love each other.

Everything else is irrelevant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my opinion Sasuke is selfless, not possessive at all. I said it many times, but this is my way of showing it.
> 
> Some time ago I was writing a post war Itasasu/Sasuita fic where the system wasn't perfect and didn't treat Sasuke well, but he had his friends and comrades trying to defend him somehow...the fic that I'd later continue and publish under the name In Power We Entrust The Love Advocated.
> 
> Then the fight between Naruto and Sasuke started and I imagined that the ending would have done Sasuke absolutely no justice at all so I started writing a one shot where not getting justice and being forced he became slowly crazy, so that everyone shunned him, even the girls (in my ideas Sakura always moves on), until he was able to revive Itachi. It was a short dark fic and Sasuke was going to be really crazy in it, because of how desperate he was.
> 
> Then the ending came out and it was worse than I imagined, so I decided to write a longer, better fic. This one. I'm glad I changed my initial idea. And I'm glad I made it even better now.


	11. Chapter 11

_"Turn your life to happiness  
_ _Turn your tears from sorrow" (Ikon, In Trust I Return)_

* * *

The brothers' journey is long and unhurried.

_Arriving is not important. Travelling together is._

Time tiptoes fast. Or slow, they can't tell. Time is relative, just like space.

They could move faster if they wanted. Itachi could bend space, jump through dimensions, go anywhere, but there is no point in doing it, when the world is full of wonderful sights, smells, sounds, animals and plants, habits and foods they can experience and admire together.

Both of them travelled for most of their lives without seeing anything, for their eyes and hearts were not living in the here and now. They had goals to achieve, important goals, goals of hate, goals of love.

They can stop by and enjoy every sight, for this time they are not following someone or escaping, and they're not hiding their true selves.

When they're still in dangerous territory though, they use doujutsu to not be detected, same as what Itachi did to enter Konoha, walk its street at daylight and stop by a dango shop.

_And overhear Kakashi mention his little brother, hiding the strong feelings of regret and longing that clenched his heart behind a curtain of pragmatic thoughts:_ _Sasuke was alive, safe, he was being trained, he was being treated to eat by his sensei._ _It was the best he could have given him._ _It was the reason he had come back, to make sure Danzo hadn't forgotten his promise._

Not wanting Sasuke to consume all his chakra Itachi uses Rinnegan as well, although at the end of the day he is exhausted.

That's why they resort to transformation jutsu. Usually Itachi, whose features have been forgotten in this new world order, chooses not to change but he tells Sasuke to turn into a girl.

_The pouting young woman leaning on his arm is shorter and her body is softer. Somehow t_ _he elder is extremely protective of this embarrassed and grumpy Sasuke._

* * *

They learn to communicate using dialects and languages of the places they visit. They pick the basics through their sharingan, the rest is one of the many interesting experiences they share.

Despite being a private person, Itachi's people skills are surprising in Sasuke's eyes. They are not unexpected though, and not just because he is perfect in everything he does.

Even though he was strong and smart he was always polite and respectful, never arrogant or rude.

Not with Konoha elders who deserved nothing, not with fellow Akatsuki members, not with curious villagers and chatty eatery owners.

Unlike him, Sasuke never respected age or authority, only strength. He always hated talking to strangers and engaging in small talk. Sometimes he is a little jealous of Itachi patiently listening ear to old folks' endless stories, mothers complaining about their sons or daughters ranting about this and that.

Then he understands something: Team 7, Taka, even Orochimaru, they all talked to him. It was him who avoided them.

_His mind was full of future goals, his heart full of pain. Itachi was both._

_Itachi was the only one who mattered._

Itachi would have been a wonderful diplomat. Or a leader, strong and loved by his people. Instead he had been trained to be a shinobi, he had entered Anbu, he had become a rogue nin, he had acted like a villain among villains. Shunning others was his job. It meant safety.

_Not his safety but Konoha's, and most of it all, Sasuke's._

Thus Itachi likes being able to have conversations with strangers. Old people remind him of the grandmothers and grandfathers in their clan. Middle aged women remind him of their mother.

Normal people talking to him about petty matters remind him that he, too, is a human being, not a killing machine.

_Not anymore._

_Not in this life._

* * *

They spend the cold and rainy seasons in small inns or rented rooms, where often the landlady is a motherly woman who spoils them with delicious food and asks embarrassing questions.

_Sasuke replies with grunts at first then he opens up a little, almost engaging in the discussions his brother is always dragged into. He, too, is reminded of their mother._

During warm seasons they often sleep in the open, surrounded by trees, lulled by the burbling of a stream nearby, protected by the stars above.

Be it a cozy bedroom or a cave every place is comfortable. It's each other's company that makes everything special, new and familiar at the same time.

Every place is special in its own peculiar way.

For Itachi, experiencing war as a child, haunted by horrific memories, plagued by disease and blindness, it's a relief to be finally able to express admiration for the beauty of the world.

For Sasuke, whose only thoughts about beauty had occurred when he looked at his brother, for whom everywhere was sad and hostile, it's a strange feeling.

At times it overwhelms him, urging him to stop, his gaze fixed upon what catches his attention.

Itachi understands that the younger is embarrassed for those unknown emotions.

He approaches him with just a few words –once he quoted a piece of poetry he read in his past life: " _Then I reflect that all things happen, happen to one, precisely now. Century follows century, and things happen only in the present. There are countless men in the air, on land and at sea, and all that really happens happens to me"_ –and he is greeted by a shy childlike smile.

_He knows what it means: thank you for bringing me here._

_Thank you for not leaving me there._

_Thank you for not leaving me alone._

* * *

They don't bend space, yet they do bend time.

During their first life _–Sasuke refers to their past as first life, trying not to make Itachi suffer further with the memory –_ they had been robbed of their time together, and they were forced to live a sad, desperate existence. Itachi had to pretend to be a criminal, fight illness, wait for his brother to kill him and gain power and glory. Sasuke had to feed on hate and longing and despair, in an endless quest for his brother.

The younger Uchiha wanted that time back. That's why he asked Itachi to slow it down. Itachi complies, with the eye that Sasuke gave him it's easy. They don't keep track of time anyway, so why would it mark their faces and bodies with its signs?

That's why, when he revived Itachi, he made him taller, to keep their height difference the same as when he was alive.

_A minor detail that reveals a lot about Sasuke: h_ _e did not just want his brother back. He wanted him to look older, taller –stronger –than him, like he should have been if Konoha hadn't destroyed his life._

_To Itachi his stubborn devotion to his idea of perfection is endearing, like many other little things Sasuke does for him._

_Like insisting to try the local sweets even if he detests sweet food, only to have something more to share with him, or making sure he has extra blankets even if it's not cold and he is not sick._

_Not anymore. Not in this life._

* * *

Mentioning Konoha is inevitable.

Sasuke's grudge hasn't vanished yet _–it will never entirely do–_ but it's not as destructive as it used to be.

Talking about his past life, the one he had before joining Orochimaru or the one he had after, is only natural, it being a part of him.

He hardly ever thinks about that what happened after the war; he doesn't even want to imagine how his existence would have been if he hadn't brought Itachi back.

_The future he envisions without Itachi is a nightmare._

_He would have become a lonely bitter man._

_He would have stayed away from the Leaf as much as possible._

_He would have avoided a wife he didn't love, with whom the only connection was a child conceived as an obligation._

_Not able to pretend he loves his family and the village he would have done his duty, guilt the only reason to keep him there. And honor, for he would have done it for Itachi._

_With an absent father and a frustrated mother his daughter would have felt insecure, unworthy._

_She would have not reached her full potential nor understood what she really wanted._

_She would have tried to obtain her distracted father's approval in any possible way, risking her life in the process, probably dying before her time._

_Sasuke is relieved that he's not there anymore._

_Now he understands that she has no fault for being born._

_He doesn't know that his former wife used Karin's Uzumaki chakra to carry on a genetically impossible pregnancy, in order to add another chain on him._

_Itachi will never tell him. He read Sasuke's soul. He felt his pain, the shame for not having been able to prevent manipulation. He doesn't want his beloved brother to suffer because he's too pure to detect this sort of betrayal. He doesn't need to focus on the past when the future is much better and the present is sweet and bright as the sunlight in spring._

_Besides, the child is happy. Her mother is happy too. They mourned his death and got over his loss._

_For Sakura it was like being freed from a curse, to be was finally over with the childhood obsession that clouded her judgment and turned her into a selfish shallow woman._

_Hatake Kakashi, former Sixth Hokage and current Seventh Hokage's right hand, supported her discreetly until he understood that her heart was blooming again, for him._

_Now he loves her openly, unconditionally, and she loves him back._

_He loves them openly, unconditionally, and they love him back, for Sakura is no longer a teenage girl. She is a young woman with a daughter who needs her more than anyone else._

_Together they brought him back from the darkness he had fallen into._

_Together they are his light and warmth. They are his world._

_Now he has someone real to protect, not just the honor of the village._

_His step daughter carries Uchiha genes. No one is more qualified than him to raise a future Sharingan user._

_For the silver haired man her slight resemblance to Sasuke is a reminder that he failed him, and an oath not to make the same mistake again._

_Not with the daughter of the woman he silently loved for years._

_Not with his own daughter, because Sarada calls him dad now._

* * *

When Sasuke muses about how his unwanted future he feels overwhelmingly grateful to Itachi, who didn't dispel Edo Tensei, who chose to stay with him.

_A god choosing to stay with a lowly human._

He hugs him tight then, burying his face in the crook of his neck, as if hiding from gloomy thoughts.

Itachi hugs him back. He knows what he's thinking, even when he demands for more, for the elder to take the lead, to be as passionate and rough and _dangerous_ as he can be.

It's hard for him at first, for he hates that dangerous, dark side of himself, that sought the Anbu and Tenzo's suffering, but most of it all that hurt his beloved brother many times, and in many ways, trying to bring out his powers by scaring and hurting him being only the last one.

_Together with taking advantage of Sasuke's love, admiration and attraction for his own pleasure._

Sasuke is his light indeed, and like the pale moonlight shining over a dark night but not overpowering it, his brother accepts and loves him as a whole, refusing to aknowledge different sides of him as he is just one: his brother, his soulmate.

_His sun, for Sasuke's life was like an endless rain falling from a grey sky, until Itachi, his sun, illuminated it._

* * *

When Sasuke enjoys the village they are staying in, he states with a deadpan expression:

"I wouldn't mind living here".

Itachi always agrees with a smile, but replies that there is a much better place waiting for him.

_For them, he adds almost shyly, ruffling his brother's hair, a part of him still surprised that Sasuke never stopped loving him._

Nevertheless he makes sure to stay longer than he initially intended.

_Time doesn't pass for them anyway. Months or maybe years have no effect on them._

Not that Sasuke would complain. He trusts Itachi's judgment. He yearned for his big brother for so long that even being scolded or denied something _–he loves to defy Itachi with little insignificant things just to be jokingly lectured–_ is a source of happiness. It means that the one he loves cares for him.

There's no more need to use henge or doujutsu once they cross the Great Shinobi Countries.

Neither of them has ever been so far away.

The five main states and the smaller ones around them occupy a whole continent, but beyond a mountain with an unpronounceable name, across a seemingly endless ocean, there are other villages, other states, other alliances and rivalries, other elders in charge and youngsters obeying.

Humanity is the same everywhere, but the farther they go, the simpler those lands appear, their villages are smaller and poorer, their lords and rulers less militarized, their guardians and fighters weaker, compared to what they come from, so much that they don't need to conceal their chakra anymore.

* * *

In the farthest corner of the world, in the poorest wasteland, Itachi says they're almost _there_.

Sasuke asks him if he is sure even if he's not worried. Even if he only sees a rocky barren land he trusts his big brother.

With his utmost surprise, beyond a canyon they are greeted by luxuriant nature, animals, people.

Not far from them there's a small, open gate.

The banner on top is blank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The words Itachi quotes are from Labyrinths by J. L. Borges, my favourite writer.
> 
> I never wanted to bash Sakura even though I put her under a negative light. It's not her fault but kishimoto's, who instead of developing her he made her selfish, shallow and destructive for the whole plot. In this fic I pointed out her flaws but I gave her a happy ending with Kakashi. I like Kakasaku, like I already said, and I like the idea of Sakura and her daughter becoming Kakashi's family, even if I really dislike the new generation kids.
> 
> Maybe you'll have noticed that I referred to Sakura's daughter with her own name only in this chapter: I did it on purpose, because in my universe, where things are viewed from Itachi's or Sasuke's point of view although the narrator is external, she represents a symbol more than a real person. She represents an unwanted relationship, a forced marriage, the result of Konoha (=Kakashi, Sakura, Naruto) manipulating Sasuke through guilt. In my story Sasuke's point of view depersonalizes her, until her existence is "legitimized", now that Sasuke is free, Sakura is free too, and Kakashi treats her like his own daughter. Now she is a real person. A happy person. It actually made me happy too, writing it.
> 
> I like the idea of Itachi and Sasuke travelling together. Recently I've been playing with an AU where they're in akatsuki together and one where they flee Konoha together. Anything to see them together I guess...
> 
> Here Itachi finally leads Sasuke again, in life and in sex, and Sasuke loves it. It's what he wanted since the start, he was defying Itachi to make him take control, not unlike certain children or animals do when they don't perceive authority over them and they feel lost, because to them authority means safety, being cared for.
> 
> Itachi enjoying small talk and human interaction is something I find very fitting for someone who has been deprived of it, forced to be a shinobi and all. Even more than Sasuke, who pushed people away, but also who had people around almost always. Writing Itachi's human side is a bittersweet experience,i like it very much. Also his protective side over Sasuke using henge...that's a funny reference to Tosyoen's doujinshi "Over Area". Tosyoen is my favourite doujinka, her Itachi is very inspiring.
> 
> In case it's unclear, the "stopping time" means that they aren't getting old, that time isn't leaving signs on them. the reason is well specified I think...Sasuke wants to take back the time stolen from them. He would have used Rinnegan to be a Hokage for eternity after all, it's only logical that he'd want to stay with Itachi as long as he can.
> 
> Also, his masochistic side here is more evident. He loves everything about Itachi, he's not afraid of his dark side (which is kinda sadistic I guess...) for him it's like offering himself to a deity, this is how he sees Itachi. Not just that, he also enjoys seeing Itachi worried about him, being scared to hurt him during those particular moments...Itachi pretended not to care about him in the past, as he hurt him, so it's a sort of compensation, to be cared for. To have his attention. It's purer than a bdsm thing, as you can see.


	12. Chapter 12

> _"Let's grow old together and die at the same time. (White Lies, To Lose My Life)"_

 

The gate is unattended; at a second glance a group of children is playing make-believe in the guard post.

As they spot the strangers they interrupt their game and rush at them.

Itachi kneels down and whispers something in the tallest boy's ear. He opens his eyes wide and nods before running away. His friends stay, gesturing the brothers to follow them.

They pass through a wide area that looks like a camp, with tents and buildings under construction, before arriving at what appears to be the core of this village.

Here the streets are vibrant and lively. The houses are all quite new and very simple, but each one has its own peculiar shape and color.

Like its villagers.

_As if all those people and their houses were samples of humanity and its diversity._

* * *

They hear noises from what looks like a training ground. Then silence, and they're suddenly attacked. Sasuke unsheathes his sword and effortlessly blocks it.

Young voices murmur their admiration for the stranger.

"You can't beat me…Suigetsu." Sasuke grins.

"Watch your mouth, Sasuke. You're talking with the owner of the Seven Swords".

Replies the other with a smug look.

"Six." rebukes Sasuke: everyone knows Killer Bee has Samehada.

_At least there is someone who doesn't back out from a good fight, Suigetsu says, but his joy in seeing Sasuke is much deeper than that._

Suigetsu keeps bragging until he is cut off by a high pitched scream, a sequel of insults and a loud "I'm so happy to see you!".

Uzumaki people are strong indeed: not even Kusanagi prevents Karin from hugging Sasuke so strongly he can barely breathe.

He doesn't complain, not even when she looks at him, then at Itachi, then at him again, probably weighing their chakra and everything that comes with it.

_She notices how tall Sasuke has become, how his hair are still unruly even if they are longer, and his bangs almost cover one eye until he shakes his head to shift it._

_He is still pale and slender, much like his brother, because she recognizes Uchiha Itachi from his chakra and the resemblance with her friend._

_The older man's skin tone is less pale, his hair are straight and neat, he has distinctive tear troughs and his eye shape is slightly different, but nevertheless they look like each other._

_They are both attractive men. They both are slightly intimidating, each one in their own way._

_Karin sees their chakra:_ _Sasuke's still looks like a raging storm of emotions that threaten to burst out like the lightning._ _Itachi's is like a deep warm fire buried underground, calm and collected, knowing that nothing can put out that fire._

"Karin, let him breathe…"

Says Juugo with his usual calm tone.

His curse mark is smaller, he has it under control now. That's why he looks more confident, happier.

_There's another reason: Karin._

_The way she looks at Sasuke is caring and affectionate but it's not the same look as before. That ones is only for Juugo._

Karin takes his hand and pulls him closer to her and Sasuke, for a big collective hug. Suigetsu looms teasingly over the group, close enough to touch them.

Itachi smiles at the heartfelt display of affection.

_Finally his beloved brother is amongst his true friends, whom he didn't have the chance to see but about whom he heard many stories._

_About whose loyalty and love for Sasuke he saw in his brother's memories._

* * *

A loud caw and a screech interrupt their moment.

Sasuke's hawk is flying over them. Itachi's crow is following it mischievously, multiplying then returning one again, taking advantage of the raptor's confusion to pull his tail.

They both land on Juugo's shoulders.

"Crows like pulling tails. They are smart and playful animals."

He explains, handling it to his owner.

The brothers haven't seen the birds since days; they often send them ahead but usually they return soon. This time they must have enjoyed this place so much that they decided to wait for their owners here.

The hawk reaches Sasuke's arm, closing its eyes when its master's pets it.

"Anyway the crow always looked after the hawk."

_Just like Itachi: i_ _ife forced him to pull his little brother's tail hard, y_ _et he always watched over him._

* * *

The hospital is peaceful and clean except from a room full of test tubes and books. That's Orochimaru's lab.

_Some things never change._ _His research must have been a complete success, as he looks younger and healthier._

"I had a feeling you would have looked for me once again, Sasuke."

The man remarks, smirking.

_Orochimaru hoped to see Sasuke again._

_He knew that his former pupil was a free spirit, that he would never be content in Konoha, that he would never forget his ideal, yet he hoped he was wrong, for l_ _iving in a small world with a narrow mindset would have been easier._

Orochimaru can't help but feel proud that his pupil succeeded where he failed _._

 _It must have taken a long time and great effort_ , _to_ _improved Edo Tensei so much. Not even him succeeded._

He is proud that the young man is a free thinker, guided only by his values, not those imposed by Konoha's hypocrite system.

He can't help stare in awe when Itachi's left eye activates his Rinnegan.

_Itachi doesn't need to intimidate him; he knows that the snake sannin has no hostile intent._ _Nevertheless, his big brother instinct kicks in. Just in case._

The young boy who wanted to become stronger, who followed him, perfectly aware that he would have to give him his body, the young man who summoned him to learn everything he ignored because he wanted to understand the brother he chased throughout all his life, is an adult now.

_Yet his brother is still the force that moves him, Orochimaru thinks, shaking his head._

_Maybe Itachi is the only way to predict where the wind will blow when it comes to Sasuke_.

Lastly they meet Kabuto. He is healing a child's leg, looking tired but serene. They say that he is the one who works the most, both as a medic and as a teacher, but Karin complains loudly: she works with him therefore both of them work the most.

Kabuto is overjoyed at the sight of the two brothers. When he was trapped in Izanami's loop he experienced firsthand their love for each other, Itachi's will to protect Sasuke and Sasuke's pain for being forced apart.

* * *

The group shows them around, pointing at this and that, bickering and screaming, asking about their former leader's opinion on countless matters. A few steps behind his brother listens carefully to the older ones' explanations.

They traveled for a long time, using Orochimaru's hideouts as lodgings, until they decided that their continent and its fake peace and order were no longer for them.

They wanted something more.

At times the group split up, each of them looking for something different, but they always reunited.

_Although there was nothing to keep them chained to the others, there was an unbreakable bond between them._ _They cared for each other. They loved each other. They were a family._

They hated admitting it but when someone wasn't there they missed them.

Even Juugo and the too many animals that slept in his room.

_Juugo always had the habit of saving animals._

_He saved a child once. Then another one, and another, until there was a bunch of orphans following them._

Even Suigetsu and his constant picking up fights because he needed to keep his collection of swords in exercise.

_He defended the weak but was often found drinking with those he beat up. He said he enjoyed liquor, no matter who poured it._

_Besides, most of those criminals were just rogue nin who had lost their job and purpose to a peace that didn't offer anything in return._

Even Karin's bossy attitude.

_She insisted that the orphans called her big sister, not auntie, because she was young and beautiful._

_She never scolded those who called her mommy; in her heart she enjoyed it._

_She cared for all her boys, young and old._

Even Kabuto and Orochimaru's weirdness.

_Unlike the others, tentatively following their instinct, Kabuto had a purpose: to atone for his crimes by helping as many people as he could._

_He would never forget that Itachi saved him. He wanted to be worth of his trust._

_Orochimaru observed them, neutral._

_Once they were his test subjects and assistants._

_They were scared, for he had preyed on their fear. They were selfish, for they had to survive._

_They had grown up. They had forgiven him. They looked up to him. They cared about him, even._

_He would have never thought such details could matter so much._

* * *

"It's a challenge" Orochimaru said when they left the last outpost of humanity –nothing more than a wasteland –towards an empty, barren land. They all agree that the sannin's smile was scary when he inspected the enormous plain of nothingness, envisioning how it would become.

They were undoubtedly the right people for claiming such hostile and useless land.

_Hostile and useless, just like them._

Kabuto and Suigetsu used their water jutsu to create a lake and a river.

With the techniques replicated from Yamato's Hashirama cells Orochimaru created plants, trees, flowers, a fertile soil.

Juugo told his animal friends that this place was safe for them to live in.

After animals humans started arriving too; outcasts without a place in the world, people who had lost their families and their villages in a war between mythical creatures in a faraway land across the sea, or so they had heard, because the only thing they knew for sure was that their whole world had been wiped away by gigantic burning stones falling from the sky.

Juugo is in charge with security.

His animals patrol the land, inside and outside the village; they can perceive chakra, when they sense bad people arriving a seal is activated and the village becomes invisible.

There haven't been many bad people arriving anyway, those who come only need a second chance.

_Just like them._

They are greeted by Karin, who senses chakra, lies and true intentions.

_Suigetsu says she's not smarter than animals; s_ _he hits him, he turns into a puddle of water and people laugh, after a long time._

Kabuto takes care of their poor health.

Suigetsu keeps things in check because fights may happen between people from different countries and cultures and they can always be settled, be it through talking or through a brawl and a few drinks afterwards.

Orochimaru doesn't take part in these activities. He created the environment; he is a scientist, not a philanthropist. He often enjoys the observation though.

"It is an experiment," he says, "a study on social behavior".

Karin jokes about him having become a good old man, after a young woman they walk into bows respectfully, without an ounce of fear, to greet him.

"What a nonsense" he adds, "I'm not old."

They arrive at a lake whose water is impossibly blue, surrounded by trees and flowers that shouldn't exist in the same place.

"Here snakes and birds live together," states Juugo, pointing at the luxuriant scenery.

"How is it possible?" asks Sasuke, no longer masking his curiosity.

_He's no longer around people who used his ideals and feelings to manipulate him into submission, he can express himself freely now._

"Because we want to" Orochimaru replies. "This place is a paradox. An impossibility made possible by our will."

"You will like it here," he adds, "You are two paradoxes as well."

* * *

Karin explains that she recognized Sasuke's chakra when she spotted the birds.

They couldn't wait to see him again; they wanted to set everything up for his arrival but there was too much to do.

It takes time to build a house; the only decent place available is a nearby shed.

She can't imagine that Sasuke will love it.

_A wooden cabin hidden by the trees, just like the one where his new life began._

* * *

Itachi never had dinner with such chaotic people.

_He has perfect table manners, as becoming of the destined leader of a prestigious noble clan._

_He lived on food pills during his Anbu years. Later, because of the illness that gave him constant nausea he barely ate._

_Since he's been brought back he enjoys eating with Sasuke, just the two of them sharing food and talking quietly, a simple act, but for someone who had been stripped of everything like him –like them –it was pure bliss._

He enjoys the noise and the silly fights over food.

He drinks the liquor Orochimaru pours for him and Sasuke, jokingly remarking that in the past this would have never happened because they were both underage, conveniently omitting what happened between them all.

_That part of their past is gone. He doesn't need the Rinnegan to see how Orochimaru has changed._

He answers everyone's questions, squeezing Sasuke's hand under the table, when one of them makes the boy uncomfortable.

The younger is used to their chaos and their lack of tact, but somehow he's brought back to a past where he had to defend Itachi's memory, although not against them, who never judged him, who always supported him.

_It must be an effect of meeting his former comrades, living remainders of his past, but the discomfort only lasts until_ _Itachi's warm hand brings him back to reality, when he sees things as they are._

_They like Itachi, that's why they ask him questions._ _They are not Konoha. For them his brother is neither an abomination nor a killer._

_It's their former leader's beloved brother. It's their amazing new friend._

When the feast is over, just as Karin and Juugo walk arm in arm, Itachi takes Sasuke's hand.

_Suigetsu is about to tease him; the former leader of their group, the one who defeated Orochimaru, the one who defeated a so called god, walking hand in hand with his big brother._

_He doesn't say it though. No one better than his former comrades know how much he loved Itachi, how strongly he suffered knowing the truth, how hard he fought to avenge him._

_Now they see his love before their eyes. A love that brought Itachi back from the grave, that_ _gave Itachi a godlike power because Sasuke didn't need it, because the only thing he needed was him._

* * *

Even though it's very late they are not tired: they are excited for the many possibilities that this place might bring.

It's like starting a new chapter of their lives, but at the same time they feel that their wonderful journey –of which they'll always cherish each memory –is over.

It's a warm, yet bittersweet feeling, coming home at last.

Sasuke thought he had forgotten his former comrades' voices, their gestures, their quirks; on the contrary, everything they did was familiar.

He had chosen them. He hated to admit it back then, but he knew well that he needed their abilities to find Itachi.

_So that he could kill his terminally ill brother, who took medicines to prolong his life so that Sasuke could end it himself, something he wasn't able to do anyway._

_They fought, he used all his attacks and yet he couldn't defeat him._

_He wasn't strong enough to reach him. He ended up watching him die in front of him._

_The memory of Itachi's burnt arm, his injured leg, his hand clutching his chest while coughing blood will always make him shiver._

He had chosen them but they had chosen him too, when they stayed after his goal had been reached, when they helped him towards his new goal, avenging Itachi, then protecting the village in Itachi's memory.

They were truly loyal. He had been loyal too, he had protected them as he could, he had awoken a new power to save Karin. Until he had to choose between Karin and Itachi.

_They all knew that in his mind, in his heart, in his soul, there was no place for anyone else._

It wasn't rare that Sasuke talked about his old team, who had tried to lessen the anger, the desperation, the pain he felt.

_Trying to make him smile, doing small and big tasks for him had lessened their own burden of sadness. Sometimes he had felt less desperate too, around them._

He never talked about wanting to meet them, so before arriving Sasuke didn't have a clue about Itachi's destination.

He didn't even know if he had a place in mind or if he would decide it along the way. It didn't matter because he trusted him. Besides, every place would have been perfect if they were together.

_Every place was perfect because Itachi is perfect: once again Sasuke is surprised by his brother's foresight and ability to read between the crevices of his heart._

_His brother saw that he would have liked to meet his friends long before he did, but there was more. He_ _wanted to give Sasuke everything he deserved –Sasuke deserved everything –but couldn't have because of Konoha, because of life, because of him._

_For Itachi what Sasuke deserves is not just his protection and his endless, eternal, devoted love._

_He needs roots, a place to belong, friends and people who love him for who he is._

_Even if said friends are remainders of a dark past, even if Orochimaru has been an evil man for most of his life._

_When he had access to Sasuke's memories Itachi saw how much they respected and cared for him, unlike those he left in Konoha._

Sasuke is not able to read Itachi's heart with the same ease.

_He is not like Itachi and he doesn't want to be. Not anymore. He is luckier because he can admire his perfection. He can live beside such perfection._

Nevertheless, he knows that there is one more reason behind his decision.

A selfish one, although selfish is not the right word to define his older brother's need to give his new life and power a bigger purpose.

_Every place would have been perfect, Sasuke always said._

_For Itachi it was the same. He loved wandering with his brother. He loved the intimacy between them, whether they were the only humans in a forest at night or strangers in a crowded town._

_He loved how the younger depended on him for orientation, guidance and much more._

_Yet he wanted to put his power to good use. He wanted to honor the gift Sasuke bestowed him by doing something good for him and for the world._

* * *

It's the first time that they see a bathtub whose legs are shaped as lion paws, one of the many different objects brought here by people from different cultures and aesthetic taste.

The light of countless candles dancing on his chiseled bare chest, Itachi points out his marvel at the vastness of the world and the diversity of its people to a seemingly distracted Sasuke, who enters the tub and rests his head on its edge.

The elder knows why his brother is so silent: he is overwhelmed by emotions and resurfacing memories but most of it all he is afraid to lose what they have.

_The precious complicity, the intimacy they share, the meaningful words, the comfortable silences, the hungry kisses, the light touches, the heavy caresses, every facet of their love, the kaleidoscopic bond that escapes definitions and boundaries._

He is frightened of not being Itachi's only thought anymore.

_Something always came before him, in the past. Training, their father's orders, missions, Konoha. Even capturing Naruto was more important than fighting him._

_Sasuke knows, now, that Itachi loves him more than anything and anyone._

_He knows that his older brother sacrificed his whole life for him, that he devoted the new one to him as well._

_Itachi listened to him like no one ever did. He cared for him. He embraced the madness that was creeping inside him since the war ended –not before. They said he was crazy when he attacked the Kage. That he had fallen into the darkness when he killed Danzo but he knew exactly what he was doing. He was avenging his brother, a lucid act that they condemned as insane to keep their consciences clean._

_Itachi betrayed Konoha for him. He killed for him. He set off on a journey to find his brother's old comrades._

_Knowing that Itachi's love for him and his need to use his power –he never thinks about his Rinnegan as the power he gave him –for good are two different things doesn't help Sasuke._

He is scared that Itachi will entrust him to his former teammates, that he will no longer watch over him.

That he will no longer love him.

_Sasuke doesn't need to be entrusted to someone._ _He doesn't need a new Naruto. He doesn't need a new Konoha._ _He wants to stay with Itachi because he loves him, and he wants to be loved by him._

Every time Sasuke adjusted to the sudden changes that shook his life since the massacre, every time he found a way to react, a new event occurred and he had to start all over, picking up the broken pieces, that became smaller and more shattered each time, with each hit.

Like their meeting in the woods, that brought him an indescribable joy, but when he disappeared Sasuke was alone and desperate.

_He wished to cling to him as he was fading away._

_He wished to grab his hand and never let it go._

_He wished to close the distance between their mouths, as their foreheads touched._

_He wished to be inside Kabuto's head, where he and Itachi were still fighting side by side, where they still had time._

Sasuke needs reassurance. Itachi's eyes are full of love and understanding as he caresses his cheek.

"Nothing will change between us, Sasuke. I promise" he says, softly.

The younger's look lightens up. He needed to hear this.

"I will never abandon you." Itachi cups his face with both hands.

"I love you, Sasuke."

He whispers, kissing the younger's lips. It's a chaste loving gesture, until Sasuke opens his mouth ever so slightly, and Itachi can't help but do the same and it's like opening a dam and letting his soul pour into the other through the contact of their lips and touch of their tongues.

When he breaks the long kiss Sasuke's face is flushed and his eyes half closed.

_Hypnotized by the elder's deep gaze, wanting more of those kisses, wanting more of his soul that he just tasted._

Itachi enters the tub, settling behind his brother, washing his hair as he always does.

Sasuke nestles against his chest, while the elder's hands massage his scalp then his tense shoulders.

"…I wouldn't mind living here…" Sasuke mutters.

Itachi kisses the back of his head.

"You will be happy here."

He hugs him tightly.

_Just as Sasuke has a hard time expressing his feelings, he still can't relate himself to happiness._

" _We_ will be happy here."

He grazes his teeth on Sasuke's neck. He kisses the junction between neck and shoulder, while his hands travel lower, from his waist to his groin to his hard length, pumping him slowly, while the younger moans, his hips bucking unto his hand.

* * *

The brothers start helping the village a few days after their arrival.

Itachi does everything, from healing the sick with Kabuto to assisting Karin in welcoming and counseling other newcomers to find their inclination, so they can settle, be independent, and give back to the community.

_They all need to give back. They need to feel useful. Itachi sees it in their eyes._

Sasuke's inclination not being people oriented, he sometimes helps with building and repairing, not unlike what he used to do during his genin days, although he's sometimes found working on his favorite task, taking care of the animals with Juugo.

_He finds easier to express affection to animals._ _Some things will never change._

Itachi often joins him, as he promised that they would be together, that he would never leave him.

Working side by side with his older brother makes him feel safe, content, worthy, no matter the task.

* * *

One autumn day the whole group, including Orochimaru, leads the Uchiha brothers to a newly built structure in the center of the village. In the largest room a little man is polishing a beautifully carved desk and a throne-like chair.

When they all compliment him heartily the artisan keeps dusting, brushing off their words as if his work was nothing special.

_He worked hard but he did it happily because he wanted to thank those who helped him and his family._

_These people are indeed special._

_The noisy one with the sharp teeth who bets too often on the wrong side and has to pay drinks for everybody._

_The quiet one who is always surrounded by animals and calls little children human puppies._

_The girl with glasses who managed to get his wife out of the fragile state she was in, after the loss of their youngest son during their journey, by visiting her every day and chatting about everything that came to her mind._

_The medic who never looks at people in the eyes but spends entire nights watching over them when they are ill._

_The effeminate man who talks like he's way older, and the new arrivals, the young man with a kind smile and sad but warm eyes who's always willing to help, and his pale younger sibling, who works in silence and leaves before he can be thanked._

Casually tracing the hollow and pointy peaks of the chair Orochimaru says:

"Sasuke, I decided to help you in the past because I wanted to see you change the world."

He always welcomed any change. To him, stable meant stagnant.

"I still want to see the kind of world you have in mind, so…this is for you."

Sasuke's eyes widen in surprise.

_Konoha rejected him and his ideas of change. He was deemed as crazy, unreliable, wrong, he was forced to hide his real self, succumbing to their manipulations in order to be accepted, but now his former mentor is giving him complete control of the place he built with the comrades he left behind._

He sits in the carved chair while all the eyes are on him.

Especially Itachi's. He is proud of his little brother, finally acknowledged as trustworthy.

Sasuke accepts without formality. Before the congratulations begin, the young Uchiha stands up, and with confidence he announces:

"You have done a great job so far, without me. And there is someone who's better than me anyway, so my first change is to leave the job to my brother, Uchiha Itachi."

A moment of stupefied silence follows the announcement.

Everyone is familiar with Itachi by now. They trust him completely just as they trust Sasuke.

Orochimaru smirks at another development he didn't foresee.

_His former pupil is really special._

"My, my, the once power thirsty Uchiha Sasuke becoming sentimental and leaving everything to his brother…again …" he jokes, unfazed by the younger's glare, "…Fine. It's your choice, after all. I have the feeling I'll have a lot of fun from now on…"

Sasuke is serious as he addresses his old sensei.

"I wanted to build a better world because it was my brother's dream" he asserts calmly, after a brief glance to his brother, "but now that I have him with me..." he pauses, looking for the right words.

_Now that I have him with me I don't care for anything else, I have everything I want._

"I'm not the right person for ruling a village. Itachi is. He is smart, and wise, and selfless."

_He sacrificed himself and the ones he held dear for the greater good, while I would have burnt everything to ashes in his name._ _I would still do it._

"…He is perfect…"

The words slip from his lips as a barely audible whisper.

Itachi places both his hands on his Sasuke's shoulders. Now all eyes are on him.

_The older Uchiha couldn't choose that path when he was young and the whole village was in danger._

_When Sasuke –his precious Sasuke, his pure brother whose birth had blessed his sad existence –was in danger._

_He used to be a criminal, a killer, a monster who didn't deserve such honor, a voice tells him. He is a killer, for he reveled in the sight of Sasuke's enemies suffering, not so long ago._

_Their friends' acceptance, and Sasuke's eager, loving eyes give him strength, pulling him out of the momentary darkness, once again._

_This is his new life. This is the village where everyone deserves a second chance._

_Him included: he has the power to help all of them, to make his dream of a better world come true, to make the world a better place for Sasuke, like he desired as a child._

_He won't make the same mistakes of the past._

His voice is firm, unwavering, like his heart.

"I humbly accept this honorable position, on one condition."

Orochimaru is visibly thrilled at the new surprise.

"We will rule together."

* * *

The banner on the gate finally has some writing painted on it.

Koegakure no Sato.

_The Village of Voices, where everybody counts and nobody is forgotten._

The name was decided with a vote.

Each part of the community, from agriculture to carpentry and construction, from the police corps, to arts and medicine, from the founding members to the newly arrived, everyone is equal and has the right to express their opinion, first in assemblies, then through their delegates in the Council, where the Kage expresses his final verdict only after having listened to all parties.

Civilians are involved in every issue. Nothing is kept secret from them.

People feel safe and happy. Population keeps growing from the inside and the outside.

* * *

Everybody loves the powerful but modest Kage.

Everybody loves his grumpy right hand, who makes sure that his brother's final decisions are followed through and his name is not disrespected _-nobody ever disrespects him, but some habits are old to die-_ when he doesn't try to prevent the soft spoken yet stubborn Kage himself from working too much.

Before submitting his ideas to the council Itachi wants to know Sasuke's opinion.

Despite the frequent disagreements –the younger's ideas are bold, often reckless –he values immensely his insights, a result of growing up alone, with no real model, no heritage, no loyalty besides the oath he swore.

_Only his unrelenting will and the memories of a happy life that had turned into a nightmare._

They both enjoy the moments before the official meetings start, when sitting by the carved table there is just him and the beautiful, vehement young man.

Sasuke doesn't mind being outsmarted by his wiser brother, but it doesn't stop him from saying what's on his mind.

He likes defying him after all. And he likes teasing him, so much that more often than not their exchanges turn into something else entirely.

 _It happens, sometimes, that Sasuke ends the debate by leaving the room. Or trying to. He never makes it because Itachi shoves him on the table –just what Sasuke likes, he sees it in the younger's eyes, as he loosens his hair, he hears it in the younger's words –to explain him_ _the issue again, all the while kissing and biting every inch of his pale taut skin, relishing in every moan, shivering every time he arches beneath him, defying him again, urging him to sink deeper, calling out his feral side that the elder doesn't fear and hide anymore._

* * *

Kabuto runs the hospital. He is always considerate of others' ideas, but when it's time to decide he always supports Itachi, just as Juugo always supports Sasuke.

Orochimaru never expresses his opinion. He likes the discussions, though.

Sometimes he doesn't leave his lab for weeks, until he calls for a special meeting to announce his latest discovery to improve farming, health, or security.

_No more experiments on humans for him. Climate and plants and bacteria are just as interesting. His countless jutsu, applied to the village's needs are more satisfying._

_Besides, doing the same thing for a lifetime is boring, he says ironically._

On Itachi's suggestion Sasuke keeps learning from the sannin.

The elder noticed his inclination for research as soon as he was brought back. He told his brother that it would be a waste of potential if he didn't explore that part of himself.

_Itachi wants Sasuke to learn as much as he can, to be more than a shinobi, unlike what happened in the old world, where fighters had to fight without knowing why and how the conflicts started in the first place._

_Itachi enriched his baggage with history, philosophy and art, subjects he still loves._ _He asked each family to bring the few books they owned to the library they built._ _There wasn't much, until Orochimaru donated his own huge collection._

Karin is in charge of the school, where children study history and culture of every part of the world.

They learn how life is in the places where their schoolmates come from; they are reminded of what it's like to live in times of war and hardships, so that they'll appreciate peace. They learn arts and crafts because the village needs all kind of abilities to function properly, because everyone has a unique potential, and everyone's contribution is equally important.

Although not a militarized village like Konoha, there are many who want to defend the place they love so much. There is no will of fire and no rhetoric in the authentic love for their homes and their families.

Suigetsu is more than happy to teach how to fight to adults and kids alike.

At times Orochimaru offers his help. He considers himself a good teacher who was misunderstood, after all, and it's interesting to teach the basics to people who never practiced before.

Occasionally Sasuke and Itachi join them.

Karin and Juugo, always hand in hand, bring lunch for everyone.

Suigetsu complain that they should kiss in private; Karin teases him because he hasn't found a girlfriend.

The swordsman assures he has plenty. Someone laughs out loud; some female voice apparently popped out of nowhere threatens to beat him up.

They eat together, enjoying the breeze and the sunlight.

And peace, for they have finally found theirs.

This is their new world order.

* * *

Sasuke's past idea of a new world was equal rights under an all-seeing ruler.

His ideal Hokage was not loved by citizens. It was someone strong enough to shoulder their fear and hatred.

He would have become that Hokage. He wanted to be like his perfect brother, who willingly accepted to become a monster in the eyes of the same stupid people he protected, so much that the idea of bearing the world's hatred was a way to be closer to Itachi. To be like Itachi.

_To be Itachi. So he wouldn't miss him anymore._

He never made it. He was beaten and manipulated, forced into a life he didn't want, until he brought Itachi back. Until Itachi lightened up his existence.

Itachi made his resolve, his plan real. And better.

Back in the Great Five Countries' continent, the Shinobi Alliance now has a common enemy to keep them united and strong.

_Not in hate and fear but out of love for their dear ones and determination to protect them._

Sasuke is remembered as the hero who died protecting Konoha from that unknown threat. He is a martyr, unlike Itachi, still considered a monster.

The thought bites at him. Not at Itachi, for whom Sasuke's life, his safety, his reputation have always been more important.

Besides, that is not their life anymore.

This is their life.

A village that loves them both.

A village that knows everything he did and still accepts him.

A village that respects Sasuke.

A place that's both real, for they built it and call it home, and ideal, for it represents the realization of their ancestor's wills.

Here Senju and Uchiha work together. Here there is no discrimination.

This is their life now.

His brother, alive, safe, surrounded by companions who don't want to change him. His brother beside him. His pure, childlike smile that's just for him.

Not for his friends -he smiles at them, but not in the same way- not for Orochimaru, who stares at him like he's looking at a masterpiece, and at Sasuke as the genius who created it.

"You made my dream of immortality come true, Sasuke."

He says. The younger lowers his gaze. He doesn't reply. Itachi doesn't either, but after a long silence, filled by the chirping of birds and distant voices, he speaks softly, his hand on top of his brother's.

"I'm not immortal. I intend to live until Sasuke wants to live, and die with him."

There is more but he doesn't need to say it. Not now that the sunrise colors Sasuke's pale skin with a rosy shade.

Not now that his eyes are speaking in a silent language that's only theirs, telling that Itachi made his dream come true. His sensei wanted to defeat death, he wanted his most important person to come back.

His sensei calls it immortality, he calls it love. They both call it love.

That's why if Sasuke wants him to slow down the passing of time for his friends as well, he'll do it.

If Sasuke wants to live forever he'll live with him forever.

If Sasuke wants to grow old he'll grow old with him.

If Sasuke wants to die he'll die with him and they'll go to the other world together.

If the cycle will continue, if they will have to be born again, if they'll be separated, he will find his brother. His soulmate, for their souls are connected and their bond is stronger than life and death.

If there's a price to pay for bending the rules –life and death, time and nature –Itachi will take Sasuke's burden upon himself.

He will protect Sasuke for eternity, as he swore when he first saw him.

That's what a big brother does: protect his younger brother.

That's what he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the last paragraph more or less when I first planned out the whole fic. I didn't change this chapter at all, it's the way it was meant to be.
> 
> I quoted Ray Bradbury in one of Orochimaru's lines (We are an impossibility in an impossible universe).
> 
> I made Itachi's crow able to multiply itself, for no particular reason.
> 
> People migrating to the village, different cultures integrating with each other, how a good village should be governed, are influenced by real life stuff I guess. Real life national and international politics suck waaaay more than Konoha.
> 
> Last but not least, I loved writing Team Taka here because they are they best friends Sasuke has, and I love their love for Sasuke, so I needed to have them in my grand final. They're really amazing.
> 
> I said too much in the previous chapters' notes so now there is nothing more. This chapter is very self explanatory, and I think that a good ending doesn't need many explanations unlike the previous parts. It's supposed to be heartwarming, so I'll leave you to your feelings, hoping I made you feel a lot, like I did writing this.


End file.
